Using the ‘less obvious’ nickname

[BadAlice]

We’ve picked a name for DD (first time I’ve typed that, weird!) and part of it is that I am very keen on one nickname over another. However, it’s not the nickname you would immediately shorten it to IYSWIM.

Imagine Tori over Vicky (Victoria), Cesca over Frankie (Francesca), Nelly over Penny (Penelope) etc.

It’s also traditionally a male name in the same vein as Teddy and Bobbie for example.

I guess I’m just looking for reassurance that this is going to work!

Why are you thinking about nicknames? If you are choosing a name you like why not simply use that name?

Nicknames tend to be organic and never what you imagine before they're born! I wouldn't worry.

I have a DD with a nickname like that (Charlie, Robbie, Glen etc). It's fine. She is always introduced as her full name but I use the nn around others and those who see her regularly (family, friends and nursery) pick up on it and use it when appropriate. She answers to Charlotte, Roberta or Glenis equally though and always has since being tiny. We sing a goodnight song that includes all our Sunday names which helped cement that for her I think but little kids are really very adaptable and clever that way.

@mdh2020 It’s a three syllable, old fashioned name and I guess I’d find it quite weird to call a baby ’Frederick’ or ’Vivian’. DS is also known by something different to what’s on his birth certificate.

Less obvious nicknames are not ones given but ones that arise organically, often from some quirk or feature of your child.

It will! My son has always been known by his NN. It isn’t the most obvious shortening of his name.
Most people don’t realise it isn’t his name.
xxx

It will work if you say the nickname is the baby’s name and put the longer one on the birth certificate.

Agree with Linda. If you just introduce them as the nickname then they’ll be known as that. Use the longer name occasionally if you want to too, like when telling dc off!. I only discovered that a friend had a longer version of her name on her bc very recently.

Mumsnet is weird over nicknames, I think it helps if you call them "shortenings" to stop the comments over you can't give a nickname before they're born spiel.

I've given my son a non standard shortening. It's fine. Tho it is the name we use 90% of the time.

Why can't you call her by her full name? I have a 3 syllable name I'm pretty much always called by.

Nicknames tend to be organic and never what you imagine before they're born! I wouldn't worry.

I agree

If you’re going to introduce people to the baby by the shortened name then that’s what people will call them. I know an Alexander that has been Xander since he was a baby rather than Alex. His parents had planned to shorten to Alex but it just happened naturally as that’s what his siblings called him (being toddlers and unable to pronounce his full name). Now he only goes by Xander - no one has ever called him Alex. He wouldn’t even answer to it.

When his daughter was born he sent a text round to the family to say she had been born that said something along the lines of ‘welcome to the world Amelia (Mia) Lastname’ so we all knew that’s what they planned to call her rather than the full name and that’s what we all call her

Like Margaret, but you want her known as Greta not Maggie? Just introduce her as 'this is Greta,' or 'This is my daughter, her full name is Margaret but we all call her Greta'.

They'll be known by what they've been introduced as. I've worked with a Tori before. She never used Victoria and it didn't appear on any paperwork

It's bizarre to choose a name purely on the nickname it suggests . Name your child what you want them to be called, nicknames are bestowed by other people and are out of your control.

Dh uses the unusual shortening of his name, he introduces himself as the short name otherwise everyone calls him by the more common short version.

When you introduce her just say 'this is Tor' then if people say 'Victoria?' You can say 'Yes but we use Tor'. It will be fine. Family will hear you using the abbreviated name and probably follow suit.

Why wouldn’t you just use the name you put on the birth certificate?
I never understand this need to shorten a perfectly reasonable name.

Friend is a Victoria known as Tori and also have an Alexander known as Xander

@Thisismytimetoshine

It's bizarre to choose a name purely on the nickname it suggests . Name your child what you want them to be called, nicknames are bestowed by other people and are out of your control.

I think there is a subtle difference between real nicknames and shortened or informal versions of names. A nickname is the teenager called Lanky by his mates because he's short or Docker because she likes Doc Marten boots.

Calling you daughter Nicola but using Nicky day to day isn't quite the same thing; its an accepted typical informal form of the name and not really something that arises 'organically'. I have a son whose name is shortened; I chose Ben as the shortened version we use because I cannot stand Benny. That was my choice. Now he's a teen and never called Benny; however his mates call him "Eggy" in relation to some in joke amongst themselves. That's the difference to me. Nothing wrong with giving a long name Benjamin and calling him Ben by choice. Eggy has emerged on its own (and not used by family).

I know several children who go by their nicknames as thats how their parents introduced them. It’s absolutely fine.

Yeah just introduce them as the shortened version and you’ll be fine. (I’m an Elizabeth who has gone by Beth rather than Liz all my life)

At nursery and school they have on the forms "Full name"
And another question, what your child will be "known as".

I think it's odd that people choose a name and then decide on a nickname - particularly if other people don't use the nickname they've chosen. Just call her what you want and don't stress over it

I'd be a bit wary of giving a masculine nn unless the use is quite mainstream.

I can think of a couple of Stevies, a Bobbie (short for something not Roberta) and a Billie (Wilhelmina). The Stevies are Stevie and Stevie-Leigh not Stephanie. I know a Stephanie who is Steph.
I know 2 Antonias - Toni and Annie.

I know 4 Philippas - they are 2 Phils, Flip(per) and Pippa.
I know a few Nic(k)(y)s.

If it's something like Theodora or Leonora known as Theo or Leo, or Harriet known as Harry/Harri, I'd say no. It looks like you wanted a boy. The boys' names are too popular.