Baby name & heartbreak/confusion

[vitajana]

I’m pregnant with a girl found out by private scan before my boyfriends mother passed away. When we found out decided her name would be Opal after his mum. His mum has since passed away really horribly back home where his family are from in Nigeria. My boyfriend had a complete breakdown, split up with me was hospitalised it’s been awful. I’ve just been focusing on her and wanting every detail sorted because everything else has been so bad. I’ve been really driving myself mad over her name. I don’t know if it’s the right thing using Opal if as we’re now no longer together it’s not the right thing for me to use that name. But I don’t want to go back on our decision to name her Opal. I’m so confused and lost without him and getting mixed messages from my family/friends. My mum suggested June Opal. June is my nan’s name and originally it was going to be Opal June but I don’t know. Help would be appreciated thank you so much I’m just lost, upset and trying to sort everything before 15th September comes. I know it’s plenty of time but I’m just driving myself mad over analysing thank you

The idea from @CoffeeBeansGalore is brilliant - use his surname as a middle name.

I also think Juno is a brilliant way to combine both names, so Juno Hissurname Yoursurname sounds like a perfect compromise.

OP, do not register your baby in partner's surname until you are married. Mark my words- you will regret it. Give your DD your short Italian surname and any first name YOU WANT. He has left you pregnant. Why are you even considering giving this baby his surname?

I don't think you need to decide now, OP.

Maybe just focus on reducing stress as much as possible for the rest of your pregnancy and supporting your boyfriend/ex-boyfriend to the extent that you can. This is a very recent trauma and a lot can happen between now and September.

I would wait until nearer the time and then hopefully you will be in a better place to discuss it with him.

If September comes around and you still can't talk to him about this, use Opal as a first or middle name, whatever you prefer. For the surname you can either double-barrel or you could give her both surnames separately, with his surname as a second middle name and yours as the official surname. This would make it easier for you when travelling abroad.

So, June Opal Hisname-Yourname, or June Opal Hisname Yourname.