When DH vetoes your favorite name

[Lampy123]

What do you do when your DH strongly dislikes your favorite name? A name you always wanted to name your girl. But due to people in his past or family members he had a bad association with, he doesn't want the name, in fact is using his one "veto" for it. If I strongly urge him then he will say okay, but then there's always knowing he doesn't like the name.

What are your thoughts? What would you do? Will he possibly get over the bad association once he has bonded with the baby?

The name is Catherine (or any variation of it like Kate, Katherine, etc.)

There are loads of nice names, of course you both have to agree and be gracious about it.

aren't we supposed to LOVE the name we give our kids??

Yes - both of you! So if either isn't keen - for any silly reason - you keep looking. I sympathise. It took DH and I forever to find a name we both liked for DD. It was the only name we agreed on out of hundreds. Now we're expecting another girl! We're struggling, but if one of us doesn't like a suggestion we just move on. We'll get there eventually!

If he hates it that much I wouldn't there must be other names you like.

It is difficult finding a name you agree on. I ask my partner about names quite a lot and the ones I like the most I tend to ask him about again every so often and some of them have grown on him! Albeit not the ones he hated which I just removed from the list all together!

I don’t understand how he has one veto but has also vetoed multiple names?
Also there are only 2 of you so veto is a little odd - you either agree on a name or you don’t. Surely you wouldn’t want a name for
the child you’re both bringing in to the world together that you knew your partner didn’t like??

Having re read you seem to be asking whether you should just name your child & not worry about your partner having a say? How would you feel if your partner did the same to you?

I realise someone has commented that it’s fine to just put a foot down & decide you’re not equals & baby naming is just for you but I really don’t think that bodes well for a healthy relationship

Can you each write a list of names, toss a coin and the loser picks from the winner's list?

For dc1 we both had a separate name we loved and agreed we'd wait till birth. It was a pretty traumatic birth and when we finally saw dc1 I just blurted out my name and DH agreed it was the name. Dc2 I was convinced was the same sex as dc1, refused to discuss opposite sex names as didn't believe I'd have the opposite sex. Only liked dc1 name. Said DH could name dc2 whatever he wanted. Turns out dc2 was the opposite sex and DH said he loved the name I'd picked for dc1 had they been the opposite sex. I think seeing me going thru labour made him vulnerable!

I sympathise OP! My DD is named after somebody I greatly admired as a child and I’ve loved the name since I was about 11! DH wasn’t keen at first at all but I spent 9 months trying to persuade him and thankfully he relented and I got my choice in the end! It was just a name I was so in love with and from the age of 11, I could only ever imagine having a daughter with that name. It would have broken my heart to have not been able to use it.