Using full names

[Puppypal20]

I regularly see on threads where posters tell the OP to use the full name on the bc as “it gives the child options when they are older”.

Am genuinely interested why people think this. A lot of the top baby names in recent years are all nicknames of longer names (Freddie, Charlie, Teddy, Tommy etc). Also if you wanted to give your child options surely it would be better to give them a few middle names so they could choose a name when they are older.

I just find it a bit strange to put a name down on the bc that the parents have no intention of using.

Giving a person more options? But that’s the same for everyone? My name is 3 letters, can’t be shortened but it’s a “full” name. What do you suggest I do? I have no options? This is my name ?

Both my DDs go by shortened versions of their names but they have the full names on the certificate, to me they are nicknames so wouldn't put them on their certificates, my eldest is never called her full name but it's still her name

We did this. I love the full version of the name I gave DS, but it's a bit of a mouthful and difficult for a very small person to spell, so we use a 3 letter shortened version. He's well aware what his full name is, like he knows my name isn't 'mummy' that's just what him and his siblings call me. He knows what his first name - middle name - surname is, one of those things we teach our DC, along with our names and our address, and their date of birth.

The child themselves may want to use their full name, parents and grandparents often do.

People who have nicknames based on a full name are often called by the full name because it is assumed to be correct.

The shortened versions on birth certificates is a silly fad and will die out, hopefully.

I always find this strange as there are many names that just don't have the option to shorten. Should those be avoided too? If you think the names sound unprofessional, then fair enough but in the future there will be plenty of professional Teddy's and Alfie's etc. as they're so popular now.

I also know some who's name is Daniel but goes by Danny. No one ever calls him Daniel, not even his mother and he hates being called Daniel and wishes he had just been called Danny. So it's not always true that the child will be glad to have options when they're older.

I have a short name, which people think is short for something (not but something like Ann & Annabel). I find it annoying when they use the long version as it is not my name. I don't think I missed out by not having a name that could be shortened to other names.

I'm in the middle. I really don't think someone is going to limited in their professional lives by being called Archie or Alfie. Trends are moving away from stuffy needless formalities in business it seems.

I also think some shortened names just sound so different and nicer than the original. I like Archie but I don't like Archibald. I think though for most names I would use the full name. Like others have said it gives the child more options and you don't know how they'll feel. I know Elizabeths and Stephanies who go by the full name or the shortened versions and a lot of the times it wasn't the parents doing in choosing what they go by.

I use my short name in real life and don't like people using the full name when speaking to me, but I use my entire full name (Firstname Middlename Surname) in a professional capacity and I think Shortname Middlename Surname sounds a lot worse. So I'm pleased I have it, personally.

Just out of interest @WizWoz what job then would you think was appropriate for a Teddy or Freddie
It’s not what I think is appropriate - what’s important is the opinion of the people who would never give their children those names. The gatekeepers, the business owners, the employers. I say this as someone who has been negatively affected throughout my life by having a “common” name. It makes it more difficult to escape being born into a poorer background. No matter how hard I work, my common name labels and identifies me. It’s well established that employers are less likely to even bother interviewing someone who has a lower class name or an ethnic minority name.

@jessstan1 my boys both have names considered on MN to be nicknames. Never once has anybody assumed their name is a completely different name. The longer version of both my sons names are quite popular too so not like they’re obscure and unknown.

@WizWoz, I think that it is not so much the name, but recruiters often have an idea of what sort of person they have in mind for the role, and will be prejudiced without being aware of it.

I've been in meeting when they've been talking about recruiting, and the potential candidate will be referred to as he if they are thinking of the candidate as male.

If I mention someone by profession, whoever I am talking to will often assume that my doctor/dentist/accountant/solicitor/project manager is a he when they are all female.

Unfortunately people are often prejudiced and I'd say that it is possible that a name that is hard to say or that suggests a different socio-economic background could go against you.

@WizWoz

Shortened names are overly familiar to be used in a professional context. I guess if you’re not expecting your child to be a professional then you can give them a shortened name on their birth certificate and it won’t matter.

Tbh I think that’s bullshit. A lawyer called Katie and a doctor called Beth for example, are totally reasonable.

