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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Dont like my sons name

20 replies

SEJQ · 07/05/2020 08:30

Hi, im new to this community so please bear with me on this. My son (first child) is 4 months old and his name is Ellis but ever since I came out of hospital the day after he was born, ive not liked the name me and my boyfriend picked. The name Ellis was a last minute choice because my boyfriend decided at the last minute that he didnt like the first choice we had so when he suggested the name Ellis shortly after he was born, I felt pressured to agree (partly because i wasnt thinking straight from the amount of gas and air i had and partly because i didnt want to drag out the discussion of names because we went through a lot of names while i was pregnant and couldnt agree on many of them). The main problem i have with the name is that his surname begins with S, and the first name ending in S along with the beginning of the surname is something i always said i didnt want because personally it doesnt sound right to me. The other problem i have is that because the name had never been mentioned all the way through pregnancy, (it was a name that my boyfriends friend suggested) i dont feel like there is much meaning to the name because it wasnt one that we had picked together. The name Ellis is a nice name but just not the one i wanted for my son and I feel bad about not liking it but my boyfriend is certain that we cant change his name now because he's been registered and everyone knows him by the name Ellis so discussing it with him is impossible. The name is growing on me because obviously at the end of the day he's my son and i love him to pieces but this issue has been on my mind for 4 months and its not getting any better. I thought it was just baby blues at first but its still on my mind today and I dont know how to make myself feel better/happy with the choice i made so i was hoping that talking to like minded people would help. I was wondering if anyone else has ever suffered with this problem and how they got around it?

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hotstepper4 · 07/05/2020 08:34

Change it! He's only 4 months old, he won't have a clue. It's so important that you are happy with the name. My son is called Alistair. Some people said it was a strange choice and that he'd resent it because he'll never find his name in a gift shop, and while that's true, his name is just HIM now, he is Alistair and he couldn't be anything else.

If your sons name just doesn't feel like him, change it! Deed poll isn't that expensive. Do you have any ideas? Elliott is nice and not too dissimilar to Ellis

Mumma4262 · 07/05/2020 08:41

I have an Ellis, I think it’s an absolutely gorgeous choice for your son. But if you really aren’t happy with it you will need to explain to your partner why you feel this way. He is 4 months, so it wouldn’t be the end of the world to change.

My Ellis was going to be called a different name throughout my pregnancy but once he was born he just didn’t suit the original name. (Half way through my pregnancy I was swaying more towards Ellis but still thought we would call him the original name).

I love both the names equally but he is just an Ellis, it suits him. It could get to a point for you where you can’t imagine him called anything else. Do you feel like he is more suited to your original name choice?

For what it’s worth we get so many compliments for his name.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

BrokenBrit · 07/05/2020 08:42

I think it’s a gorgeous name. However if you don’t like it he is certainly young enough to change it to something you love.

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe · 07/05/2020 08:49

You can easily change his BC up until he’s one.
People will adapt.

babycakes1010 · 07/05/2020 08:59

I love the name Ellis and wanted ds2 to have that as his first name tho my dh wasn't keen so went for Frankie instead with Ellis as his middle name

LouLouLoo · 07/05/2020 09:01

You can still change it. My friend changed her name in her 30s, it’s really not a problem.

MonaChopsis · 07/05/2020 09:14

Ellis is a lovely name OP, but if it's not the right one then it's still easy to change.

Just a heads up, though... Name anxiety is one of the symptoms of PND. Just check in with yourself about how you are feeling in general, whether this might be a symptom rather than a cause, and get support if you need it xx

Whatsyourflava · 07/05/2020 09:17

Ellis is one of my very very favourite names I love it so much but I understand you're not so sure

Do you have a very clear idea of what name you'd change it to? Calling a 4 month old baby any adult name can feel a bit weird so I'd be nervous about changing it only to discover you feel equally unsure about a new name

What name are you thinking of? I'll re read your post to check if you've said

Queenoftheashes · 07/05/2020 09:18

It was gold enough for Emily bronte!

Queenoftheashes · 07/05/2020 09:18

Good enough even

Whatsyourflava · 07/05/2020 09:18

If your boyfriend won't agree to a new name it could be difficult. Does the official form ask for both parents to sign to change the name? I'm not sure so am asking.

AJPTaylor · 07/05/2020 09:26

There's a reason it's easy to change a child's name up to a year after they are born!

peperethecat · 07/05/2020 09:41

It is possible to change it, but I'm not sure you can at this point if your boyfriend doesn't cooperate.

peperethecat · 07/05/2020 09:42

By the way, it's really not cool of your boyfriend to have pressured you into a different name to the one you had agreed, especially if your son has his surname.

Whatsyourflava · 07/05/2020 09:49

@SEJQ been thinking about you still and wanted to add that a name might not feel special at first (you say it was a mate that randomly suggested it), but that specialness will definitely grow with time, because it's your child's name and you'll connect it with their personality and uniqueness. It's sort of becomes irrelevant how you came up with it. The vast majority of names don't have a deep meaning or connection to the couple.

Having said that, what name were you wanting originally and why? Is that the name you still want now?

Fiflowertot · 07/05/2020 09:54

Talk to your boyfriend about it, he’ll understand. Naming your child is a big thing! Took me weeks to name my 2nd I just wanted it to be right.
It’s easy to change before their first birthday!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/05/2020 11:38

It's all very well people saying "It's a lovely name". You've got to like it, though.
Id say change it. Before he starts to recognise his name. He'll never remember being called Ellis. The family will soon adapt. You have up until he's a year old, whereby you can get a brand new BC.

chunkycoke · 07/05/2020 11:40

It’ll be easy to change, even on his BC. I’d change it!

ShellsandSand · 07/05/2020 11:41

I changed my DD name a week before she turned 1. It was so easy and everyone adapted really well.

Sally872 · 07/05/2020 11:45

Your partner may not want to change but not being possible or everyone knowing him as Ellis are not reasons why.

I think it is fairer to find something you both like.

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