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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

NAME REGRET

31 replies

Bunnysmum · 23/04/2019 12:54

It’s not necessary name regret but I wish I put shorter name as this is used the most and means more to myself and DP than the longer version we were only swayed by well wishers suggesting to put longer name although the shorter name is not the obvious shortening.
Has anyone changed child name in first 12 months love to hear stories / experiences

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steppemum · 23/04/2019 13:00

my second child, dd, is called by a longer name, and we had a shortening that we thought we might use.

Now, aged 14 she is never ever called by the long name, only the short one. In fact, I thought it was quite childish, and she would grow out of the short name, and into the long one. She hasn't.
So, think Eleanor, shortened to Ellie, and I think the Ellie part doesn't have a good adult ring to it. But she doesn't like the longer version.

I like both names, but part of me wishes she had one name that was suitable for an adult as well as a child. I thought she might switch to the longer name when she went to secondary, or uni, but I can't see it happening.

Justus22 · 23/04/2019 13:05

I've not but I know 2 that I have. In the cases I know of their babies had totally different names that just didn't feel right, in your case you're not even changing her name from something she's not used to hearing, you want to give her the name you use officially. All of my children have the name they use on their birth certificate, I don't like it when people refer to my son as a Jacob when his name is Jake but it still happens occasionally and it's fine.

Original poster

Bunnysmum · 23/04/2019 17:33

Thank you both for your comments I am so worried people will think I’m crazy taking the choice away but truth is I prefer the short version in hind sight now

OP posts:

Sunshinegirl82 · 23/04/2019 17:42

Can you not just use the shortened version? Why does it need to be officially changed? For example, I know quite a few people who are officially Katherine but are only known as Katie. Apart from passports and the occasional airline ticket I'm not sure it really matters.

Personally I don't think giving a child choice around the name you give them is a bad thing, a longer name with lots of options for shortening gives them a few options for when they're older!

Original poster

Bunnysmum · 23/04/2019 17:47

I Do get this but the short name is the actual name I want for my child I only went with the longer one from being swayed by others opinions ! Therefore I wish her name is officially the know name I want her to be called

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Original poster

Bunnysmum · 23/04/2019 17:57

PLUS I dont like any other shortening and there is a few !

OP posts:

DerbyRacer · 23/04/2019 18:05

I changed my son's middle name. From what I remember it was easy to do and I got a new birth certificate with the new name. It was 8 or 9 years ago so don't know what the rules are now for doing it. I would change her name if you really want to.

Original poster

Bunnysmum · 23/04/2019 19:59

Thank you it’s lovely to have support sometimes

OP posts:

TatianaLarina · 23/04/2019 20:47

Leave it as it is and just use the short version.

That gives your DC more choice in the long run.

A childhood friend was christened Katherine but only ever called Kathy.
She uses her full name as her professional name though and it definitely sounds better.

Bumblebeesmum · 23/04/2019 20:51

Yes I changed my daughters name at 3 months old it was incredibly simple & I was so relieved once it was done

Bumblebeesmum · 23/04/2019 20:52

As long as she is under 1 & also has not been christened then it’s very simple to do

Original poster

Bunnysmum · 23/04/2019 21:19

Once again thank you! It is hard to explain as I am fully aware it is and should be fine to keep longer version but I really do just want her to be known as the diminutive name , this is the name I have been dreaming of for my DD ANd feel a little sad I let others convince me that I needed a longer name on the BC that truthfully I’m not overally keen on! do you have to state formerly known as on passport application or anything though if changing in the first year and amending birth certiicate ?

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MercyBodle · 24/04/2019 03:16

Name regret can be very strong and I believe if changing the name is something very important to you then you should do it. The choice of your child's name can carry such strong emotions and sense of identity for a parent and I don't like seeing this dismissed. I know people who have done this in the first 12 months and it's not a big deal. It's also also surprisingly common.
I know people who have officially changed their names as adults after thinking about it for years, and then find it such a relief. You already know the arguments for having the longer version of the name, but clearly that's not right for you. Just do it.

