Second thoughts - what do I do?

[MoonageDaydreamz]

Gave birth this week to a baby boy. Dh and I struggled massively to find common ground in a name we agreed on, but eventually settled on a name we both liked (but wasn't either of our favourites). Decision was probably a bit rushed as we got more or less up to the due date without reaching a consensus.

Having announced the name, I'm now having second thoughts. My parents obviously don't like it (which shouldn't matter but I guess I am influenced by that), and people are confused about pronunciation. I guess overall response from everyone is a bit luke warm.

I don't know... I guess I just don't love it (like I do my DDs name) and I can't seem to connect the name with my baby somehow, so end up just calling him baby, and pet names.

There was another name we both did like but chose the other one as we both preferred it (at the time) but now I wonder whether we should have gone with it instead.

So I don't know, it will really cause a spanner in the works if I suggest to dh changing it, he really won't want to.

So do I live with it a bit longer and see whether this is just hormones or do we discuss changing it now given that the earlier we change the less the impact will be?

By the way middle name is a family name, so not a name we would choose to use as an alternative.

PS, it's too outing for me to say what the name is so please don't ask! There's nothing wrong with the name and it's not particularly polarising, I just don't feel convinced.

Sorry that's long...

Also should say that name is not registered yet so haven't got a birth certificate with the chosen name yet.

I know you said to not ask the name and you obviously don't have to tell anyone but if you wanted an unbiased opinion (as much as possible) on the name then this would be the place.

If you are not happy with it though you have time to change. In all honesty if you did change people wouldn't really remember the original name

It's not too late to change but without the make and what it might be changed too it's hard to say.

Name not make

Thanks Iam, the name gets a good reaction on the baby names section of this site, it doesn't seem to polarise, but there are different interpretations on how to pronounce it, which have been borne out in real life when we have told people (I guess I should have realised this would bother me more).

So it's not that I think it's a bad name, it's more I just don't really identify my baby with it and the pronunciation thing bothers me as well.

I'd consider changing it. Talk to your husband. It's definitely not too late - people change it after registration, so consider doing it now before registration to make it easier. Other people will cope just fine. And trust your instincts.

Have you got an alternative to change it to? Took me years to realise what I wish DC2 was called, too late by then.

Change it.

Do you have an alternative you prefer?

We changed DS2 after two days, so had done the official announcement on social media but most people hadn't met him yet. His first name just didn't feel or sound right! We literally announced it again on social media and no one remembers now (though his red book has the original crossed out!) Talk to DH!

If you have not yet registered him then now is the ideal time to speak up & make a decision. It's an important one & you dont want to regret it later.

Personally I would never go with a name that had different pronunciations and even spellings as it means they are forever explaining & repeating themselves. I've been married a year & my new surname is unusual & I repeat & spell regularly which is annoying - I'd find it so much worse if it was my first name as that is used/said more often

Use the other name that you liked. Or call him Nathaniel. :)

Can’t really advise unless you could give more hints on the names

My nephew was Freddy for two days but now he's Albert and 18 years old. No one remembers and he's so an Albert!

Change it, or you will probably regret it.

Change it. But make sure you LOVE the new a,e otherwise the minute you change it you will start wondering if you've made a mistake.

But it's not too late at all.

Why does it matter what the name is? The point is not whether it’s a good name, but the fact it’s not sticking for his parent(s).

OP, he’s only a few days old. If on reflection you both think you prefer another name, change it now (before people start sending him blankets with his name embroidered, etc). No harm done. But make sure it’s really your decision, and you’re not doubting yourself to please others.

And congratulations!

Thanks all, appreciate your responses.

I am going to bite the bullet and talk to him tomorrow, not an easy conversation to have but it's just hanging over me now.

As the name isn't registered yet I think you should change it to the other name. I don't think the name will grow on you if it doesn't feel right and you're avoiding using it.

Good idea OP to talk to dh about changing - he may feel the same way.

You have time if he isn't registered. My dh's name was changed when he was approx. a month old because it didn't 'suit' him. We have had loads of problems over the years as bank account and official docs are in his actual, original name, it's a real pain. It also raises eyebrows.

Depends on the name. These threads are annoying when the name can’t/won’t be given. How on earth is anyone supposed to know whether you should change it or not if you won’t say what it is?