Middle name dilemma...

[PoppingGlitter]

We are expecting a boy, DH had a cousin who died young (and he was fairly close to).

DH wants the middle name to be the name of his cousin.

Except, said name is the name of my mum's brother who she is NC, along with the rest of her immediate family (and have been for about 20 years).

I approached my mum and said she would find it hard to have her grandson have the name of her NC brother. And she's worried how her family would react etc.

For context, name was quite popular all throughout 1970s-90s (similar lines of Andrew). My uncle never did anything horrific, he was a dickhead by all means but its not like he murdered anyone etc.

Fwiw I like the name, I know it would mean a lot to DH and our DD has my mum's middle name so its not like she's been hard done by .

So does my mum need to get over herself? Or should I respect her feelings more?

Yes she needs to get over herself

Your mum needs to get over herself. This is not about her. It's your DH's decision and he doesn't have to take your mother into account.

It's not like she's ever going to have to hear the name said out loud.

Your mother is being pathetic and petty. It's also got nothing to do with her. She has no right to have any say on the name of a child that isn't hers.
I think it's very important that you do use the name as it means so much to your husband!!

It's a middle name - no-one is even going to say it. Of course you should use it.

Agree that your mum is being ridiculous and petty. You husband's reason for wanting the name is 1000 times more important than your mum's bizarre excuse for not wanting it. And frankly, your mum doesn't get a say.

Yep, your husbands reason for wanting the name should take priority over your mums concerns.