Can you overcome associations with a name?

[lls1990]

Hello

I posted the other day but me and DH are still no closer to finding a boy's name we love. We decided to scrap all the names we had previously as we couldn't compromise on any of those and start a new list.

He suggested Oscar and I automatically said no but when he questioned why it is purely because being a teacher for over a decade I automatically seem to discard a lot of names. In particular, over the last 4 years, I've taught a handful of Oscar's who have been challenging (especially one and his parents made my life a misery for a year and they have continued to for every other poor teacher to have their son too!) which has put me off.

DH said if that's my only concern then I shouldn't worry as when he is born he will become the only Oscar I think about and any other associations I have with the name will be over ruled.

Part of me think he's right but I don't want to name him something and always have that in the back on my mind. Am I just over thinking this?

I think with some names, the association is so strong they will always be a no go. Tbh with thst story, Oscar would be one of them for me. You're DH is right though, they will become the only one of importance and you steadily forget the assications. Until the next one comes along in class. But that goes with the job when you are a teacher/coach etc.

I say, be more open. Look at names and their meanings and find something special to you and your wee family. Good luck!

so many spelling errors! Sorry op haha

I'm a teacher too, and so many boys names are off the table for this exact reason and I'll never consider them.

If the other Oscar is still in the school, you will be reminded. If he has already left, I would use it.

I named my DS with a naughty boy name but also intelligent and tbh he is very active and has ants in his pants and does do naughty things and is a escape artist, so I'm literally dreading the terrible twos stage but I love it as it sits with his personality and wouldn't have it the other way round. My cousin is a teacher and she gave me a list of names to avoid as they were challenging pupils and I always thought it was down to poor parenting but somehow it is true. My DH also has a naughty boys name but intelligent in school if focused correctly and tbh he is now very successful, hard working, determined, sensible and still has ants in his pants. Obviously I don't know what the future may hold for my DS but it's nice to have a bit of colour in our family as I come from a very well behaved but mundane family and will teach my DS to be respectful and considerate and he does have very good role models in his family.

Thank you 😊

I think I am over thinking. The more I say it, the more I like it. Plus @GirlCalledJames the most challenging Oscar is now in High school so you're right. I think I just need to let those memories go! I'm planning on staying in the career a long time so it's likely that any name I use I will come across a child with that name at some point and every child is an individual. I'm sure I'll come across some nice Oscars too soon 😊 I think Oscar is on the list now, thanks everyone!

@lls1990 I understand totally where you are coming from - I’m a teacher and sometimes those names you just can’t shake due to the association. Remember that those children were so significant while they were in your class for that year or so but your child will be significant forever.
Oscar is a lovely name and he will be your Oscar, try not to rule out something you love.

Oscar is a lovely name and I agree the associations will go
Austin is a similar ish alternative but I'd stick with Oscar

@Whatsyourflava thank you 😊 I suggested that one but was just met by endless Austin Powers quotes by DH so that's off the list now!

I think associations like that, a student you taught, a casual acquaintance, etc will definitely fade into the background once your child has the name. So if you like Oscar, definitely don't worry about it always being that other kid at the back of your mind.

I think where associations never really fade is when they are strong cultural ones that others in society would share, Adolf being the most obvious example.

Would your dh apply the same logic to names he dislikes too?

I wouldn't be able to get past the association you've mentioned, OP. Names can have very strong associations and I don't think you're overthinking at all. It would be back to the drawing board for me.

Unfortunately when you teach you do get names that you would never use as you associate them with certain characters.

For me I wouldn't be able to use Bradley, Hayden, Wayne, Ryan, Kai to name a few.

Austin is a similar ish alternative but I'd stick with Oscar

This made me smile - I've never known an awful Oscar but I've known an Austin who was a real pain!

Don't feel pressured into a name you have negative associations with - there's a risk the associations won't fade.

I couldn't name a child the name of a school bully for example. Some very ordinary names have been spoiled for me this way. Same with names of people I just don't like. I met an awful teenager when I was a teenager who has a name which is now quite popular and I couldn't use that name as he's the only one I've ever met and he was awful. It might be different if I knew 10 people with said name and 9 were lovely.

DH is the same and has vetoed a name I liked as he was once worked for an awful person with that name and has never met another. I was happy to take it off the list.

No, I couldn't get past the association. Particularly in your case - imagine if you meet the tricky Oscar's mum when you're out with your baby and she thinks you've named him after her son. I wouldn't want that. I also work in a school and naming my son was challenging - there were many names vetoed, not just because of associations with the more "lively" of our pupils, but I just didn't want anyone thinking I'd named my baby after them. I chose an uncommon but not out there name, there had been one in school but he'd graduated a few years previously and we haven't had another since.