Name problems

[Sarapq2]

Hi
Me and my hubby been trying for a baby for a while now , and we were talking names but this morning on way to work he said we can’t use his dads name as his sister has used it and she said no it could be a shorter version of it .
As a family there is no love lost between us but this has really annoyed me .
The name has always been my choice for a boy even before I met my hubby and I’m angry that she thinks she can dictate to me what I the baby .

What's the name/what kind of names do you like, could you use it as a middle name instead??
If your not pregnant, you may have changed your mind about the name by the time you are

I’ve wanted the name James Edward since I was 19 so a long time ,
It’s the fact that she has said I can’t use it .

we can’t use his dads name as his sister has used it and she said no it could be a shorter version of it .

I don’t think it’s you’re DH’s sister’s place at all to make demands about your baby’s name. I’ve got the same name as my cousin - I don’t see the big deal

I don’t want to cause any more tension but I know what she like and I see a hissy fit coming up

So your baby would be named the same as his cousin? Would they see each other often or not?

So? Let her have a hissy fit. Big deal. It'll affect her more than you, let her stew in her intense misery. Btw THREE 'stolen' name dramas in a week? Maybe OP is genuine but we aren't half getting trolled somewhere else 😛

Call your baby Edward James instead simples 👍🏻

Well she doesn't get a say about your baby's name, but I do think it's weird to use the same name as a niece or nephew in a small family. I wouldn't be impressed if my sister did it.

Similarly, your DH does get a say. Maybe he doesn't want to use a family name, or have a row with his sister, or name his son after his father.

If I have my way they will never see each other and to the person commenting that I’m trolling I’m not

If it’s possible they won’t see each other then use the name but that’s a huge if surely?

If you have your way they'll never see each other????? Wow I think possible future baby names is the very least of your problems

So that would mean your in-laws would have two grandchildren called James Edward? Am I getting this right?

*Parent-in-laws I meant

They would have two grand kids called James

Why don't you have Edward James. I can see why it might not be a good idea for first cousins to have the first name but sh ecant stop you if you really want it.
However honestly I wouldn't worry about this until you know you are pregnant and expecting a boy. You might only have girls and you have been worrying about nothing. Or you might have a boy but change your mind about names. People's tastes often change between naming a possible future baby and naming an actual baby.

I’ve been treated like crap by them , he or she will have enough cousins etc

Are you NC with them?

I’m guessing that means not communicating
I’m civil to them but that as far as it goes

I’d crack on if I were you. The kids would only be cousins after all...I never ever see my cousins

Op I wouldn't get stressed over. You might have all girls. You might see him and decide he looks like an Edward. Or you'll find something else or not.

The thing is it isn't your baby alone to name, it should be a compromise between you and DHso how did he feel about it before his sister used it?

NC means no contact so yes you’re right. I think if you were NC then it would be a non issue to name your baby James but as you are in contact and they are cousins it would be a tad strange.

But nobody owns a name and if your partner agrees then if you feel that strongly then use it.

Are you also nc with your in-laws? As if not the baby will not get called james by them id bet. They'd create a name from it, jim, jamie, baby james.... to differentiate.

I’m guessing that means not communicating I’m civil to them but that as far as it goes

But what about your husband? I know some people are NC with their in-laws or family for very good reason, but most people just do their best to rub along together. If your husband has any relationship with his family he'll want his children to as well.

You wanted to use that name before you married. Now you've met someone whose family already has that name twice. Ho hum. Now you can't use it and can pick a name together with your husband.

Just call him what you like and ignore her.

SIL just called her new ds a virtually identical name to my ds - think Luke/Lucas. My reaction was bemusement “Why did she do that?” But aside from being a bit confusing for the grandparents, and at our twice yearly big family get togethers, it really isn’t an issue. At all.

James is an ugly wet name.