Dictating a nickname?

[ryanreynolds]

Getting close to due date now and no decision re names!!

My preferred boys name has a traditional version and a number of shortened forms.

I much prefer one shortened form for when they're little (think Samuel/Sammy/Sam).

DH is insistent baby gets the traditional name registered...(I'd just go for the shortened form!) how do we go about making sure people use the shortened form I like?

Am I overthinking this?!

Just announce as the short form & use it. No one will see the birth certificate.

Dont tell people he has the long version registered, no one but you and dh need to know whats on there

Do you like the full name?

You can't really dictate nicknames, they evolve naturally and sometimes bear little resemblance to the full name.

My daughter has a dictated nickname which is not the traditional diminutive of her birth certificate name. No one has ever called her anything different. Her grandparents call her her birth certificate name and everyone else calls her her nickname that I announced at birth.

@sparklysunflower yes but I love the shortened form...!

I think you're all saying that I'm overthinking this really...hopefully it's a girl and then it'll be much easier as there's a couple I love!!

You could announce as Alexander, to be known as Alex/ Jacob, to be known as Jake. I have a cousin who is one of those and everyone calls him by the shortening!

Just refer to and speak to your baby as Sam /Sammy or whatever and everyone will follow suit.

I would just tell people the shortened version. We had this with our eldest, made the mistake of telling everyone her full name (that we gave her so she would have more options as an adult) and grandparents decided they liked the long version and insisted on using it! Drove me nuts, they did give in after a while.

Once they start school the kids find a nn for them, it's never what you've chosen they become used to it and prefer it because their friends gave them the name.
I wouldn't worry, it evolves by itself.

You can't really. I call DS by a nickname (and have done since birth). Once he started school he got given a different nickname and that stuck a lot better! I am now the only one who calls him by the original name.

Just introduce him as (eg) "Sammy"' no one needs to know what is on his birth certificate

I think you’re overthinking it a bit tbh.

DS 10 weeks is William- we always knew he would be Will, so that’s what we called him from day 1, and friends and family followed our lead.

If the parents refer to him as Sam or Danny instead of Samuel or Daniel, it would be odd for someone else to use the full name.

made the mistake of telling everyone her full name and grandparents decided they liked the long version and insisted on using it! Drove me nuts,

It seems crazy to give your child a name that you hate people using! Why not just choose a different name?

Thanks all, clearly way overthinking it!

I know I can't control what their nicknames will be once they're at school and beyond and in a way that's why I like the name, gives them options about who they want to be.

Maybe we just haven't found the right name yet and that's why it's so difficult!

My cousins all had birth announcements in the format, for eg, 'Archibald (Archie) James Smith'

Seems to have worked, the family all know what their longer name is but they are always known by the shortened version announced at the time

I think you can go a long way to dictating the preferred nickname. You announce the long form and the nn at birth, and lead the way with using the preferred form. And you correct anyone who uses a form you don't want. I've seen others successfully do this with their children. And both my sister and I have names that are commonly shortened to a nn, and both of us hate the usual nn, and have always just corrected anyone who uses it. It rarely happens and is quickly fixed if it does. Just be consistent and clear. I don't think it's a big deal in the end.

But why name your child Archibald if you never intend to use it?

If you're planning on using the short version, people will follow your lead. You can never control it 100%, but the vast majority will default to whatever you use. I think insisting on the full version, and not wanting people to shorten it is likely to be less successful, but if you introduce them by the short version it wouldn't occur to many people to select a different version!

I think you’re overthinking. If it’s a common diminutive eg Sam, Will, Tom etc I think it will be perfectly normal for people to use the short version if you do.
The only shortened versions I find awkward to use are when the baby is announced as a full name but the parents sometimes in passing refer to the baby as the shortened form. Then I haven’t known if I / everyone should use the diminutive or if it’s an immediate family thing and I’d be overstepping things. When children have been announced as Thomas (Tom) Smith however there has been no confusion.

Also - obviously you can’t dictate nicknames completely but if you’re having a William/ Samuel / Thomas, Will/Sam/ Tom seems almost certain!

My other half was like yours. Wanted a full name, not a nickname. We therefore have an Annabelle & I announced her full name at birth but said affectionately to be known as Annie. 90% of people call her Annie. My mum, dad, auntie & uncle use Annabelle. We do occasionally.

She can decide when she’s old enough too! She happily answers to both names, no obvious confusion! She calls herself Annie, much easier for a toddler to say!

Mine are both known as a shortening of their name. First was accidental and second deliberate. First one people followed our lead after a bit and the second we just introduced him as X to be known as Y.

Just announce the shortened version that you are planning to use

My friend has a Xander (Alexander on his birth certificate) and I've never heard anyone refer to him as Alex, Lex or anything else

Yes it's possible that once he is older his friends may choose a different nickname but so far everyone has just followed the parent's lead and call him Xander