Opinion on a girl's name with (bad) family history

[LiliGhekiere]

Hello

My husband and I are just trying for our second baby, I secretly hope for a girl since I already have a boy, and I was talking about names with my mum. I am from Belgium, my husband is Scottish and we live in Scotland. So we need a name that sounds good in French and in English. I really like Annie, it's pronounced the same in both languages, and I think it is really cute. But my uncle (my gran's brother actually) used to be married to an Annie, their separation went horribly and he no longer talks to his kids because of her. My mum directly brought her up saying that she couldn't dissociate the name from her terrible aunt. Do you think I could still go for Annie in those circumstances?

Thanks

Lili

I think Annie is a lovely name & if you love it so much you name your baby girl that 😁

Yeah I would. She’ll learn to associate the name with her lovely grand-daughter instead ☺️

Maybe Anna instead which I think is more classical that Annie with the association (yet similar enough to fit your style).

Of course you can!

This sort of thing is why DH and I never discussed our baby name thoughts/decision with anyone.

My favourite girls' name was also the make of a woman who had jilted dh's brother. He vetoed the name for our first but was fine with it for our second (we didn't have another girl).
However the story is even worse for your dh's family. I think I wouldn't but I would go for something like Anna or Anya and call her Annie as a nn.

I second pp suggestion of Anna - it's beautiful, very classic and so international (and would hopefully help avoid the Annie association for your Mum?)

I've just reread your post. I think it's far enough removed that it would be fine. I thought it was your generation not your grandparents' generation...

My DM had a challenging relationship with her DM (so my DGM) I loved her name so called my eldest daughter after my DGM. My DM has said it has been really healing to her to have such a positive relationship with someone called the same thing

Yes I still would use it. A new Annie, a new love. There was a situation in my family with some similarities. The name in question was used and the person who could have been upset has mostly used the child's nickname, but hasn't seemed to have any problems.

I think Anna is more classic so I’d use that.

Use it.

I really like Annie. If you and your husband like it, go for it. Associations change. She'll soon just see it as her grandchild's name. She only thinks she can't disassociate it because she has no one else to associate it with.

I would only avoid a name for extreme family reasons - for example if someone in my family had been raped, murdered or abused by someone of that name. I vetoed one of DH's favourite names for that reason, a lovely name but a relative I love was sexually abused as a 9 year old by someone of that name so I couldn't risk causing them pain by using it.

Your situation isn't extreme so use Annie if you love it. I would consider the very international Anna as well, Anna known as Annie is lovely and works well in a lot of countries.

I know it's not entirely the same, but we ended up naming our son the same name as one of my childhood pets! It's a top 20 baby name, so not something ridiculous like 'Fluffy' or anything like that!

I've always loved the name, as did my partner. It was on our list of boys' names whilst I was pregnant, and when he was born it just suited him perfectly. However I was worried my family would find it really odd as the name was so associated with our old cat (even though he died around 15 years ago now!). My family of course loved the name when we told them so I shouldn't have worried. My son is a few months old now and none of us associate his name with the cat at all. Children really do become their names. Annie is lovely.

I'd use it for sure!

Yes I would use it. Her experiences can't define your life on such big things.

I'd definitely call the baby Anna though as a full name anyway. It's beautiful, and Annie is the obvious short form, and then your DD gets both options. Also, you get to announce baby name as Anna and that won't be such a big thing for your mum.

But do not pander, absolutely, and do not discuss names with ANYONE before the birth.

Are you close to your gran’s brother?
If you are I definitely would NOT do this.
However if you only see him once a year then it’s definitely okay x

Annie is a nice name, but i prefer Anna.

Other names that came to mind are:
Lucy / Lucie / Lucille
Amy
Amélee
Emily
Charlotte
Camille
Holly
Zara

I'd use it! Annie is a lovely name. I much prefer it to Anna, Ann etc

Someone I know has an Annabelle but they always get Annie if you wanted a longer version

I would still go for it. Unless it has bad connotations for you or your husband directly then other opinions should not influence your choice, would also end up restricting a lot of name options that you personally like.

Thanks everyone, all the comments have been so helpful :).

Alanah
Katie
Lucy
Tanya
Maria
Elaine
Marina
Leanne

We used a name that we love but that was unfortunately also the name of my DB’s ex. They’d broken up a good few years prior and there was no real animosity (and he now has a new partner) but he’d taken a long time to get over the breakup and think he was pretty miffed at first, but is fine with it now.