How to agree on a name without committing murder?

[Boyorgirl3]

It has became very clear that my DP and I do not like the same names, I have rhymed off about 50 girls names some I love, some I like, others I think could grow on me, anyway my DP has basically said no to all of them exect two, Anya and Clara, he didn't actually sound that enthusiastic about those either to be honest, these names I like but don't love. I asked him for some suggestions, he reluctantly looked at the ONS list for 5 minutes and said he likes Robyn and Thea, I do not like these names at all. He's spent more time thinking of silly names and finds himself amusing. To put it politely he is starting to pi** me off. Has anyone else had a similar experience and how did you come to an agreement?

If there is a name you really love just start refering to the baby by that name. Either it will grow on him by the time baby is here, or you will both hate it by then! I chose my baby's names, dh could veto any he didn't like, but i picked them.

I was supposed to be a boy.
My parents each separately wrote a list of ten girl's names when I was born. My name was the only one that appeared on both lists so that's my name.

There is a baby name app called Kinder where you both download it and swipe left or right on each name (just like Tinder ) It then shows you all the ones you agree on.. Might get him a bit more involved.

We had the same problem with boys names and eventually both liked about 3/1000!

What about Arna it's a bit of a mix of the two? Or Arla?

We had this problem with DD2. We didn't know whether baby was a girl or boy, we were in different countries (DH is in the Army) and we had already used the name we both agreed on with DD1.

In the end, I emailed him a list of 10 names, and when he called a few days later he had to give reasons for and against. Some were straight forward reasons (like I listed his cousins name, I hadn't put two and two together). Some were long-winded. But thinking of reasons made him actually consider, and he really liked one name. Which we used.

We never did agree on a boy's name. Partly because of his awkward surname!

What kind of names do you like?

The names he’s suggested are nice enough, not on the extremes of Livvi-Lou or Araminta!

There’s a website that lets you both veto names from a list of 500 and tells you at the end what you both picked.

Yup, mine couldn't give me any decent names either. Think he was being deliberately annoying. In the end I told him he got to name the last one (after a family member) so I'm naming this one whatbo decide and he can have a say in the middle name (again he wants setting that similar to a family name)

Hope he's not like this in other areas of your life together.

I'd just name her whatever I wanted and of course with my surname

www.namedtogether.com/BabyNamePicker.aspx?type=EWB100

Don’t think I’ve seen anyone suggest this website yet but we did it as a starting point and it really helped! Massive bonus is you can just load it on his phone and leave him to it. Then when he’s done you can do your selection without having to discuss too much

i have had a similar experience. the stupid fucking cock sucker of a degenerate shit head i call my fucking husband thought my baby boy should have been called Mike. what kind of fucking name is that? we argued for hours until shit hit the fan and now our baby has yet to be named.

I don't think that the names that each of you like are that far apart really. It's not like one of you likes Tinkerbell and Bluebird and the other one likes Jane and Lucy. I think you should both stop talking about it for a few months.

I'd definitely advise you to give the baby your surname. Disagreements about first names are one thing but don't give way on that, it's far more important.

"i have had a similar experience. the stupid fucking cock sucker of a degenerate shit head i call my fucking husband thought my baby boy should have been called Mike. what kind of fucking name is that? we argued for hours until shit hit the fan and now our baby has yet to be named."

You sound nice.

Michael and Shortenings of the name are lovely.

@diapers

i have had a similar experience. the stupid fucking cock sucker of a degenerate shit head i call my fucking husband thought my baby boy should have been called Mike. what kind of fucking name is that? we argued for hours until shit hit the fan and now our baby has yet to be named.

Wow

That's a very good question I'm yet to discover the answer 😂

Our eldest is named because dh said it was the only name on both our lists. Child named, my choice if middle name. All okay. I found the list when dc was six months old. His name was not on my list.

It suits him perfectly .

Out of the six names my dc have I chose one. I don't really mind.

Well, firstly he sounds like a bit of a twat all round - he clearly can't be arsed to engage with you on something which is important, and should be something you both look forward to discussing together. So - to be blunt - that's a strong vote for a. giving your baby your surname and b. giving your baby a name you love. Because if you split, you'll be glad you did!

However - as a DP - you should be giving your baby your surname anyway, as is traditional. Tell him this. That'll get his attention.

Then, remind him he has no right to register the baby, so if he wants any say at all, he'd better not act the twat any more or you'll simply stop discussing it and he'll find out what his child is to be called on the day. Then, present him with a list of your ten favourite names (at least). Tell him to do the same, so you have a starting point for discussion. Discuss! And if he drags his heels, smile and say that's fine, I'll decide myself.

This may all seem terribly unfair to him but bear in mind - if a man is like this over names, it's usually for one reason - they actually don't really care. Hard to imagine, but it's true. So - if you really care, and you've thought long and hard about names you love and names that will wear well and aren't too popular/too strange etc etc, if you've put all this effort in and he hasn't given one real shit about applying ANY thought to it whatsoever - well it's not a case of fairness, it's a case of doing best by your baby and no, I certainly wouldn't be giving an equal say on something so important to someone who has given it all of two minutes offhand thought.

Hear hear to all that, Yoni.

My husband had some bizarre choices for boys name... They were ridiculous... He was insistent.. To extent my birth plan stated... 'if its a boy no matter how much drugs Ive had do not let me accept these 3 names'... Midwife was 🤣 but agreed they were daft...