Using same name as friend

[Poppyolive90]

Hi,

I’m not pregnant yet but hopefully one day soon. We’ve had names picked out for years as we’ve been together a very long time. One of my partners friend’s wives has had a baby this week and they have named him our chosen boys name. I had a bit of a cry due to the fact that I’m not even pregnant yet and I feel like they’ve used the name and we can’t now. I know no one owns a name and I’m not even pregnant yet but I’m feeling quite fraught about the fact we’re still trying which I think is adding to my feelings.

I’d say it’s an unusual name, but one everyone has heard before. It’s top 500 so not ‘unique’ but just not in fashion at the moment. I’m worried that if we ever are lucky enough to have a baby it will look like we just copied them if we use that name.

Rambling post, sorry I just feel very emotional at the moment. I think I just want to know what you would think if someone in the same friendship group used the same name? My husband sees him pretty often, he’s definitely in his best friend group. But as a couple we don’t see them so often.

TLDR; would you use the same name as someone in your friendship group had used or would you think it was weird if someone did that?

Honestly don’t get hung up about it now. We had names picked out for years and then they just didn’t feel right when I was pregnant and when I gave birth. So if you’re anything like us, this is Unnecessary worrying. When you do have your baby and if they suit your chosen name, then just name them that. I’m sure your friends have bigger things in the world to worry about

I definitely agree to just test the water when you see them “it’s such an amazing name, it’s been on my list since I was a child myself!” And see how they react, positive response = no issue and you’ve set the ground work for if you ever want to use it. If you get a weird response then deal with it when you actually have to. You could end up with daughters and never need it or completely change your mind 😊

It's fine. Just mention it's a family name or something if it worries you.

They'll be a year apart anyways.

You have a right to choose your child's name but I do think you should be considerate of your friend and how they might feel about it.

That being said, see how you feel if you ever have a son. I understand having names you like but even if you have lots of children, they could all be girls! There is no reason to worry about this now.

I would tell them it’s a name you will likely use as it’s a family name so they get a warning if you’re all particularly close. If you have a welsh connection, it’s not like they can argue, especially if they don’t!

I had a name picked out for my future DD for years. It took a long time to have her (20 years of trying) but when she was born, I naturally gave her the name I had imagined her having.

I hate it now . It grates on me so I call her a nickname.

OP, you can call your future DS whatever you bloody well like. But keep an open mind as you might come up with something you like more.

@Poppyolive90

It’s a name we both agreed on (basically the only one!) but it’s important to me as it’s a welsh name and my Maiden name was welsh and my grandparents on my fathers side were welsh and I want to honour them in some way. I do feel like we could get away with the family name line due to that?

Only thing is we aren’t in wales so the name does stand out a bit in the South East!

If you still like the name when you have your son, you should go for it. If you so wish to explain why, give the reasons you’ve provided. Besides, there’s a chance that you might not like the name in the future or you might like a different name later on, but if you still like the name then just use it as a first name or a middle name.

One of my friends has a daughter with the same name as another friend’s daughter. They’re close and see each other regularly and it just results in both girls being known as “firstname surname” all the time. When they younger the youngest used to get called baby “firstname”.