Does my baby name have to 'go' with stepkids names??

[BunAndOven]

I was discussing baby names with a friend and one of my suggestions (Matilda) he said didn't 'go' with my stepkids names so we couldn't have that.

It's really thrown me.

DH has 4 kids, between 6 - 14, I care about them much and we have a great relationship, however I HATE their names. Like, embarrassed -to -shout -them- in -public -hate. (Obviously I haven't told anyone this!)

We have them about 40% of the time and they are all very excited for new baby.

Does new baby name have to 'go' with theirs??

No! Choose a name you like. The names they have are irrelevant.

No, your friend is being daft.

No it doesn’t.

As long as it’s a name you both like and agree on that’s all that matters. The SC shouldn’t come into it.

Of course not!

Okay this is all great so far and I'm very relieved

It's likely my name will be VERY different to theirs (think American surnamey, designer names)

Are we sure it won't matter when it really will be very different??

No! Name the baby something you and your osrent like. As long as isn't one if his either child's names it's fine

No. They are 5 individual humans not a matching set of ornaments.

That said, I wouldn’t go for say, Charlotte if DH already has a Charlie. Or a boy called Taylor if DH has a girl called Taylor etc etc...

But the names don’t need to match, no.

I don’t think it matters.

You hate their style of names so wouldn’t it be a shame to lumber your own child with something that goes?

What does your DH think? Has he suggested any names? - are they in a similar vein to his others?

A friend's opinion on your baby name has 'thrown' you?!

Wow. I thought you were going to say it's your child's father with reservations. Maybe ask your friend what name he prefers.

So. For example. DH already has;

Chanel
Hunter
Riley
Piper

And you would like something like Matilda?

I still think that would be totally fine.

I've never understood the thing about sibling names having to'match' in some way . They are individual people and their names don't have to go together. The main thing is that you and DH agree on a name you like.

No, this is your chance for you and DH to choose a name that you like for your baby.
Your SC's may not be that keen on their own names!

Thankfully DH appears to have quite a broad taste when it comes to names, so we're coming up with some we both like. His ex wife chose 2 of the 4.

Thanks all, glad to see I'm not being unreasonable in my initial response that my friend was being silly.

@FrancesHaHa I agree!

@CoffeeRunner good point, and yes they are very similar but worse than that

I'm a child of a second marriage and I spent my entire childhood wanting to feel part of what my siblings had and were so I would have been devastated if my name really singled me out as not "belonging" to my older siblings. As it is my name shares a first letter with two of them and we all had the same surname. It helped.
However, some names are massively cringe so I don't blame you for not wanting to add to a set of crap names (I even changed my rescue dogs name as it wasn't very 'us')

In short I think it's a tough one. Certainly not as simple as "It doesn't need to go"

Peter Andre is a pretty extreme example of this; his older ones have a completely different style of name to the younger 2. The four names look a bit weird together but so what? It wouldn’t make me choose a name for my child that I didn’t like! Pick the name you (and DP) like best!

Princess Tiaamii Crystal Esther Andre
Junior Savva Andreas Andre
Amelia Andre
Theodore James Andre

@salema that's a very good point re: Andre. And very similar theme names, on both sides, too.

Oh my goodness go with what you want! I think it's really tacky when all names 'go together' anyway!!!! I REALLY don't like one of my step children's names and am also embarrassed! I want to follow with 'it wasn't my choice!' 😂

@Missingthebridegene me too

Just because I’m nosy, but do you think your DH gets that the other names could be perceived a certain way and that you have a different style? You say there are a lot of names he likes, so do you think he is oblivious to the initial theme/style?

My DH definitely has a fairly similar taste to me but there are a few names that we disagreed on where he sees them in a total different light to me.

Siblings names don’t need to match or go together - they can be as different as you like. They are individuals.

I think as long as it doesn't horribly clash or sound too similar its probably fine e.g it would be weird to have an Emilia and an Amelia or a Harry and a Carrie. The age gap also means they are unlikely to be known in school as 'Matilda's sister' etc, they'll have their own identity.

@zigaziga yes, I think that's definitely true. It's crazy to me that he can't see how they sound (and made worse them all together if that makes sense, think a modern theme, like K for all the Kardashians)
He mocked my choice of Lottie, and in my head I was thinking HOW can he thinks that's awful but * is okay?

I have half siblings and my name is very different to theirs. They have names which were popular at the time they were born, like Sharon and Tracey.

Then Dad married my Mam who is a native Welsh speaker and I have a Welsh name which is quite different to my siblings names. None of us have been bothered by this.

I know people with slightly same kids names from one relationship, think Faith and Hope with a half sibling whose name is of a different style, think Ava or Ruby. It's fine, honestly.

I would avoid an obvious clash - if he has a Romeo you can't then have Juliet for example. Same witb Sophie and Sophia, Alexander/Alexandra etc. Other than that I wouldn't worry about it.

Matching names are cringey, babies grow into adults and are not a set so don't need matchy twee names.
I know of a family who have 5 or 6 children all named after perfume and aftershaves. Chanel I can kind of see, but joop is a touch too far for my taste.

My kids don't have names connected or matching in any way. DH has 2 half siblings, one from each parents first marriage, and they don't match- one is a classic/timeless, one was popular at the time and his is popular now but almost completely unheard of when he was a kid. None of them were bothered by their names.