Giving our baby girl a name.... Help...

[amomtobe]

Hi everyone.
I am a mom to be, due in January and we are having a baby girl.
In the begining I shared a list with a close friend that doesnt live in my country (we see eachother twice a year). Anyway, I have decided in the begining of pregnancy to not share the list, but I was so excited, and I thought she was a person I could talk to because... I never thought she would want to have kids anyway. I began to tell her that I always thought to name my baby X, but since my other close friend chose that name for her baby almost 3 years ago (she knew I wanted but....hey, I don't own names...), I had to be open about other options. So I shared some I liked, some my husband liked and said but I probably will name her something simplier as "Y" or "P". "Anyway, "Y" is too common, and I don't want second names. And since I found out - then 3 days ago - It's a girl I've been, secretly, calling her "P". "Oh", she said, "I would get along with that very well, but since you have that "name-repetition-problem" (I didn't name X after my friend because I don't like to repeat names around me), I think it's fair for you to know that I always wanted that name in case I have a daughter in the future". "Ok, I'll kept that in mind", i said. She even added that "what would be important was to name whatever I like". And we never talked about it anymore. Anyway, "P" is the only name my husband and I agree on, even if we haven't finished the list. But I feel quite ressentful about that conversation like I couldn't truly name my daughter the names I do like. I feel like - as everything in my life - I put the others in front of me. Like I am undeserving. Anyway, in the last week I had problems sleeping and I feel very sad about this issue. I know I can be exageratting, but I need help, because I feel very low - and recently, I feel without a name I can't relate 100% with my daughter in my womb. Thanks.

Name your baby what you want. Job done.

Oh I can easily understand how this has become stressful for you. It’s the type of thing that would bother me and keep me awake also, especially if I was pregnant!

But I think you should absolutely choose the name you want. Put yourself and your baby first. You’re well within your rights!

It wasn’t very nice of your friend to say that to you.

Go with your name... there are so many uncertainties. She might not have children, she might not have a girl, she might change her mind on the name. And you might not even be friends by then!

Imagine how annoyed you would be that you’ve sacrificed your baby’s name in any of the scenarios above.

I’d say go for the name you want! She may never have a daughter or even by the time that happens she may prefer a different name. Don’t live your life going by what they want or don’t want. This is your life, your daughter and your partner likes the name too so go for the one you like.

I’d tell her that you’ve decided on that name do you’re not stressing about her reaction. I’m sure all will be fine. I wouldn’t expect a friend to keep a name clear that I’d said I liked.