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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Asked if I like the name...and I don’t! Advice?

31 replies

Heh1991 · 03/09/2020 01:23

A very good friend of mine is pregnant with a boy. Her and her partner have finally found a name they both like and have fallen in love with the name Vaughn. She has asked my thoughts and if I like it.

No offence to any Vaughns out there but it’s not my taste. Do I tell her? I’d normally be honest but I don’t have a reason to discourage the name just my own personal taste. I’m aware of how much difficulty her and her boyfriend have had finding a name they both like and how emotive names can be.

Help!

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Strokethefurrywall · 03/09/2020 01:27

Just say "I love it, it's so unusual!"
That's all!

FWIW I love the name Vaughn and was on the list for my mythical third DS!

Enough4me · 03/09/2020 01:29

One of my friends said a name I liked for DD made her think of horses. I was a bit put out, but this friend and I are blunt with each other and also supportive when we need it. I used the name!

Honestly I think you are better off saying things like "how did you pick it?", or "is it a family name?", or "he won't be confused on registers with two in the same class", rather than a full negative comment.

Tavannach · 03/09/2020 01:30

It's not your baby so you don't have to like it at all. Just say something like "That's so unusual - it's lovely." (It is lovely. To them.) By the time the baby's born they might have changed their minds. It's not awful. It'll grow on you as you get to know the baby.
Fingers crossed she's not on mn because it is unusual.

HeddaGarbled · 03/09/2020 01:31

It’s not awful, so I think you should just lie and say you like it.

Thisisnotnormal69 · 03/09/2020 01:33

Say it’s lovely and be done with it. It’s not an awful name and they’re obviously happy with it so no good can come of actually giving your opinion! This is one of those occasions when a little white lie is best!

TitsOutForHarambe · 03/09/2020 01:58

The fault is with your friend for asking, to be honest. I don't get why people do this. Names are very personal, just like interior design, fashion, food preferences etc. Totally pointless asking someone else if they like the name that you have chosen, and if it someone close to you then you are putting them in very awkward situation where they feel like they have to lie to you. Your friend should choose the name that she likes best and then go with it. It doesn't matter what other people think.

BusterGonad · 03/09/2020 02:03

Why can't you just say its nice, there's honestly and there's kindness to save someone's feelings. My friends have chosen what I class as boring names, I'd never dream of saying this to their faces. Just say it's nice.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/09/2020 02:23

I tend to say things like "Oh thats really unusual" but in a happy, upbeat way that makes it sound like a good thing. I personally prefer traditional names so I am not keen on it either. But I would talk about it enthusiastically that makes me sound like I like it without actually saying so!

They should have learned the MN rule of never tell anone the name until they are looking at the baby who has it!

ILoveStickers · 03/09/2020 06:29

I would just say something like, "That's great, I don't know any Vaughns, he'll be the first!" or "That's so cute!" (because it will be, it's a little cute baby) or "How did you choose it?"

Or the old standby, just say "lovely!" and move on!

micc · 03/09/2020 07:54

My best friend hates the name I'm choosing if my baby is a girl hahaha. She was literally like no I hate it. But she is really blunt, it bothered me a bit but now it really doesnt. She doesnt go on about hating it all the time, she just says it not her taste. But you literally cant please everyone. They must know that the name might split a crowd, it's not a common name. If you feel like she is sensitive.. lie hahaha. If not just be like, I dont think I'd use it but it sounds nice something like that. Once its here you wont be able to think of it as anything else and you will get used to it:)

Astronica · 03/09/2020 08:01

I think it would be hard to straight out lie and say you love it, so maybe something like, 'It's not my taste, but nothing wrong with it'. Could you try to find something honest that's positive to say about it, ie 'I do like short names', 'While it's not what I'd choose there's something quite distinctive about it which is good.' 'Oh, like Vince Vaughn the actor - he's rather nice'. Try to be light about it.

I've had family say to me 'What if you don't like the name we've chosen?' and I say back that even if I don't love it at first I'm sure it will really grow on me because I'll really love your baby.

Sausagedog1 · 03/09/2020 08:06

Just say it's nice, you don't want to take the joy out of it for her. It's so hard finding a name you both like and it's not like it's awful or a name that has some embarrassing connotation you need to warn her about.

Branleuse · 03/09/2020 08:14

give her the side eye and say "well its your kid I guess"

BeKindItCostsNothing · 03/09/2020 08:17

Vaughan is nice. I'm not keen on the Vaughn spelling.

I'd be honest and say it's not the first name you'd choose or that you'd need to get used to it.

SummerSummerSummertime · 03/09/2020 08:20

If you have been asked your opinion on this OP then surely you have answered by now? Or did you say, hold on whilst i check what everyone on mumsnet thinks,,,? 🤣

Crimblecrumble1990 · 03/09/2020 08:25

I can't stand it when people say they don't like baby names. I think it's just a bit hurtful and unnecessary but then again I don't understand why people ask for opinions! Everyone's different!

Just say something non committal, 'Oo I don't know any Vaughans, how did you come up with that'

BeKindItCostsNothing · 03/09/2020 09:35

The baby hasn't arrived yet, @Crimblecrumble1990, and OP's opinion was asked for.

Had they named a baby Vaughn and people didn't like it, then that's hurtful.

I'm normally a bit hmm! if I hear a name that is new to me but once I'm used to it it's usually quite nice.

Brighterthansunflowers · 03/09/2020 12:59

Generally speaking the only acceptable response irl is “that’s lovely”

Surely if she’s a close enough friend for you to consider telling the truth, she’s close enough that you can guess how she’ll react if you do?

I think closest I would get to the truth is saying that it wasn’t really my personal taste but I was glad that they’d found a name they love and I was looking forward to meeting little Vaughn

emmathedilemma · 03/09/2020 13:06

If you're browsing through the baby names book and generally rattling off lists of names to discuss then i think it's fine to voice your opinion. If she's chosen a name that they love then just be polite about it.

Soubriquet · 03/09/2020 13:10

“It’s not to my taste but I love it, go for it!”

Soubriquet · 03/09/2020 13:10

If you love it**

CatteStreet · 03/09/2020 13:16

She asked, and she's a 'very good friend'.

'Honestly? It's not to my taste. But what matters is that you have found a name you both like.'

(I do hope she doesn't come across this rather identifying thread)

whatausername · 03/09/2020 13:31

@Brighterthansunflowers

Generally speaking the only acceptable response irl is “that’s lovely”

Surely if she’s a close enough friend for you to consider telling the truth, she’s close enough that you can guess how she’ll react if you do?

I think closest I would get to the truth is saying that it wasn’t really my personal taste but I was glad that they’d found a name they love and I was looking forward to meeting little Vaughn

Excellent answer - I'd go with this but there's lot of other good advice on the thread too.

HerNameWasEliza · 03/09/2020 13:35

I think it's a mistake to ask people's opinions. Some people like popular names, some don't. Some people like old-fashioned names, some don't. It's incredibly rude of people to comment on names when their opinion is not asked (and plenty do, especially in my experience the parents of the trillions of george's, graces's and Mia's!). But it does put you in a bit of an awkward position that she's asked you. If she is a good friend then take her question at face value and say not really - but perhaps add that if she decides to call her child that anyway, you're sure you'll come to love the name. If shes not such a good friend, I'd be tempted to say it doesn't matter what you think and if she loves it, she should go for it.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/09/2020 13:41

She's asked your opinion so give it. Just say I'm not that keen but as you like it that s all that matters.

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