Why does it matter what the other child is called?!

[applecrumbs]

Seeing lots of posts of ppl asking what name "goes with" the name of their other child/ren.

Surely you name an individual, it's not a pair of guinea pigs! This child is going to go off and go to school, uni, work, whatever and no one is going to care what their sibling is called or how well it goes together. Seems very narcissistic parenting to me, am I the only one?

Testing the origin of names with others is also sensible - so siblings Harry and Henry could be avoided for example.

I actually knew brothers called Neil and Deneil

There was a recent thread about the names Holly and Jessica and everyone pointed out that it reminded them of the Ian Huntley case - whereas if you said just Jessica or just Holly that would be much less likely. Generally I think “goes with” can be interpreted as “doesn’t inadvertently make a horrible pairing like Sam and Ella or Fred and Rose”.
Having said that, some people say if I like x, what else will I like - and I can never really see how the suggestions “go with” the original name, so maybe I’m just not cut out for this board!

I know a family with names along the lines of Lee, Leah, Leanne and Jane.
Poor Jane always got called Lejane, asked if she was a mistake or if she was adopted.

I agree that there's no reason why you can't have an unexpected combination of you want to, but I think quite a lot of people instinctively prefer names that have vaguely the same "feel" without being overtly matchy. My internal rules are:

Both about the same amount common/unusual

Both about the same length (I wouldn't count letters or syllables, but not Maximilian and Lee!)

Both have the option of shortening/pet forms or neither do (but I broke that rule myself - DS2's name is already traditionally a pet form of another name)

Mustn't begin with the same letter (first names) or rhyme

Mustn't be versions of the same name in different languages

Mustn't both have exactly the same meaning (which is not the same as the point above - think something like Hannah and Grace)

But I have known lots of siblings with names that seemed odd combinations to me, and they were perfectly nice people. It's just not something I would do.

The famous mumsnet triplets, Faith, Hope and Kevin might be old enough to disagree with you by now.

I have 3 kids. When I say their names 1,2,3 it sounds fine. But when I say 1 and 3 it's like a tongue twister should have thought it through!

I have 3 dc. All in the bible(1 obliquely) and all with an internal s sound. Very thematic but honestly not intentional.
I sadly lost dc4 but his name deliberately followed the pattern so he wouldn't feel left out.

As someone with a less common name (that is spelt unusually as well) and with two sisters with traditional names - I did always wish I was called something a little more traditional. Both of my parents have traditional names too, so I just 'stick out' in the family a little. It's not a major issue, but I would have preferred to fit in a bit more...