Siblings where 1 has unusual, other has popular name

[grumpypreggers]

DD1 has quite an unusual name (602nd most popular in the year she was born). Currently expecting DD2 and I'm going off the unusual name we liked for her. The only other ones we can agree on are top 10/ top 20 names. So what I'm wondering is whether it would be strange to have 1 child with an unusual name and 1 with a popular name? Would the child with the unusual name feel a bit miffed or vice versa? My brother and I both have really bog standard children of the 80s names but think if he had something a bit more exciting maybe I'd be annoyed...

Can you give the unusual name as a middle name, that way, the child can be known as that/change it if they wish?

Your DD2 may well become jealous of her sister's less common name.

I'd continue looking for a lovely special name for DD2.

Your DD2 may well become jealous of her sister's less common name

Or the other way around. I have an unusual name (more popular now but practically unheard of when I was growing up) and my sibling had a "normal" name. I hated having a name that made me stand out and wanted to be called Louise or Sarah like half the girls in my class were.

This isn't strange at all, I know lots of siblings like this. To me, it's a non issue.

It's not a big deal but I'd be a little jealous if my sister had a more unusual/individual name than me.

My sister and I are like this and we'd both much rather have the other name

@Pippilangstrumpfi this is what I'm thinking but time's running out! Hoping inspiration strikes me soon...or that DH relents with some of my other unusual suggestions that he's previously vetoed 🤞🏼

Just pick a name that you like. It’s impossible to predict how they may feel about their name in the future.

@GoGold we're already set on middle name (family name)

In my family the girls got unusual ones while my brother's both have very normal names. We never even noticed it until we were grown up!

Don't do it. Me and my sibling have one common / one unusual name. Common names are a nightmare as you're easily muddled up with other people.

I have 2 siblings with very common names, and mine is pretty common, but one sibling has a very unusual name.

She got lots and lots of comments growing up - lots of questions about it, lots of people asking her what her siblings were called (obviously expecting other unusual names), lots of people commenting that her name is unusual.

Now as it happens she’s an extrovert who loves to chat and loves attention, so that’s never been a bother for her.

However one of the others is shy, feels “picked on” very easily, generally a sensitive soul. Even our parents have commented that it’s a good thing she didn’t get the unusual name as it would have really bothered her.

So....not sure that’s helpful advice really. It depends on your child’s personality, which you can’t predict!

Personally I find one really common and one really unusual name a bit odd, especially if they’re the same gender. It feels a bit like the “interesting” name got used up!

One of my DDs has an extremely rare name (approx 10babies a year) but sounds very similar to a top 10 name, which the majority of people presume she has (until they see it written down- it's not made up, it's a Scottish name) The other has a name down in the hundreds on the charts. Neither has ever commented on the popularity of their names.

Its very easy to overthink these things.

I once knew a family with one child with a very unusual name and the others with veyr straight names - John, Paul etc.

The unusual name was Hermione, and she was about 5 when the first Harry Potter came out

My 3 all have recognisable but not very common names, but one of them is short for longer name which is unknown in UK (form dh's country). I loved it, but we only used it as it had an obvious 'British' shortening which made it easy.

I was reading this wondering how I would feel it if I were one of the siblings - and then I realised that I have a very popular name and my sister has a much more unusual name.
I'm in my 40s and it has never impacted or bothered either of us - to the extent that I didn't even notice.
It's just my name and her name 😊😊

I would probably try and find a more unusual name. Not the same thing but I wasn’t given a middle name but my older brother was, I was always so upset as a child!!

It's not weird at all, I think the concept of sibling names having to be part of a "set" is a bit odd to be honest, altho obviously each to their own (fine to do, I just wouldn't discount a name I liked because of it).

One of my dc has a top-15 or so name and the other nearly never used. I've hardly met any other kids with the popular name, maybe one or two but none in their classes / groups which have several Dylans, Arlos, Floras and Astrids...(all lovely btw, just you'd think less common but I come across them more than i'd expect! )

Better use unusual for both to avoid sibling jealousy (or 'common' for both but I guess too late for that).

I’d have been upset too Gara!

I think it depends how unusual/common and also if it is a similar feel in terms of plain/fancy.

Ellie and Ludovica or Claire and Scheherezade for example you really notice it but if it’s more like Jessica and Cordelia or Kate and Arwen I think it would be fine.

Don't do it. Me and my sibling have one common / one unusual name. Common names are a nightmare as you're easily muddled up with other people.

This. It's a pain having to add your surname initials etc. Not only in school but throughout life.

if it’s more like Jessica and Cordelia or Kate and Arwen I think it would be fine.

Wouldn't most of us prefer to be Cordelia or Arwen? I know sooo many Jessicas and Kates.

My DC have this, sort of. DS1 has a classic type name, think James or Ben. DS2 has a surname type name that is hated on MN, like Fletcher or Dexter.

It doesn't bother them.

I gave my first an unusual name, it’s now moderately popular

My second an unusual name, which is now very common

Things change

Choose a name you like, don’t go by popularity or specialness as these things change!

My name is known, but very unusual for my age. There was 1 other in all 5 schools in 3 countries I went to. DSis is 3 years younger and has a top 3 nabes from her year of birth. Actually don’t know the stats, but they were everywhere - 8 in her year at secondary, 3 in her class at primary. I was soooo envious. I really wanted a name that was not constantly questioned or remarked upon, more common for my age*, and could be found on mugs and key rings etc. I was annoyed that I didn’t have a bog standard name. I probably wouldn’t have minded if DSis also had an unusual name, but her name setnrd to give her a huge advantage in how she was perceived.

I don’t think it’s advisable to hace a discrepancy in the unusualness of sibling names.

• when I was 20 my student house got burgled. I rang the police to report it. They didn’t ask my age, but sent round an Age Concern support officer anyway as they assumed I was in my 80s or so.

I have this! Ds1 is about 26th or something in popularity and ds2 is about 560th. They are both quite similar in sound though - 2 syllables, start with a vowel - so they "go together" quite well in that respect.