“Try hard”

[Orphlids]

I often see people on here describe names as “try hard”. What does this mean exactly? Thanks!

Some people in life do think they are so much more unique and special than everyone else and love trying to draw attention to how unbelievably different they think they are. Some do it by trying to throw as many niche music references into conversation regardless of audience, others try to name their children in a way that says 'look, I'm not like you other parents'. Though I'm sure you'll now claim that finding 'look at me' behaviour annoying means that nobody should ever have an interest or do anything different ever and deliberately refuse to see the difference between 'look at me' behaviour and people having a range of interests and getting on with life.

@LolaSmiles, yes, it's exactly that kind of passive-aggressive 'You think you're so SPESHUL' vibe you've epitomised that pervades these discussions about naming your children. It strikes me as being a sort of tall poppy syndrome thing.

Tell me, how exactly do you distinguish between people who've chosen an unusual name because it's a natural expression of who they are and hence OK, or because of 'look at me' behaviour? Do you have to meet Octavia's parents and interview them for niche musical references or equivalent to determine whether she's been named for reasons you deem acceptable?

@StuntPond it's a great name for a chicken

Too try hard, ‘chavvy’, pretentious, overused...you can’t win, so just pick something you like!

She was a beauty, @beautifulmonument -- alas, fell prey to a mink.

RIP Hendrix the chicken.

It's not tall poppy syndrome at all, though I'm sure that's what the 'look at me I'm so much more unique and special' people will think.
A bit like on the thread about people who insist on harmonising happy birthday at casual events think everyone is in awe of their musical talents when in reality most people aren't thinking anything of the sort, a 'look at me' person will often think any criticism of their attitude/behaviour is a sign that everyone must be jealous of them / want to bring their awesomeness down, or that everyone else is a sheep with no personality and wants their children to be wallflowers.

No interviews required on naming because 'I'm speshul look at me' types tend to reveal themselves.

I don't hang around with 'look at me' types because I find their endless need for admiration and their need to turn everything into the 'I'm so special' show to be draining and annoying.

That leaves me with people in my life who have a range of interests, range of talents and range of baby names.

Some names on here do sound like their very purpose is to have people comment "Ooh, how unusual!"

I only know one person in real life whose done something like this. All three sons have very unusual, Shakespearean names, which she refuses to shorten. She always looks a bit pissed off when the boys introduced to someone and she doesn't receive a comment about how special the names are. This I would describe as Try Hard. Neither she or her husband seem to like their own children's names, they just seem to like the IDEA of the names.

CaptainCorellisPangolin
I think some of the names on here have to be a wind up as I've taught in a range of schools, seen loads of different names and haven't come across half of some of the names that are on the baby boards.

Well, I am with you on the harmonising 'Happy Birthday' issue (and commented on that thread under a previous username), but I simply don't see how you can distinguish between an unusual name given for reasons you think are acceptable, and reasons you think are 'attention-seeking'.

You seem to be coming at it from the point of view of knowing the parents of the child with the name in question so you can figure out their motivation, which is why I asked about an interview. But what about when your child brings home little Octavia from school, along with little George, and you don't know their parents? Are you already making assumptions? Might not Octavia's parents be classicists, or devotees of US science fiction, rather than simply determined to stand out?

Sorry, that was to @LolaSmiles.

@bedjolly completely and utterly true, I promise you! Those poor children would be mid to late 20's now... I wonder what they have called their own children???

“I think it's when people select names to try and show how special and unique they think they are, but rather than going down the route of made up youneeek spellings, they select a name that they think will either make them sound oh so 'look at me' quirky, or it's a bit Hyacinth Bucket 'lady of the house'.“

Why shouldn’t people want to stand out? Do you think we should all be clones?

I can’t stand the painfully English snobbery around names.

StuntPond
Because as I've said, it's about the parents and their attitudes, and why I've said that social group etc would probably cause more variation on what ends up on someone's try hard list.

I don't see why going for try hard 'look at me' names should be viewed any differently to people choosing to signify their specialness through 'unique' spellings. Both are the parents using their child to signal something about themselves and to make themselves look oh so different.

Do you think we should all be clones?
Bingo!

A mum at DC's primary school had DSS called Armani and Gucci 🤢

A friend of mine has an Armani, adopted when she was 3. Great to know that in addition to all her other problems that little girl will get actual adult women being cunts about her name. Delightful.

@CarlottaValdez, whereas some actual adult women are just cunts.

I don't think that people choose those names to stand out or be different, because my social circle is full of children with the sort of names that MN would call "try-hard" (and also, for some reason, Alice) and it doesn't make them unusual, because it's absolutely normal and usual to have that sort of name. Mumsnet has some very odd rules on what is deemed acceptable, where it's only really OK to be named after royals, although Savannah, Eugenie and Louis still fail the Mumsnet test, and Beatrice is cutting it close.

@CarlottaValdez I take it that's aimed at me? Thanks for taking the time to type those words and wasting precious seconds of your life being foul mouthed about someone you don't know 😘

Individually I don't take issue with the names but naming them like that collectively it's akin to calling your children Triumph, Mercedes and Ford, somewhat less interesting and unusual..

@MikeUniformMike 👍🏼my thoughts exactly 👍🏼

I once taught a Tequila. She was 11, and already went by a different name, was shy and quiet and utterly mortified by her real name. She was in my form and I had to fight for her to have her preferred name on her report. Poor kid. Now that name may have been "a natural expression of who her parents are" but it was fucking cruel to the child herself. Names aren't for the parents, they are for the child.

I’ve seen someone recently announce their baby girls name as Soul. I also know someone who called their boy Storie. Things like these for me, trying to be unique and not proper traditional names.

So I’m a cunt for defending a 3 year old’ name? Ok.

Perhaps if you were less abusive and foul mouthed then you wouldn't get your own words thrown back at you @CarlottaValdez

Suggest you name change to "Car-LottaFagina" 💐

I would more align 'try hard' names with hipster type parents. Hendrix, to me, is the ultimate try hard name. But I kinda like it so who knows what that says about me...

I’m not bothered about a stranger calling me a cunt really and you seem quite dumb anyway (Armani is not even close to a try hard name, it’s the opposite if anything).

I definitely overreacted though, I just feel so sorry for this girl and her mum. I’ve literally seen people make a face when they hear her name.

I love Octavia, don't think it's try hard at all. The baby in Margaret Drabble's The Millstone has this name.