TatianaLarina · 24/04/2019 08:47

It’s fine to have the full name on the birth certificate but only ever have her known as the diminutive. You just tell everyone that’s her name, and give it as her official name at school, doctors etc.

Justus22 · 24/04/2019 09:54

@tatianalarina it would be OK if OP actually liked the name on the certificate. You can't give any other name for passport so would but travel tickets in the official name, the bank will take your full name, doctors or school surely not as you need to present birth certificate for school definitely, sure you can request at school for use of a preferred name but it won't be on certificates with exam boards later on. I think you need to go with your gut on this sort of thing personally, the reason for name change is because it is not the name you see as your child's given name, it's a big deal to most.x

steppemum · 24/04/2019 09:56

there is a column on a birth certificate which says 'name if changed within 12 months'
If you put a new name in this column (obviously officially) then it is really simple, and that is then their legal name, not the first one. There is no need to state 'formerly known as' anywhere either.

TatianaLarina · 24/04/2019 10:46

Your full name is on your passport, that’s it. You don’t have to buy tickets in your full name. You don’t use it for anything else - bank, doctors, school etc. I’ve been my diminutive since I was 11. There’s nothing in my full name other than my passport.

steppemum · 24/04/2019 12:18

and actually, it can be a real pain.

dh is not British and in his country it is common to have one official name, but be known as something else everyday. Dh's official name is only on his passport.
But the number of times we have made a mistake with buying tickets etc, and then his proof of identity has his shorter name on it. If you never, ever use the longer version, you do tend to forget that you have to use it for official things.

steppemum · 24/04/2019 12:23

sorry, that shoudl say, his proof of identity has his LONGER name on it.
It is especially a problem if someone else is doing the paper work, as you don't always know what they have put and they get confused

Justus22 · 24/04/2019 13:11

@tatianalarina you can't buy a plane ticket using a shortening of the name in your passport at all, they have to match up and they're very clear you must not make spelling errors. Despite having my marriage certificate I had to pay to change my name to match my passport to travel. The school forms have given name and preffered name on so the class teacher can use your preferred name and I've never known a legal document have a name that is not legally registered. Yes there are circumstances you can use your preffered name but not these.

Justus22 · 24/04/2019 13:14

@tatianalarina otherwise I guess I could register a bank account in the name of Penny Lane because I like it, won't match the passport I use to open it though so not sure why they'd require it for proof of ID?

TatianaLarina · 24/04/2019 20:26

At school, no, my given name was the diminutive and I was never known by my full name. Teachers didn’t even know it wasn’t my full name. (The diminutive is a name in its own right).

All my bank accounts, credit cards are in my diminutive name.

It’s so long since I’ve bought plane tickets, as my husband organises them, you may be right about that.

Justus22 · 24/04/2019 23:24

@tatianalarina that's really interesting, so even on your gcses/a level/degree certificates was your diminutive name? And the bank let you open accounts in a name different to the passport/driving license you need to prove your identity to open the account? I can't even get them to change my maiden name to married name on my account nor my sons child trust fund account without taking in my marriage certificate for them to copy or posting the original to their head office. My doctors records have my registered birth names that are linked with my NHS number, i just presumed that's something that without legally name changing you'd need to keep as legally registered. What does your driving license have on it out of interest? Sorry for all the questions just curious. X

RaffertyFair · 24/04/2019 23:47

Bunnysmum I dont have experience but think I understand what you mean.
I had the name Beth on my list for Dd.
Definitely Beth, not Elizabeth.
I can imagine other people suggesting giving her the full name and agreeing at the time ...And then wishing I'd stuck to the original plan.

So, if I've understood you correctly, I would change it officially and tell people.

TatianaLarina · 25/04/2019 08:45

All my exam certificates are in my diminutive name as that was registered with school/university. That was the name I used on all my exam papers.

My bank accounts may have been opened originally with my full name, I can’t remember, but the name on my accounts and cards is the diminutive. Some cards just have my initials.

My doctors/NHS letters refer to me as the diminutive. They may have my full name on file somewhere but if so it’s not used.

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