Name dilemma

[IrishMamaMia]

Husband and I are expecting no 2 and we are very fussy about names. We found one that we really liked but by chance I found out at my Sil's baby shower that she liked it too. Fast forward to now they have given it as a middle name to their newborn.
Could we still realistically use it as a first name? Is that weird? I'm really torn as it seems less special now but equally haven't seen anything I like more. Has this happened to anyone else?
It's a well known name but has fallen out of popularity.

I don’t think it’s bad at all, it’s not like they will be called the same name. But I’d ask SIL to avoid a falling out

If I were your SIL this wouldn't bother me at all, but then again I'm not precious about names. You know her. How do you think she would react, and do you really care?

If it's your preferred name then go for it.

Maybe she found out you liked it and relegated it to a middle name so you could still use it?

Totally fine if it's her middle name. I wouldn't specifically ask your sil, but I would tell her.

tbh I think that’s quite odd. especially how close the babies would be. Ask SIL and see. Maybe she won’t mind and it might be “cute”

Thanks for the replies. Good perspectives on it. I'm not close to SIL but she's very nice so could chat to her and BIL. I still have a good way to go in this pregnancy, maybe I'll keep it on reserve for an emergency if we don't find anything else.

I'd definitely use it. I find middle names completely pointless and couldn't even tell you half of my own family members'. They are never used so no one would even know they are the same except for you and your ILs. Like a PP said, I'd probably run it past her just to avoid bad blood though.

Not a problem at all. No-one ever uses their middle name other than on formal paperwork.

Don't not use a name you love because your nephew will have to write it once every ten years when he gets a passport!

I wouldn't ask SIL, but I would tell her and I would tell her straight away, if it does bother her she can still change it if her baby has just been born. It also gives everyone a chance to get used to it so it's not an issue when the baby is born.

I would talk to SIL and BIL about how you liked this name too before they mentioned it, and ask how they would feel if you use it as a first. And keep looking at other options too. They may not mind at all, but if they do I think you just have to accept first come first served and find something else to love.

Thank you all. I'm going to stay open-minded for now and speak to them closer to the birth of we don't find another name. I will understand if they don't want use to use it :)

Don't say anything now because you might find another name

I'd also say if it's Oliver or Thomas then fine, if it's Frangelico or Etienne then maybe not!

This was us! My dd middle name was used by my bro & SIL as a first name (born only a few months later) as it had a family meaning to both sides of family. Neither of us minded, it's absolutely not an issue as middle names are pretty much never ever used. If it's what you love then go for it