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Double barreling surname?

29 replies

PoppingOneOutIn2020 · 15/08/2019 22:06

Me and DP arent married, its something I want eventually now! but hes very settled and he said he will get married one day but is fine as we are, which is absolutely fair enough, no rush! But I cant shake the feeling that he just isn't marriage type. Hes happy as we are and says that often, he used to say marriage was just a peocee of paper and didnt really see the point. So I think he only says he will one day because he knows it's something I want.

But im 18 weeks pregnant now and im thinking if we never get married I would ideally like some form of name connection to our child..

I grew up with divorced parents and I always felt a little dampened by the fact I didnt share a name with my mum also.

So I'm thinking of talking about double barreling her name, is this reasonable?
Can it be changed to just my name when/if we eventually do get married? Is it easy enough?

I just dont know what to do but it makes me feel abit sad and if I'm honest a little but sick ag the thought of never having the same name as my baby :(

Am I just being silly?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
tripletmum8 · 16/08/2019 14:03

My kids had a double barrelled surname until we got married, step-daughter still has a double barrelled surname.

Carouselfish · 16/08/2019 14:06

For airport purposes I stuck my surname in as a middle rather than double barrelling as I wince a bit when hearing double barrells. Plus his surname was easier to spell. Also used it as bargaining chip to give me more weight when choosing DC's forenames!

GaraMedouar · 16/08/2019 14:12

Give the baby your surname.

MimiSunshine · 16/08/2019 15:03

You’re feelings are completely justified. A few things:

  1. Babies traditionally have their mothers surnames NOT their fathers. It just depended on whether their mothers were married as to what this was hence legitimacy/illegitimacy
  1. The baby will have your name automatically at birth as all it’s medical info will be registered as Baby YourSurname unless you change it or add HisSurname on.

I was in your position and I told DP that I wasn’t going to have a different surname to my baby so it was either mine or both.

We’re getting married next year.

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