Spelling of name

[BabloHoney]

I have a gorgeous baby boy who’s 4 weeks old. The name we’ve chosen has two recognised spellings, we went with the less common one. I’ve already I’ve noticed people are spelling it the more common way and I’m now wondering if I’ve doomed him to a lifetime of always having to correct people how to spell his name!
Am just interested in opinions - when names have different spellings, is it always best to go with the more recognised one? Or is it not really a problem, should we just stick with the spelling that we prefer?

Go with the spelling you prefer. My name is very uncommon and my mum chose a spelling no one has. It does annoy me sometimes having to correct people but I'm more use to it now.

OP - is it Jaxon / Jackson?

If you have chosen the more unusual spelling then you will spend time correcting / informing people. It's your decision ultimately.

Stick with the one you chose.

DS2 has a name which has the usual spelling. People spell it wrongly with a different spelling all the time.

Ithink it depends in the name and if the second spelling is a modern addition to the ways of spelling it that people are unfamiliar with

It depends on what's important to you. How much does it matter to you that you (and he) will need to correct people? I have used a less common spelling for one of my kids and they're now an adult and like their spelling. I still prefer the spelling we chose too.

Also, my name is very popular and is spelt the usual way but people still get it wrong, so I wonder if it doesn't really matter in the end.

If you like the less used spelling more and are prepared to correct people then that's the way to go.

We have this with DS2 (15 months) - we went with Caspar over Casper (as IMO Caspar is the 'correct' spelling) but people always spell it -er (including DH half the time...)

Part of me wishes we had gone with '-er' for the sake of an easier life, but then I have a slightly less common spelling of a common name myself (eg Kathryn rather than Katherine), and I actually quite like it (and it doesn't bother me having to correct people)

It depends on the name and the spelling. If it's super rare then I think you've made life harder for him for no reason. For example if you're an Amy and spelling it Aimee that's just such a faff.

Can you share the name for more honest opinions?

You can't win either way. My name is Rachel. Half the time I get things addressed to Rachael. This used to particularly annoy me when I was on FB as my name is RIGHT THERE.
Stick with the one you love. There are multiple spellings of most names.

I have a very traditional name that has multiple spellings but there is a common spelling. I don’t have the common spelling. My mum picked that spelling for various reasons.

Yes, I’ve spent my life having my name incorrectly spelt. Even when I have responded to an email with my name spelt how I spell it, people will respond with the common spelling. It’s infuriating but it’s not worth changing how you want it spelt.

I've been with DH 20 years (married 15 tomorrow). FIL & his wife still spell my name wrong. Occasionally they call me by a different name altogether.

@Chillisauceboss I worked with an Amie. She was forever spelling here out for people.
I also used to know a Ceit (Kate). I loved the spelling. My DH outright vetoed it for that reason.

It depends on the name really. Something like Steven/Stephen I don't think you should change it.

I would always choose the most usual spelling. Life’s tough enough without having to correct people every time they write your name down! Remember that family and friends will learn, eventually, but once he’s grown up, he’ll be meeting new people all the time who won’t know.

Full disclosure- I am called Kate- short for Cathleen. I spelled it Cate for ages, but eventually gave up and changed to to Kate. It did make life easier!

@highheelsandwitcheshats I think this is when it annoys me most, when they have seen my name written down on Facebook or email and still spell it wrong. I don’t mind the people who have never met me before. I mind the people who have met me and have my Facebook right there. My FIL cannot spell my name for love nor money and he says it not a big deal. Except it’s like me calling him Mick instead of Mike. It’s not how you want to be known. Included in this though is people who will call me by my husband’s surname when I didn’t change my name. Again, it’s right there in the name on Facebook. Some people are just deliberately obtuse (which might also apply to my FIL).

Although, with people changing their name on Facebook to be more private (teachers, police officers) I’m not always sure if someone has an uncommon spelling or is deliberately hiding. My friend’s partner spelt his name on Facebook really weirdly (police) so I had to ask her how he spelt his name.

I have a Lily and people are constantly writing it as Lilly or Lillie. Even family who have been corrected (she's 6 now!)

I did it with my son and regret it.

There were alternative spellings for each of his 3 names. First name, I used the unusual one. Middle name was his father's and had traditional spelling and our surname has an 'e' on the end which is much less common. Poor kid was forever correcting people.

Plus, a minor thing but it bothered him as a kid - he could never get anything in a gift shop with his name on.

Thanks so much for the replies.. reading with interest!

His name is Conor (a name that doesn’t go down too well on these boards, so I wasn’t sure whether to share it)

I prefer the Irish one “n” spelling.. although we are English, I have Irish family. But already a lot of people are spelling it “Connor” - as Dandelion says, even people I have already corrected!

Conor is fine. Often the misspelling online will be autocorrect, which will obviously default to the more common version. They'll learn eventually, but he will always have to tell people how to spell it. It's not the worst thing. I have a surname with two very common versions so I always have to specify. You get used to it.

That's fien, and if someone needs to write it down as he says it "Conor with one n" is pretty easy

I would go with the usual spelling. Conor looks like you might pronounce it 'Cone or'. It looks like it may have accidentally been misspelt (when it hasn't.)

To me though Conor is the usual spelling (Irish background.)

I have the less common spelling of a common name(it's not Ja(y)ne but similar. I'm used to people not spelling it correctly. Usually people ask, but in informal day to day matters it washes over me, though I get annoyed if people I know well spell it wrong. My aunt spelt it wrong recently and I'm like ''WTF! She's known me over 50 years!'

I much prefer the 'correct', traditional Irish spelling that you have decided to use, Conor. It's so much nicer, and it's a lovely name. In Ireland it's almost always spelled that way, Connor is normally a surname.

Ignore any negative comments about it that you might read on here - ignorant comments about Irish names really get my goat.

Unfortunately you will have to expect that English people will assume that it's spelled Connor, all the time, so it depends whether you can put up with that or not.

I would probably go for Connor

My son has a name that can be spelt a couple of ways validly. We always have to say e.g. Graeme, yes spelt G R A E M E. People still put Graham.(It's not that name but similar situation). Having said that I have a really simple surname, and people always want to stick an extra vowel in. And my first name can only be spelt one way, and I still have to spell out out! Again people want to add an extra consonant.

Conor is fine.