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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Baby names

21 replies

Abbiegriffiths · 30/06/2019 12:49

Hi all .
I'm abbie I'm 17 and I'm 27 weeks pregnant with a little boy . I am with the farther still and plan to be and all is good between us .

I wanted to ask for a bit of general advice about baby names we both like the name Max but would just be max we don't like any of the extended names like maxwell or anything.

We are struggling with a middle name but also more importantly struggling with who's sure and to use and does lead to arguments when we talk about it . My boyfriends sure name is double barrelled so kind of rules out putting our sure names together he really wants it to be his sure name so he feel more involved as he's not gonna be able to be there that much at the start as for being in foster care which I can understand . But I really want it to be my sure name but he argues with me bc I don't have a " good enough" reason as I say that I just want it to be bc it just feels right .

Any sort of advice would be much appreciated .
TIA xx

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Paultrybudget · 30/06/2019 12:51

Your surname, 100%.

Original poster

Abbiegriffiths · 30/06/2019 12:52

Just realised everytime I went to put surname it out sure name . Sorry about that xx

OP posts:

TillyTheTiger · 30/06/2019 12:56

Definitely use your surname. You don't need to give him 'a good reason' - him telling you the baby needs to have his surname because he won't be able to be involved much isn't a good enough reason to use his!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/06/2019 13:05

A surname doesn’t involve u, being involved is being involved.
You will be your child’s primary career, travel with him, go to the drs with him- make your life easier and either use your name or use one of your bfs names to barrel it with yours.

Fatkins · 30/06/2019 13:11

Your surname definitely.

Max is lovely and fine on its own. I don't really like the long versions either!

userabcname · 30/06/2019 13:14

Your surname. Max is lovely! Perhaps as a compromise you could use your boyfriend's first name (or one of his surnames) as a middle name?

whatausername · 30/06/2019 13:15

You as the person who will be most involved in the child's care have the right to use your surname. If he does full-on 50/50 parenting with you for years and you want to change the baby's surname at a much later date then you can. But baby gets your surname for now. You don't need a good reason tbh, you are the mother. You don't owe him anything. And if he brings it up again just remind him that "with rights come responsibilities". He is not entitled to insist the baby has his name "unless you come up with a good reason". You're the mum - no reason required!!

whatausername · 30/06/2019 13:18

Also, if you two fall out and you try to change the baby's surname to yours later on it is a right pain in the arse without his consent. It's impossible unless you've ££££ for a lawyer and court. I know because I used to come across it at work. Mums could cry in front of me and all I could do was say sorry you're screwed. (But sensitively obv!)

Waterloosunsets · 30/06/2019 13:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ as requested by the OP.

Poppkitty90 · 30/06/2019 13:37

I would suggest using one of his surnames and double-barrelling it with yours. I think that’s fair

HJWT · 30/06/2019 13:52

Hun here is your reason.....

I am carrying the baby, I am delivering the baby, and I am going to be looking after the baby FULL time.

Then ask him why he thinks he deserves for the baby to have his surname, because by the looks of things he won't be helping much, your also very young I am not trying to judge you by the way I was young to but you might not be with him forever, if you were not together who's surname would you give the baby!?

HJWT · 30/06/2019 13:54

It will be much easier to change the baby's surname if you 2 get married and you take his name. It will be impossible to change it from his surname to yours if you split up...

DramaAlpaca · 30/06/2019 14:58

Max is nice.

I agree with other posters, give him your surname, with one of his first names or one of the surnames as a middle name.

99bb · 30/06/2019 15:18

Your surname. No question.

Icklepup · 30/06/2019 15:29

Your surname or yours and the first part of his

SemperIdem · 30/06/2019 15:36

Give the baby your surname. Max is a very nice name.

BlueMerchant · 30/06/2019 15:47

One of his surnames and put it with yours.
Although tbh I think just having yours would be best for now. You can always add his down the line.

Divgirl2 · 30/06/2019 16:42

Max DP surname 1 DP surname 2 Your surname.
So if DP is Jacob Rees Mogg, and you're Abbie Clancy the baby becomes Max Rees Mogg Clancy.

Original poster

Abbiegriffiths · 30/06/2019 17:15

Thank you everyone for your advice . It means a lot to me deffo given me more of a reason to fight my corner and make things fair 😊 you have all helped me a lot xx

OP posts:

Owlbert · 30/06/2019 20:49

Max is lovely! I would also use your surname, as others have said you can always change it later if you get married. Max goes well with lots of different names, play around with a few and see how you feel. Maybe make another post with your top few. Good luck!

Tillygetsit · 30/06/2019 23:22

I agree that it should be your surname. Why not use dps first name as a middle name for Max?

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