Baby name etiquette

[Mangotango123]

An old school friend of mine has a little girl of about 4, named Clementine.

We don’t ever meet up, we send each other a Xmas card and like the odd Instagram picture of each other’s every now and then, but I wouldn’t say we are really close even though we were in close circle of friends at school. She also lives in London whereas I am based in south England.

Can I have people’s opinion please of whether or not it’s acceltable to call my baby, if it’s a girl, Clementine? My husband and I adore the name and the inspiration hasn’t come from her, it’s just a name we stumbled across in the baby name book and thought ‘actually we really like that’. Because it’s fairly uncommon I wonder whether my friend would be annoyed that I am potentially going to use it? Do you think this is something I should get in contact wirh her beforehand to ask whether or not this would be the case?

My husband says I’m being silly but I just don’t want her to think bad of me or assume we’ve chosen the name because we’ve ‘copied’ her.

Thank you x

I’d call my baby whatever name I liked. Sod someone owning a name. And does it matter if someone you have very limited contact with thinks you ‘copied’
That said I’m part of a family with an Emma and Emily who are cousins and two other cousins who are both Anna’s.

It’s absolutely fine! If you’re really worried about her seeing the name and thinking you’ve copied her you could maybe send her a message saying that you saw the name in a book, decided on it then realised her child has the same name but you really don’t need to

Of course it's OK to use it. You don't need to run it past her, I wouldn't say. After all you don't meet up. Go for it, it's a lovely name.

God you don’t even meet up! No one owns a name etc but if she does take offence and/or think you’ve copied then it will hardly be a loss if she doesn’t like your next Insta post. And I love Clementine by the way, it was on my list for DD and would definitely be near the top of any hypothetical list for future baby girls. Do it!!!

My son has an unusual name, and if someone used it under similar circumstances I wouldn’t mind. In fact, if they said ‘we love the name, but your lovely DS has made us like it even more’ I’d be chuffed to bits

Aww thanks everyone. I just worry about offending anyone and if had been a more popular name I wouldn’t have thought twice but because it’s quite unusual doubts crossed my mind. It’s a really strong contender for us and I really didn’t want to eliminate it based on the above reason.
Thanks so much for all your contributions x

Basically without social media you would barely be in touch with this person so absolutely fine to use the name you love.

The girls wouldn’t end up in the same school, let alone the same class so no problem. Would tell your friend your thinking of using it as per @BeautifulComicalThings post above. As it’s a less common name I expect your friend’s choice has received a mixed reception and she most likely will feel happy about your shared approval

Go for it - she might even be flattered!

I would mention it in advance of the birth, but go for it.

I’d use it, I called my DD the same name (but different spelling) than my friends older DD and I did ask if she was ok with it but she is a very good friend of mine who I see as often as distance allows and she is also now my DDs Godmother.

Similar circumstances to you - minus the Christmas card thing -

She had a daughter who was 4 years older than my daughter - I called her the same name - wasn't particularly unusual, was a flower, she Unfriended me on Facebook - then started slagging me off saying how "I couldn't find my own name and wanted to be her" was childish

She lives maybe 5 minutes away from me - we have no mutual friends and I never see her

If you like the name - use it - your child will be here long after she has gone / is not your friend anymore

strawberrylollipop Oh no poor you!

That’s the sort of scenario I was conjuring up in my head. That said, she is a very well brought up and polite woman and so I don’t think she would do anything to publicly slate me even if she was miffed about the situation.

Unfortunately no name is unique to one person and so replicas are bound to happen amongst small communities at some point.

Thanks for your advice and I’m so sorry for you that you had a negative reaction from your friend.

X

I think it's a bit off if a child is named a name that isn't in any name books but Clementine is unusual but far from unique. Just be sure you like Clemmie as that is what the two girls I know get called