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Using a name similar to DH's ex

14 replies

MissHoney85 · 28/07/2020 13:06

So I've always loved the name Joseph for a boy. When I suggested it to my DH he liked it, until I stupidly pointed out that it's quite similar to his ex wife's name, Jo. They divorced a couple of years before we became an item, not on particularly bad terms but it was obviously a painful time for him. They didn't have any kids so are no longer really in contact and he's obviously now very grateful that things worked out the way they did!

Do you think this association is something I could push him to get over or should I drop it? Tbh I prefer the full name Joseph to the abbreviation Joe anyway, though I guess it's inevitable that he would get called Joe eventually. We are struggling to agree on any other boy names!

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Bobbiepin · 28/07/2020 13:11

Drop it. Joseph will be shortened to Joe whether you like it or not. Find a name you both agree on.

Heh1991 · 28/07/2020 13:12

The Joe nickname is inevitable so I guess it’s a case of seeing how much it bothers you both- you could always nickname him Joey or JJ or something yourself to try and avoid the Joe nickname.

Had your DH realised the connection before you pointed it out? It may bother him less than it does you.

MissHoney85 · 28/07/2020 13:14

@Heh1991 he didn't notice it until I pointed it out, but then immediately ruled it out once I had! I guess he'd have realised at some point anyway.

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Rosesarereds · 28/07/2020 13:14

Joe is inevitable. Sounds exactly like Jo. I wouldn't

Passtherioja · 28/07/2020 13:21

This will bother him forever, just chose another name.

elfran · 28/07/2020 13:49

Joe isn't inevitable if you push another nickname, but probably is if you stick to a hardline "no nickname" policy. Personally, I love Jos for a nn for Joseph.

That being said, I'm not saying you should push this with your DH - maybe if you like another nn idea you could run that by him and see how he feels, but if it's a no go, I'd drop it.

FWIW we have a similar issue, except the name we like is my OWN middle name, so we definitely have a case for using it, but it also has a tenuous link to his ex which gives us pause.

NameChange84 · 28/07/2020 13:53

There was a thread on here recently about a woman who was convinced that her ex had named his new baby after her as there was only one letter difference.

I’d probably use Joseph as a middle name with Joe being such a common shortening and it being an ex-wife’s name.

Such a shame as I agree it’s a lovely name!

MissHoney85 · 28/07/2020 14:02

You're all correct of course, I just need to move on from Joseph! The right name is out there somewhere...

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NameChange84 · 28/07/2020 14:15

It is a lovely name Sad

Names I like that I feel have a similar vibe are;

Stefan/Stephan
Samuel
Jude
Jedediah
Nathaniel
Daniel
Elijah
Tristan
Christopher
Lucas
Joshua

Can you think what it is about the sound of the name that you like? Is the the J, or the Oh or the Seph? Is it that it’s Biblical? I’m sure someone here would be able to help with good suggestions for you.

Ariela · 28/07/2020 14:29

If you called him eg Joseph James Honey85 then you could almost insist on JJ as the nickname

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/07/2020 14:30

I love 'Joe' and suggested it even though it's an exBF's name. DH didn't like it but I don't see an issue.

Whatsyourflava · 28/07/2020 15:17

Joseph is a lovely name

I find the name Samuel has a similar feel with nn Sam? I love it anyway

Whatsyourflava · 28/07/2020 15:17

How about Seth? Sounds a bit like Joseph but without the Joe part

BeMorePacific · 28/07/2020 15:22

@MrsTerryPratchett I was the same. My ex is called Joseph. But I wouldn’t have considered him. It’s just a name we like x

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