Calling baby after late cousin?

[gowiththeflow87]

I lost my cousin aged 27 very suddenly last year. We were very close. Her name was Jessica. I've just found out I'm expecting. If it's a girl is it a nice idea to name her Jessica? Or is it seen as disrespectful/morbid. Would it be a constant reminder or a nice tribute?

How about a middle name?

My kids have middle names after loved ones we’ve lost.

Best of luck to you

Could you use it as a middle name? Might be nice for baby to have their own name rather than being named after a dead family member, especially one lost tragically early.

@OverTheRainbow88

How about a middle name?

My kids have middle names after loved ones we’ve lost.

Best of luck to you

I did think that. That is probably what we'll do. I do think it's a pretty name in itself x

I love the name Jessica

@OverTheRainbow88

I love the name Jessica

Me too xx

Sorry for your loss OP. Jessica is a lovely name.

Its obviously totally your choice but I think this is exactly what middle names are perfect for. I must admit that I do find it a little morbid, as your baby is a person in thier own right and should have an identity that is separate to your cousin, but I can totally understand why you would want to do it.

I am named after a friend of my parent's who died on the day I was born... I even have her nickname. It has never bothered me.

I would however ask your aunt & uncle if they are ok with it.

I love the name Jessica btw.

I would either use Jessica as a middle name or something similar as a first name - Jessamine perhaps? Definitely wouldn’t use exactly the same first name for lots of reasons.

I think if you ask your Aunt & Uncle (& cousins siblings) her DH/partner if she had one, then it's ok if they're ok with it.

Your DD can still be a person in her own right even if she's named after your cousin!

Using it as a middle name is fine if you're not so keen on the name, but as you like the name, seems a shame not to use it, if the others are happy for you to.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin. I'm not a fan of honour names as first names in general, especially when it's such a young person died so recently. For the child, I think it's important that they have their own identity, as they are a completely new person. And for the family I think it might be very hard to accept a new Jessica so soon after the loss of your lovely cousin.

If you do decide to go for it, I would definitely make sure to see what your aunt, uncle and Jessica's siblings think, whether they think it's a touching honour and continuation of her legacy or a painful reminder of your loss. If she has any siblings who might be having children in the future then they might want to use the name for their own daughters if they have any, and might be upset at what they perceive as you 'stealing' the name (obviously that might not be relevant, but I have seen it come up before).

Personally I would use Jessica as a middle name, as I think it honours your loved ones without any of the other issues that can come up with honour names. Good luck with your pregnancy and I'm sure you will find a name that feels right for you and your family.

It would make a lovely middle name to honour your cousin, but I'd check with her parents first (if you are absolutely certain you want to use it) before using it as a first name - it could be too painful for them.

I agree, it would be lovely to use Jessica as a middle name. Please ask your aunty and uncle first though. Dd2 has late dd1’s first name as her middle name and lots of people commented (in a positive way) when she was born.

It’s a nice idea and a lovely name. It won’t bother your child, and I don’t think it’s morbid at all, it’s a nice tribute.

If you want to use as a first name I would check w aunt and uncle (unless you and your cousin were very close, in which case I think you get to do what you want), no need to check if a middle name.

I'd use Jessica as the first name. A lovely name and a lovely tribute

Jesse for a boy maybe

I'd go for middle name even if family ay they are ok with it over the years that might change and become very painful for them .

So sorry for your loss OP, Jessica is a lovely name. I love my cousin to bits so I would be proud to name my daughter after her. Have you spoken to your aunt & uncle about it? Perhaps that would be a good idea if not just to hear their views. Many congrats on your pregnancy & very best wishes OP.

It's a nice name. You could run it past her parents first.

It will be the baby's name even if she was named in honour of someone else, and a thoughtful tribute.