Baby name help

[overandoverafail]

DH and MIL want to name our next DC Charlie, regardless of whether it is a boy or girl as that was A relative of theirs name.

I HATE the name Charlie. Every other kid at DC1 school is called Charlie and I can name over 10 Charlie's of different ages that I know without even trying.

I don't want to completely dismiss DH and have been trying to think of names that could loosely be shortened /have the nickname Charlie without it being their given name.

We don't know the sex yet so am looking at girl and boys names.

Any suggestions?

Charlotte
Caroline

Cameron

Oh no :(, if you really hate it then you can't and shouldn't use it. If you don't love it for a first name but don't really truly hate it then perhaps compromise and have it as a middle name?

Is it C name suggestions you'd like?

Why does your MIL have any say in your child's naming..?

If you hate the name Charlie that much why would you want your child to have it as a nickname?

I'm sorry but DH should respect your wishes and you should find a new name together.

MIL should do one.

MIL needs to mind her own business. This will be YOUR child, not hers.

I hate the name Charlie too. It is another word for idiot. I would simply put my foot down and dismiss it completely. Forget the nickname. You wouldn’t expect your DH to accept something he absolutely hated, so it’s absolutely reasonable for you to rule it out completely. MIL is rude to even verbalise her hopes for a name.

But Charles (an obvious choice) is very nice, and not commonly used. Charlton, Chester. Charity for a girl? Good luck.

Yuck

You need to find a name both you and your DH like - and your MIL should have absolutely no say in the matter (make sure your husband is clear on that!).

I don't like the name Charlie but would be willing to have it as a middle name in this situation. Would that be an option instead?

Firstly, your MIL doesn't get a say.

Secondly, as you dislike the name Charlie (so do I) you exercise your veto.

Thirdly, you and your DH (absolutely not your MIL) have to agree. So back to the drawing board.

I'm not going to suggest any because you don't want it for a nickname either. Take your power back.

Your compromise here is to use it as a middle name.
Some ideas
Alexander Charles
Isaac Charlie
Benjamin Charles
Thomas Charlie

Jessica Charlotte
Imogen Charlotte
Lucy charlotte
Harriet Charlotte
Faye Charlotte

Even if you use the name Chester or Charlotte as a first name your dh and mil will just use Charlie anyway.

MIL doesn't get a say. Make that very clear to DH now.

You don't like Charlie so use your veto. Normally I'd suggest the middle name compromise but I worry that DH or MIL will just call baby Charlie anyway.

You and DH need to find a name you both love. Failing that a name you both like and failing that a name you can both live with. One of you doesn't get to impose a name on the other.

Apparently it's something DH and MIL have had planned since DH was a child and it's mean of me to veto the idea 🤔

Aww diddums. Well, given THEY are neither carrying it or birthing it they can sod off. MIL has had her turn to name a child. Quite honestly, your H is a turd for involving his mum and trying to force you into this (yes, force).

@overandoverafail

Apparently it's something DH and MIL have had planned since DH was a child

Tough shit. MIL is not the one carrying and giving birth to the baby. She is irrelevant in this issue. As for hubby, well the fact he seems to care more about pleasing MIL than you should be a massive alarm bell.

OP this is your baby, if you cave and agree to a name you hate you will regret it forever. MIL sounds like an overbearing nightmare, this usually only gets worse once the baby arrives - you need to set very clear boundaries right now.

I kind of hope he isn't your birthing partner in case he takes advantage and tells the midwives the baby is named Charlie whilst you're still not fully yourself or in control. Although if he does that you've got wider problems!

Best of luck OP. Stand your ground and read your H the riot act for involving your MIL like this.

She's already told other family members the baby will be named Charlie regardless of girl or boy. I just have a really irrational hatred for the name

I’d have a hatred of a name being foisted on me too!

Tell them both to bugger off. Planned it since childhood? That’s weird as fuck quite frankly and not your problem.

Then they're in for a surprise, aren't they?

Let's see if we can help you find a name. What have you considered so far?

P.s. MIL might have told the family but I assume you speak to them at times. No reason you can't mention how MIL has been joking (or draconianly insisting) that the baby will be called Charlie and how she'll be in for a surprise.

Yeah, that little boy did not plan the baby name. His mother planted the seed and nurtured that idea in him for a long time.

Do you like the PILs under other circumstances? Or is this weird controlling behaviour not just about names? If the former, maybe tell them you are happy to have Charlie as a middle name and say it in a way that makes it clear this is final and not for discussion. And tell all other family members to please NOT call your baby Charlie. If the latter, then those inlaws are better off kept at a very safe distance and given very little involvement in you lives.

Wow, is she always this controlling?

Put your foot down or this will set the precedent that she gets to have a say in big decisions about YOUR child.

I also wouldn’t use it as a middle name, as it just legitimises her using that name instead