We can't agree on a babies name. What do we do?

[alltummy]

Hi. Has anyone disagreed with your dp about baby names. Our baby boy is due in 5 weeks and we are literally no further forward. What can we do? We have totally different ideas on names and there is no middle ground. Has anyone been in this situation and how did you resolve it? Thanks

Both write a list. Both choose 3 from the other’s list they can live with. Pull 1 out of a hat. It honestly doesn’t matter that much- the child will be that name in no time.

My husband and I couldn’t agree. Basically every name I said he said no and didn’t provide any sensible suggestions himself. I ended up making a list of about 15 names that I liked and would be happy with any of them. He thought 3 of them were ok and we went from there. We narrowed it down to 1 name after a couple of weeks and are both happy with it.

What’s the main differences between you and DH @alltummy - eg does one of you like more traditional names? One of you like more modern names?

We got one of those massive baby name books and each went through and ticked the ones we liked. Only one was ticked by both so that is DS' name.

Can you give us examples of the types of names you like and the ones your DH likes?

Thumb wrestle, rock paper scissor or coin toss.

Ha, I asked my DH very nicely just after the birth whether we could have the name I loved since I was 11. He happily said yes after seeing what I had to go through!

My DD is called Liliana after lots of disagreements! I wanted Violet and my partner wanted Paige (hate Paige!) But be also hated violet. I wanted Violet so much I could of cried but he wouldn’t budge. After him suggesting Lily which I find a bit common near us we agreed to Liliana however I now call her Lily, oopps
Now pregnant but don’t know the sex - can’t wait for it all to start again!

We couldn't agree on a name but after 20 hours of labour and an EMCS, he let me have whatever I wanted! He now loves the name and we both agree she could never have been called anything else.

Usually when they see the work you put in during labour they want to give you the world. That's when you swoop in with the name of your choice.

A longer name with different short name possibilities.

Have you tried namedtogether.com?

You need to keep looking if you don't both like a name. Dc2 got his name a few hours before I went into labour.

I wouldn’t rely on your dh giving in on giving birth.

DP eh? Easy - if baby is having his surname, you get to choose the first name, within reason (nothing he hates, you make a list of say 10 he could live with and YOU choose from that).

Or - baby gets your surname and you pull a name out of a hat.

He got to choose the surname. I got to choose the first name. Family name for middle. Done.

We had the same trouble with our first. So we wrote all the possible names on pieces of paper and put them into a small bag. A few days after she was born, we dampened her hand ( OK I licked her hand) and put it into the bag. The name which stuck to her hand was her name, then we did it again for her middle name. This was so successful that we did it with DS as well. So we can tell people "they chose their own names".

We had this!

We had an agreed shortlist of names we were both ok with, for each sex, (didn't know till she arrived that she was a girl). I then picked my favourite of the boy list and he picked his favourite of the girl list. You could do similar, but obviously just one list and decide together.

We did the same with dc2 who was a boy only I got to pick as dh had his turn the first time round.

We have ended up with names for our dcs which are not our favourite names in the world but that we both like. I think aiming for a name you both love equally is rarely going to be achievable.

You keep trying until you find something you can agree on.

Look at your lists, is there anything that's close in 'feel' or has similar nicknames?

A friend of ours, her DH couldn't stand any of the names on her list and was difficult until she made him phsyically write his list down. Looking at it, he'd put "Elle/Ellie" on his list. She had "Eloise" and "Eleanor" on hers, after pointing out that Ellie was a nickname for both, they agreed on Eloise, to be known as Ellie. and the only person who calls her Ellie rather than Eloise is her Dad

Write down your lists, perhaps start another thread on here with them both and we might have some ideas that fit both 'styles'.

If you're not married it's not his choice, technically speaking.

We both just wrote a list, picked out names that we both had and then chose from there.

I just begged after the birth

Friends of ours made a list each of names that they loved, then had to select a handful from the other they could live with but it didn't work, though it got them to see some patterns that they didn't like in each others names.

Then they went through the top 100 list and idenfied any they thought were nice but not their perfect name. The name came from that "ok" list.

There were a bunch of names on my list DS very strongly vetoed and I gave those up as non-starters. There were two names he was more neutral about, so I pitched them over and over and over until I wore him down and he agreed to one of them .

DS ended up called Owen and it suits him perfectly.

DH got the last name so I got the first name.

My parents disagreed on names when I was born. Mum wanted names in order of N. H. and my Dad wanted H. N. My mum got her way and I am N. to her and everyone but my Dad. He calls me H. When DH and I were trying to agree a name for DD2 I made very sure that we actually were in agreement