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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

choosing ex girlfriends name

21 replies

WonderfulAngel · 30/12/2019 15:41

has anyone noticed its not that uncommon for men to want to call their daughter the same name as an ex girlfriend? has anyone ever found out a few years down the line that their daughter is called the same as a husbands ex girlfriend? how did they feel about it?

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ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 30/12/2019 15:43

I know one lad who did this beyond werid , the ex he was with for 7 years and lost his virginity to. She was as baffled as we were.

baubled · 30/12/2019 15:47

My current DP kept trying to throw my ex's name in when we were thinking of boys names for our DS, no chance would I have used it, it's just weird!

Original poster

WonderfulAngel · 30/12/2019 15:47

im wondering if its a conscious thing or not, is it just the name was buzzing around someones head and they weren't aware of it?

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Original poster

WonderfulAngel · 30/12/2019 15:49

@baubled maybe he was testing you out to see if you'd agree

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OhHolyNightWaking · 30/12/2019 15:49

Yep! I know of this. Someone I know has given their daughter the same name as an ex girlfriend. Not exactly the same but think if the ex was called Katherine but went by Katie and the daughter is called Katy.
I thought it was a bit weird but it was a short relationship (although ended badly) so maybe he didn't even consider her as a factor, and his wife may well not know. A bit different if it was the name of a significant ex IMO. I guess as long as they both like the name it's hurting no one.

Legomanships · 30/12/2019 15:50

We are expecting twins in June and my husband loves a boys name which is an ex of mine, it doesn’t bother me either way...but I’m a bit worried people will think I’ve named them after an ex! I don’t think it would bother me if my H liked a girls name of an ex to be honest, but I’m aware other people would possibly find it weird

baubled · 30/12/2019 15:53

@WonderfulAngel true, I just said that would be weird and never really took him on. He did turn out to be fairly horrible when I was pregnant so it would have been intentional in some way!

Original poster

WonderfulAngel · 30/12/2019 15:57

@OhHolyNightWaking funnily enough 'Katie' is one of the cases I was thinking of although from what you say not the same people. others have been Ruth, Sonia, Megan and an unsuspecting Alexander who was brought up catholic but named after a one night stand his mum had with someone called Ali

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Original poster

WonderfulAngel · 30/12/2019 15:58

@baubled possibly trying to engineer a situation he could later hold against you

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ladycarlotta · 30/12/2019 16:14

actually an ex's name was on my list! To be fair, the ex went mostly by their middle name so I didn't have strong associations, but their family did use that first name at home. I actually didn't even make the connection for quite a while, and it had no bearing on my eventually choosing something else.

Most names are pretty generic and don't belong to any one person. It's not always a sinister thing. Might be that the parent just has vague positive associations with the name.

Lazydaisydaydream · 30/12/2019 16:16

My ex has the same name as my grandad. Would love to have honoured my grandad by using it as a middle name but it just felt too weird! Regret it a bit, I bet no-one would have made the connection with ex boyfriend or would have cared.

Frenchw1fe · 30/12/2019 16:17

Always baffled me that Ross was married to Emily and then Rachel and Ross called their baby Emma.

Ninkanink · 30/12/2019 16:19

I think a lot of these men have absolutely no imagination. Like they don’t have the intellectual capability to actually come up with anything on their own, so they just ‘borrow’ from what they already know. You get it with things like wedding venues (in the unlikely event that the groom gets to pick), or holiday destinations/hotels with the new gf or OW.

Original poster

WonderfulAngel · 30/12/2019 16:23

@Nink I think youre right! it explains a lot, the woman who told me her DH wanted Megan said it was an ex but also he was in to cars ands suspected the Renault Megane (its almost 30 yrs ago) was a contributing factor too!

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Thefaceofboe · 31/12/2019 18:40

I think it depends on if it’s an unusual name. My ex is Ben which is common but I love the name Benjamin and it wouldn’t put me off

nowaypose · 02/01/2020 13:26

I have honestly never heard of this and I think it would be extremely weird.

speakfriendandenter · 02/01/2020 13:35

I loved a particular girl's name & had done since I was young. However, it was the same as an ex of DH, so he wouldn't entertain it. It didn't bother me at all but it made him uncomfortable so we didn't use it.

N3V3R3V3R · 02/01/2020 13:39

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Littlefoxy · 03/01/2020 06:31

My ex has a beautiful name which DP & I both love but it’s so unusual that there’d be no avoiding everyone making the link. And my instinct is that everyone would find it weird & insensitive so it’s a no go.

BethanyGilbert · 03/01/2020 08:03

I really loved Kate as a middle name but DH had a ONS with a girl we both knew called Kate so that was a no go. Neither of us have seen her in about seven years though.

bluemoon2468 · 03/01/2020 10:24

@Frenchw1fe yes! I can't watch the episode of friends where Emma's born without thinking that!

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