SeanCailleach but it’s strange to me, in the example I know, the mum named the baby and immediately used the middle name...why wouldn’t you have you used it as a first name

It's a convention which acknowledges that nicknames/shortened versions are often given within families/close friends. It's a distinction I'm broadly happy with - I have a much bigger problem (not really, but relatively) with people who don't use the obvious shortening of their kid's names and always stick with Catherine, Sebastian, Alexander etc. I just find it a bit... cold really.

@jessstan1 but my point is if the parents don’t intend on using the full name then why would you use it. Of course if you plan on using the longer name then that’s what you should call them.

@WizWoz I get your point but many of these names are top 10/20 names and are normally far more popular than there longer name form. I feel that these names have become names in their own right. Yes unfortunately there are the Katie Hopkins of the world that judge class etc on names.

It's not just the Katie Hopkins though. I'd say it was most people.
Unless you have a very neutral name, people will make assumptions about you. Having a very 'white middle-class' name can go against you if someone has imagined you to be white and middle-class when you are not, and and vice versa.

If you see a name like Kim, Courtney, Ashley or Lindsay, you might expect them to be female but I have worked with men with those names.

Yes unfortunately there are the Katie Hopkins of the world that judge class etc on names
I don’t think it is just Katie Hopkins. It’s commonplace. I’ve walked into meetings as Dr C. Wizwoz and seen how people’s attitudes change when I tell them to call me Chardonnay (not my exact name but similar). The disrespect is obvious and my advice no longer carries weight.

The thing is, it is rather irrelevant what the parents are planning on naming you. You are the owner of your name, you get to decide what you are called and you can change it to whatever you prefer. I like longer names, as you can bend then to suit the situation. I have three versions of my name that I go by - the full length version, the childish nickname and the older "adult" nickname. Different groups in my life know me as different things. Nicknames are (hopefully) loving monikers given by those close to you, so that doesn't necessarily mean you'd want colleagues or clients using it (or knowing it!) as it diminishes its specialness. I also echo PPs that employers are not always unbiased when it comes to names. In fact in 2 interviews, I have had somewhat rude comments about the (old fashioned) spelling of my very traditional name (fortunately I can politely direct them towards some rather famous docks, named after a saint with the same spelling). But it makes me very aware of how you are judged on your name. I once met a very sweet girl named Honey. Her parents were lovely, but I cringed at the thought of the poor girl as a teenager, dealing with disgusting older men.

*parents planning on calling you. Obviously they will have to name you on your BC!

You get judged on all sorts of things.
I get judged on my appearance - people change their attitude when they know my qualifications, on my age (try working with grads in their early 20s who don't know that they don't know everything when you've been hired for your expertise).

I will admit to sometimes thinking 'What were his/her parents thinking?' when I learn someone's name.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers I changed my mind last minute and registered my daughter with the wrong name. So I can relate.

But when people say that it gives a child options, really a child has no opinion or input into their name, the only people that do are the parents, you only own the name once you have been given it.

I was talking about this to someone earlier. I can't stand, nor understand, why parents say 'I'm going to put her Elizabeth on the birth certificate but call her Eliza'. Why? WHY? Seriously, just put Eliza down. Why does she need other options? My name is X. I don't ever sit there thinking, 'I wish I had the name Y as an option'. I literally don't know any difference. Why would my parents need to complicate things?

My future child will be called 'Bob' (not actual name), because I like that name and that is what will be on the birth certificate.

I know grown up Andrews who prefer Andrew, some who are Andy and some who are Drew. Most of them have a strong preference. I’d always go with the full name so they have the options there.

Also, Iliad of people end up with different nicknames than they originally intended.

I think a more formal name should be used on official documents, then the person has the option to use the full name or a shortened version.
Our sons name has 2 common shortened versions. Personally I'm not keen on either shortened version, so we use his full name all the time, and insist his full name is always used, not either shortened option. On forms I've seen it lists full name, then preferred name. So that's where you'd put the name you wish to be used.
(Of course when he is old enough and can make his own decision, if he decides he wants to be known by either shortened version of his name then it will be his decision and I will respect that)