Last name - parents not together

[AuntMarch]

I am expecting my first and probably only baby. The father and I are no longer together but on good terms.

I was wondering what most people would do with regards to baby's last name in this situation.

My surname isn't anything unusual. Neither is his. But I've always disliked double barrelling! Do people ever use two without the hyphen? Two "formally" but not necessarily refer to them both? One as middle name, but which?! I don't want to offend him so thought suggestions or opinions worth collecting first

If ExP wasn't going to be heavily involved it would be mine, no questions asked, but he's going to want to be there as much as he possibly can be, as do the rest of his family.

Your name. Use father's surname as a middle name.
Firstname [Middlename] Dadssurname Yoursurname.

no double-barrelling.
Having the same surname as your child will make your life easier.

Give the baby your surname. 💯

Your surname.
Def.

Yours

Always the mothers name. Whether she is married or not, whether she has changed her name to match her husband’s/partners or not.

Your surname definitely. It will make life so much easier for both you and LO

Absolutely your name 100%

Yours.

Or

YOURS!

MIkeUniformMike's idea is good.
I know 2 people who have just done this - the babies are called:
Leo Blake Mitchell
Felix Owen Carter

Thanks RelaisBlu, but you might want to get your post deleted if it has real names in.

If you are going to be the resident parent your name would be best.

They are nice names that work well together.

I think a child should always share the same surname as their mum because it is usually mum taking them to hospital/ doctors/ sorting out things for school. I know this isn't always but I know very few dads that do these things and I think it makes life easier. Also if you travel abroad with your child and they don't have your surname you can be stopped from boarding the plane unless you can produce their birth certificate. So either hyphenate or use your ex's name as a middle name.

Definitely yours! I've had nothing but trouble since splitting with my ex and he uses it against me now !

I used my name. I heard that travelling and passports / customs can be difficult otherwise!

Don't put the father's name last because you'll spend the next 18 years being called Mrs Dadssurname by schools, GP receptionists etc.
It can be a real pita to travel with a child with a different surname.
There are probably many other reasons too.
Congratulations on the pregnancy, and it's nice that you and the ex are on good terms.

MikeUiformMike no don't worry I have "tweaked" them slightly so they are disguised but retained the flavour!

I gave my eldest DS my surname in similar circumstances.

If you double barrell please ensure you have a hyphen!! My child’s surname is double barrelled without a hyphen and it’s an absolute nightmare as they think the first surname is her middle name, and therfore difficult to find her on databases. I’ve now just started using a hyphen, adding it in myself when possible.

Also if you travel abroad with your child and they don't have your surname you can be stopped from boarding the plane unless you can produce their birth certificate.

I’ve travelled extensively with my DD and never once had this happen.

Don't put the father's name last because you'll spend the next 18 years being called Mrs Dadssurname by schools, GP receptionists etc.
It can be a real pita to travel with a child with a different surname.

Never happened to me.

Thanks for the input! I do want to use mine, I just don't want to upset anybody either

Remember OP - they are not more important than you. Their feelings aren't more important than yours. Give it your name or double barrel. It's been pretty unanimous on this thread for a reason!

Good to hear some people don’t get called Mrs ex’s surname, or questioned at immigration, boobilliboo.

I have frequently had both of these issues. I think people post on here about it because it is quite a common experience.

My dds father and I split when I was pregnant, he is very much involved but I gave her my second name. Purely because I'm the resident parent and I wanted us to have the same name.