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Original poster

Name regret

20 replies

SpongeCake23 · 22/02/2019 17:48

I’m having regret over my 4 month old baby boy’s name Sad
I feel awful about it, as it’s his name and it’s what everyone now knows him as.
I find it hard to hear it for some reason.
I really loved it when I was pregnant, it was the only name me and my partner could agree on. All the names I liked, he wouldn’t even consider and the only name he liked and contributed, I really didn’t.

I actually prefer his middle name, but that’s my DP’s father’s name, so he didn’t want that as his first name.

Anyone else experience name regret? I feel it’s too late to change it now.

OP posts:
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amrscot · 22/02/2019 17:54

@SpongeCake23 can you tell us what the name is or is it too outing?

NotMySquirrel · 22/02/2019 17:58

Sometimes I wobble on mine but wouldn't change it. By four months DD recognised her name, so it would have been too late then in my eyes.

Marbles321 · 22/02/2019 18:00

OP I had this to some extent with my son who is now 6 months. I actually never even used his name for the first few weeks - just called him made up nicknames!
Like you it was one of a tiny handful of names that both me and dp could agree on. I struggled to hear other people say it, it felt too big and too grown up for a tiny baby and I wondered if we had made a terrible mistake.
Ds is now 6 months and I love his name. It's a little different- not an unusual name but you don't meet many babies with his name - but its strong and distinctive and suits him down to the ground. And now I call him by it all the time :-)
For me....I tried calling him by other names in his head to see if there was another perfect name out there for him, and tbh they all felt wrong! So I stuck with it, trusted close friends and family who said it was a fab name, and I'm so glad I did.
I think the whole thing was a mixture of hormones and a bit of a wobble about the huge responsibility of naming another person - I just couldn't get over the enormity of it!
However it doesn't mean it's too late to change if you want to- I think you have a year after the birth certificate to make any alterations.

Marbles321 · 22/02/2019 18:01

In my* head, sorry!

MonaChopsis · 22/02/2019 18:03

SpongeCake23 Just a PSA really, that name regret is only of the symptoms of PND. I wish I had known that during the 6 months I spent agonising over my daughters (perfectly lovely) name. Are you struggling in other ways, or is the name a stand alone issue?

flumpybear · 22/02/2019 18:34

Why the wobble? Have you found out it's got negative connections or just don't like it anymore?
I'd say make a proper, non emotional decision and stick with it - look up rules on deed-poll if you need to change it

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/02/2019 09:02

He's only 4 months, so Its not too late to change it. However do it quick because soon hell know his name.

Jaz32 · 23/02/2019 12:44

You are not alone. I regret my daughters name, it’s a nice enough traditional name but it wasn’t a name I loved. We couldn’t agree on many names at all and family put me off a name I loved saying it was too faddy and to be honest it prob is...there were other names I loved too but husband didn’t! So when she arrived 5 weeks early, tiny and after a very eventful emergency c section I ended up agreeing to husbands favourite name which was our midwife who was in theatre with us name lol. After several weeks I began to doubt it but we’d already registered her. Her middle name is after my mum so can’t swap to use it daily. At 4 months I mentioned to husband I wasn’t sure about her name and he said I was being ridiculous and it was her name and everyone called her it etc. I tested calling her a couple of other names I loved and she could easily have suited them but again husband said no he loved her name. She’s now 15 months old and I still wish I’d took my time and gone for another name or pushed for my favourite name as we aren’t having anymore children! About a month ago I said to husband I still wasn’t sure about her name and he was like why didn’t you say this before I said I did!!! But after 12 months you have to change it by deed poll and it’s a lot more of a faff plus she knows her name very well now so I’ve had to accept it and it is a nice name lol....

Sorry for my long waffle but just wanted to say if you really feel strongly about it talk to your partner and if he agrees test out the new name you like for a few days/weeks to see if it feels right before officially changing it but do it ASAP x

MrsJDornan · 23/02/2019 12:52

I still have name regret now and DD is 19 months, at times I love it and others I don't but I think if she was younger I would've changed it

If you really don't love it then maybe look into it but have you a another name in mind? What does you DP think?

Birdie6 · 23/02/2019 12:57

I still regret my DD's name and she is an adult . My husband wanted to name the baby after his late mother and I couldn't say no - it's an old fashioned, rather unattractive name and I still dislike it . Nothing I can do though !

Confusedbeetle · 23/02/2019 13:10

Just change it. My mother changed mine when I was 6 months and I never knew until I was 18 (because she didnt do anything legally! ) Just do it properly

BlueMerchant · 23/02/2019 14:11

I added a dreaded hyphen instead of just having a first and middle 😲

Girlsmumma2 · 23/02/2019 17:18

Hey,
I’m sorry your having these doubts over your baby’s name.
I have also been there. Can I just say it’s absolute rubbish that a baby knows it’s name at 4months!!! I’d say a year until they start realising and even then it’s just a word they recognise.
I didn’t have the courage to change mine as it feels like such a huge thing at the time and you worry what everyone else will be thinking, but people are really selfish and actually are not that interested anyway so do what makes you happiest. Please take your time and talk things over with your partner, test out some other names and see how it feels.

OnlyToWin · 23/02/2019 17:23

I had name regret for dd2. It was like a constantly rotating thought in my head and spoiled the first few months of her life. No one took my concerns about it seriously, which made me feel more crazy! In hindsight it was all part of PND/anxiety. I still prefer other names now, but I did not change it as did not have DH’s support to do so. I do know people who have though and aside from a few comments no one cared.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 23/02/2019 19:00

It’s definitely not too late to change it. What’s the name?

Bumblebeesmum · 24/02/2019 00:18

I struggled with my daughter’s name & it upset me a lot. I changed her name at 3.5 months old & it was pretty mortifying at first but once it was done I was so relieved & I’m so pleased I had the guts to do it

Ihavealwaysknown · 24/02/2019 00:26

I didn’t call DD by her actual name for a good few months after her birth. We went with DHs choice of name and after an emergency csection for a prem baby I honestly couldn’t have cared less, I just wanted her to be ok. I guess it was a bit of ptsd/pnd as I did struggle for a couple of months. She’s now 9 months old and I couldn’t imagine her being anything else ❤️

Wakk · 24/02/2019 00:30

I was going to ask how you're feeling in yourself too.

What's the name? Would it help if we were all honest about it? Thanks

IncrediblySadToo · 24/02/2019 00:39

At 4 months it’s definitely definitely not too late to change it. It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

Just make sure it’s not just a part of a bigger problem first.

PCohle · 24/02/2019 00:42

I totally agree with Incredibly.

Kids respond to all sorts of nicknames and baby/darling/sweetheart/cutie stuff. If you want to change it it's not too late.

However pretty much all my friends who expressed any kind of name regret later realised they were suffering from PND.

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