Extra middle name for 2nd child..

[mhck]

We have a 2 yo boy and I gave birth to a little girl at the start of August. Our boy has one middle name. My husband has his eyes on two middle names for our daughter. Our son wasnt named after anyone, we gave him names we liked. One of the middle names we have in mind for our daughter is the name of a female friend who passed away. The second middle name is a bird's name which we think is pretty.
I like both middle names but I feel conflicted about giving our daughter an additional middle name and fear our son in time might feel disappointed for not getting a 2nd middle name himself. I therefore have a preference for giving our daughter one middle name to avoid any upset /feeling of being treated differently. My husband and some friends we have asked think it's not a big deal. Would you agree? Any thought very much appreciated!

My daughter has one middle name, my son has two.

I don't think it's an issue, my DH and his brother have 1 middle name and his sister has 2. It's no big deal really. You can always explain it in a child-friendly way when they are older.

Two of my kids have one middle name, two have two. They don't seem to care!

I have one middle name, my brother has two. I don’t think either of us have even given it a second thought, I certainly don’t feel hard done by.

I have several siblings, two don't have a middle name and I always thought it a bit odd and felt sorry for them. Completely illogical, I know, I don't think they were bothered. I doubt if your son will mind, especially given the reason for the second middle name.

I think you are over thinking the 2 v 1 thing. I have no middle name (and have never felt the loss, can’t see the point of one) but my siblings have one each.

I am really sorry you lost a friend, but I would never name a child after someone who died as a memorial to them, especially if they weren’t part of the child’s immediate family tree so a name passed down.

Children have the right to be just themselves, not named in memory of someone who was their parents ‘ friend.

It's a non issue. Me and my siblings have a mixture of one or two middle names, we do not care at all. Also one of my siblings has the name of a dear family friend who passed away as a middle name. Again it's a nice name and doesn't bother my sibling. Why can only dead family members be memorialised? I don't even like most of my family.

My daughter has 2 my son has 1 - neither of them mind

I was a second child and have two middle names, my older brother only had one. He couldn't give two shits about it as far as I can tell, he's 40 and has never mentioned it anyway.

both my boys have one middle name and my daughter has two. i didn’t plan for her to have two but she was born on remembrance day so we decided to add poppy in there too. my boys are both old enough to realise that she has an extra name and they’ve never even mentioned it. i really don’t think it’s a big deal.

If at a later date your son wants an extra middle name then just let him have one.

My eldest siblings have one middle name, me and my next older sibling have two. Middle sibling has completely dropped her second middle name (it is very unusual), older two siblings seem perfectly happy with their names, I've never heard them complain. Personally I'd prefer to just have the one middle names as it's a bit long on forms and often you can only use one initial which annoys me as I don't like being identified as Firstname Firstinitial Surname because that's not me (I usually drop both middle names when this is an option instead).

Not an issue. Your children will have the same types of names (first and second names that you just liked) except you happen to have lost a special female friend so you are honouring her. Your son will perfectly understand that you hadn't also lost a close male friend who you needed to honour. Also, he came first so it's not like you were looking for someone to name him after to match your daughter iyswim

Non issue.

Ds1 has one, ds2 and ds3 have two, I don’t think any of them have noticed, and if they did they wouldn’t care.

One of my sons has 2 middle names, the other has one - never really occurred to me that it would be a problem. Neither of them have ever commented on it one way or the other.

My son doesn't care that his siblings have 2 middle names compared to his one.

I don’t think it matters. My daughter has 2 middles names (after both grandmothers). Sons have one. They do not care.

Thanks so much for all your comments, it's made me feel positive about going for 2 middle names! Xx

@SockMachine I disagree. My daughter is named (in part) after a friend who died many years ago now. It's also a really beautiful name! She's still totally her own person but I think the link is special.

@mhck I don't think two middle names/one middle name is an issue either way, go for it!

Go for two!

My DS’s have two middle names, DD’s only have one. I don’t think my DD’s feel remotely disappointed about this. The only reason is my DS’s have their Grandfathers’ names as a middle name and then the second middle name is just a name I liked.