Nicknames for children

[EmmaRay]

My DH has a rule that nobody shortens our DD’s name (Ophelia), which is a thing his family has always done, but many of my family and our friends have shortened it to Fifi and I think it’s quite adorable. How would I go about trying to convince him to allow it as he gets quite angry when people do so.

You tell him to get over it! You can’t control this kind of stuff once she goes to school etc.
I’m choosing a name for DD2 and I’m ruling out names I don’t like the shortening off, because inevitably it will happen.

He needs to get over it. It will inevitably be shortened by friends when she goes to school. I know there are some people who refuse to shorten their names, but they are definitely in the minority. I assume she is only young, so she will decide as she gets older. It’s her name not his.

Cross posted with @OnlyFoolsnMothers!

Ophelia is easy to say. Personally I wouldn't shorten it as it's a beautiful name.

But if someone calls her Offie or Feefee, that's ok to imo.

Your dd will soon be old enough to decide for herself.

He gets quite angry? That sounds a bit worrying

It’s just kind of like a family tradition for them and I don’t want it to seem like I don’t respect it

I think it'll come down to your DD and if SHE decides she likes being called a nickname (very likely to be bestowed by friends in school, as others have said) in future. He needs to understand that it's her name now to do with what she likes, not his to own or control.

Honestly if he's really against nicknames Ophelia seems a strange choice to begin with - it's four syllables long, almost sure to get shortened at some point!

If it's just your family and friends that call her Fifi, what's the harm? Tell him his family can continue to call her what they like and he has to stop trying to control what others do (so long as your daughter herself is ok with it).

Ophelia seems a strange choice to begin with - it's four syllables long,

I think it's a beautiful name that's easy to say. I say it in 3 syllables like Oph eel ya.

My name and my dd's are both 3 syllables long but also easy to say so we rarely shorten them!

There is little he can do but thole it. And please, let's not hare if down an alley with 'is he always so controlling' etc.

His family can do as they like, as can yours.

He won't be able to stop anyone doing it as when she goes to school friends and teachers will end up shortening it.

He has to just deal with it!

There's only so much control parents can have over shortening of names. If he really didn't want other people to shorten his children's names he should have picked names which would be hard to shorten, like Mary or Ruth.

I mentioned on your AIBU thread that my Mam's family don't shorten names, or use any nicknames either. My Dad calls my Mam a shortened version of her name, and shortens mine too in front of them. Mam also shortens my name in the same way. Her parents and siblings will never call Mam and I the short versions, but they don't try and stop others from using them.

My school friends called me a different shortening of my name to the ones my parents use. My parents don't like that shortening as much and don't use it but they have never tried to stop people using it, or told me I should insist on the family shortening.

I said this on someone else's post, your partner would hate me!! I literally find it so hard not to shorten someone's name, every sophie I know I call them soph within a few days of meeting them. It's quite natural, it's going to be hard for him to control that at school.
My names Isobel, I had friends at school called Lydia and Elizabeth and we all decided we wanted to be called Deedee and for a while people called all three of us that!!!!
Fifi is super cute, I also think it will be her decision. My friend Elizabeth now introduces her self as such and wants people to call her the full name as she now prefers it to Lizzie.
It will be hard from him to control... beautiful name by the way :)

Eventually it will be up to your dc anyway he'll need to relax about it. My eldest is always known as his full name at home (his choice) his friends and teachers often shorten it but he doesn't like it.
My sibling has always been known at home by his full name but by friends he's known by a shorter name. His choice.