This is an odd question but it's been on my mind. My husband and I have planned on having three kids total. We have a daughter already, and our second daughter is due very soon. Our last child will be a boy. We already know this because we had to harvest eggs and fertilize them before my husband had radiation and chemo several years ago.
This is dilemma. My mother was in a long-term relationship before she met my father. She and this man were absolutely head over heels in love with each other. Unfortunately the man developed a very aggressive cancer that was detected too late and he died. My mother spent a literal year of her life nursing him through his illness. He died and about six months later she met my dad and they eloped. Very unexpected, very sudden, as it had only been six months since the boyfriend died.
My parents have been very happy and married for nearly 40 years. I'm one of their youngest children. Mom never talks about the boyfriend who died. She mentioned him maybe four times total. He is her Jack Dawson. I've heard stories about them from other people.
I am in love with the name John. It's classic, it's clean, it goes well with our daughters' names. But, it's the name of the old boyfriend, the one who died forty years ago.
My husband also equally loves it. We're just not sure if it would be okay to name our future son John knowing that it's the name of the man my mother was going to marry before he got sick.
I haven't brought it up with her yet because it'll be a few years before we're even ready to use this last egg and have our son. Hell, I'm still pregnant with one kid!
Then there's my dad to consider. He's never begrudged my mother her love for this man he never knew. He's always understood something very tragic happened in my mother's life and that they wouldn't have ever met or married if this man hadn't died. He's never taken her for granted because of this fact. She's always loved him so much because she knows how easily he could be taken from her. I'm very happy to say that even now, in their 60s, their relationship is one of passion and love. They're an example I hope to follow.
What is the opinion then, on using the name when it has a different meaning for my mother, and to a lesser extent, my father, the man who almost wasn't?