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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Using a name that reminds you of someone you don’t like

25 replies

Nofuckingeyebrows · 06/03/2019 09:45

Would you? The name DP and I have chosen for a boy reminds me of two people that I used to know, and really don’t like. They’re not very nice people. But they’re not in my life any more, I never think of them, they don’t live locally and I don’t have any contact with anyone else that knows them. So I rationalised that once baby is here, the name will become his and I’ll lose those negative associations. But part of me is worried that I’m being optimistic and the name will always be tainted. Thoughts?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

bridgetreilly · 06/03/2019 10:26

I think it depends. In the situation you describe, it's probably fine, though honestly I would try to choose another name just in case.

RayaJambalaya · 06/03/2019 13:00

No I think you're right, once the baby is here you won't care about the other people!

Miffymeow · 06/03/2019 13:08

It'll become a day to day name I suspect and will only really remind you of your baby. Have you ever made friends with someone new that you like with the same name as someone you used to know and didn't?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 06/03/2019 13:10

I wouldn’t personally, but those people I don’t like means that I don’t like their names.

Do you like the name?

TrainSong · 06/03/2019 13:13

Ater we'd named DS1I realised that someone I loathed in the past had the same name, But I'd always loved his name, from childhood and it came up so naturally. Now I just love the name, and weirdly feel fonder towards the man who used to irritate me so much because of it. He has DS's name now, in my mind, not the other way round.

Sessy19 · 06/03/2019 13:46

Of ALL the names out there, the two you chose are names of people you don’t like?? 😂😂😂

Do you like the names? Why on EARTH puck those names?? I don’t understand

Original poster

Nofuckingeyebrows · 06/03/2019 18:31

Sorry, to clarify, it’s just one name. I do like the name & really it’s the only boy’s name we both like so it’s kind of just assumed that it will be the name we use, even though I don’t love it and have these associations. I can see it’s a bit weird though

OP posts:

Bumblebeesmum · 07/03/2019 21:45

If you really like the name then the association can’t really be that strong. Use it when talking about the bump for a while & you’ll quickly see whether ancient people are forgotten.

LeadMeToTheChocolate · 07/03/2019 21:48

No. If you don’t love it, if you’re having doubts about negative connotations now twin just find another.... I’m a teacher- soooo many names I wouldn’t use!! And not necessarily because I didn’t want to be reminded of a ‘difficult’ child, just overused/too popular etc etc
There hundreds of lovely names, just pick another!

LeadMeToTheChocolate · 07/03/2019 21:48

*There’s

greendale17 · 07/03/2019 21:51

No,never. It forever have bad connotations.

JustAnotherMillennial · 07/03/2019 22:12

Depends to be honest. I was in a similar situation to you, in the end we went with the name and I am happy we did.

My DD is called Abigail and one of the girls that bullied me in school was called Abby and I worked with an awful woman called too called Abby. But that was all in the past, when my DD was born I had not seen either of them in over 10 years.

If it was someone in my life at the present that I hated I couldn't do it.

Original poster

Nofuckingeyebrows · 08/03/2019 07:04

Thank you, everyone. I’ll talk to DP again and see if we can find a different name we like. It’s interesting to hear that is has worked out for you, Just

OP posts:

ScreamingValenta · 08/03/2019 07:08

If they were awful people, I think using their name will diminish their importance in your life and could be a good thing. Your love of the name will be shown as stronger than your dislike of these people - that means they're no longer influencing you.

Original poster

Nofuckingeyebrows · 08/03/2019 07:48

I like that, ScreamingValenta. In fairness though, the people are not awful but I just have... distasteful memories of them. I think I’m massively overthinking this and the name will be fine!

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MunsteadWood · 08/03/2019 11:05

Another one who thinks the name will becomes your DSs over time. When our DS was born it took us ages to settle on a name, and we ended up going with one that has strong associations with a couple of other people in our lives (although tbf not people we dislike). I worried for ages that we'd made the wrong choice, as although I liked the name, it just didn't feel like "his". I posted on here about it around 6 months in as I was still feeling a bit sad about it at times, but was advised that if I still really liked the name (I did) it would likely start to feel more and more like DSs as he got older and grew into it, if that makes sense. Now he's nearly 18mo and has totally become his name - he knows it and answers to it, and it really suits him. I definitely don't think of the other two people we know with that name now - the name is his!

MunsteadWood · 08/03/2019 11:06

Sorry that ended up being quite a long winded way of saying that yes, I think the association will go once your DS is born. But if your experience is anything like mine it may not happen immediately.

Cookit · 08/03/2019 12:07

Hm yes, I probably would use it. I think especially given the name to a baby will add time and distance between when you knew the name before.
I knew some awful Jonathans growing up who bullied me a lot at school, but it just seems like another life a go now and I don’t hate the name anymore.

Pinkruler · 08/03/2019 12:09

Surely most people screen out names for their own DC based on negative connotations?

LarkDescending · 08/03/2019 12:14

It's not really a negative connotation in any meaningful sense if you never usually think of these people from your past and still like the name enough to have chosen it.

I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is: do I really like the name enough to choose it for my child, or am I settling because we have found it hard to agree?

mrsdavys · 08/03/2019 18:27

Personally I don’t like any names that belong to people I dislike!! So for me it wouldn’t be an issue because I’d never need to use it.

For you though, as you still like the name, I’d definitely use it.

lornz · 09/03/2019 06:50

Personally I wouldn't be able to. I am a teacher so also come into contact with lots of different names and that can also majorly impact on whether a name can be a contender 🙈
I've poo-poo-ed many a name (much to my hubbys dismay) because of a child I have taught or I went to school with.

However that may not be the case for everyone

ShadyLady53 · 10/03/2019 19:02

Oddly one of my favourite boys names, Gregory/Greg is the name of a boy who made my life hell at school. I also love Nathaniel but his best mate, who also bullied me, was called Nathan. I’d still use both. MY Greg and Nathaniel would be well brought up and not evil abusive twats!

If you like the names, go for it, reclaim them!

pineapplebryanbrown · 13/03/2019 00:21

It depends how much I hate someone. If i really can't bear them the name will make me shudder so i couldn't pick it. If you don't really care about the person any more then go ahead.

When i had DS1 my mum asked if i had named him after a certain boy i wrote on my pencil case for a week when i was 14. I had no clue what she was talking about and had to dredge my memory.

foxtiger · 14/03/2019 21:12

I think it depends how unusual the name is. I've known a couple of not very pleasant Michaels, but I've known so many more nice or neutral ones, it would not have put me off using that name. If I'd ever met a Nicodemus, and he was horrible, I'm pretty sure I would never have wanted to hear the name again, let alone use it.

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