I hate my common name! Can I change it as an adult?

[MoggTheCat]

My name is Louise. I have always hated it as it is so common amongst women my age (born late 70s). There were four of us called Louise in my class at school. There are several Louise’s at my new workplace. My children have more unusual names as I didn’t want them to suffer the same fate! Would it be unreasonable to consider changing my name now? Or would it just be too difficult to get my friends and family to adjust to a new name?

It's ridiculous to change your name at your age, whatever it happens to be. Everyone you know already will just feel totally awkward calling you by a different name, and are likely to slip up very frequently. A school friend of mine changed her name in her forties because her old name didn't go with her new married name. Pretty much everyone we know still refers to her by her original name apart from any new people she's met since changing it. It's not deliberate, it's just that she's been known by that name for so long it's ingrained.

I would have no problem if either one of my DS changed their name. Would take a while to get used to but any slip up wouldn't be deliberate.

Eloise as an alternative thatmight be easier for your family to stomach?

I was born in the 50s and was very jealous of the Louise at school in our year. I have a name very common at that time and really wanted to be called Louise.
If you're going to change your name try not to choose something too outlandish.

I'm a Louise, born early 70s.

I've had the same irritation but tbh I'm really happy with who I am as a person so it doesn't matter to me.

I get called Lou and Lulu by friends and family. I'm also Irish so my heavily accented friends call me Lou-ee-az, three syllables.

I lived in America and got call Weezy there.

I think a nice differentiation which is subtle but pretty is Louisa.

My old work colleagues called me Lou, DH calls me Looby, best friend calls me Loulabelle!

But this is all lovely. You'd lose it all if you changed your name to Tuesday.

Thank you all so much for your ideas and responses. It has given me a lot to think about 😊

I've had the same irritation but tbh I'm really happy with who I am as a person so it doesn't matter to me.

Seriously odd comment. Lots of people are perfectly happy with themselves as a person but have shit names so change them. Changing names does not change them as a person.

Look at traditional nicknames for Louise perhaps - Lucy, Lulu, but there may be more unusual ones. (Why Margaret and Peggy are linked for instance?)

Lol! I’m a similar age to you and I hated my uncommon name at school, and would tell people I was called Louise!

I know 4 louises! 😬

I say go for it but... What about keeping close to your name, it might be easier for everyone (and you!) to adjust. For example:

Elouise (Ellie, Ella)
Louisa
Lula
Luella

@DipIt OP doesn't think she has a shit name, just an overly common one. She also alluded to having therapy.

I have had exactly the same thoughts as OP. I have a name which is very common for women of my age so it feels unspecial and generic. The point I was trying to make was the happier I am in life / the older I get the less I care about what my name is / how it is perceived.

Everyone would get used to a new name pretty fast ime and would respect your decision as clearly it matters to you.

I only know one Louise and she is in her 20’s. Not that common here. Although I know several people who have it as a middle name.

I think it would be difficult for your family to change it.. but I like MrsJanes idea of keeping it similar. Luella/ Lucy/ Louisa

A friend of a friend changed her name legally from something pretty but ordinary and not actually that common (like Penelope) to something mad, hippy and just too much (think Emerald). No one who knew her before can bring themselves to call her Emerald and everyone thinks she’s crackers. So tread carefully on the new name.

I also hate my name. I use a shortened version but my immediate family only call me by my full name which makes me cringe, and all official documents obviously have my full name.

I HATE my full name with a passion. It’s very unusual (even more so growing up in the 80s rather than now when names are much more varied). I have a huge complex over using the full name and brings back so many memories from being a child when everyone always said “what?” “Who?” And coupled up with a slight childhood lisp it was just a whole lot of embarrassment. It gave me huge self esteem issues and I used to lie and pretend my name was something else.

I’d love to change it by deedpol but I know my DM would be upset. What makes it worse is my DB has such a lovely but easy name!

Sorry, gone off on a bit of a tangent there.

DBro just chose to use his middle name ather than his fairly prosaic first name when he was about 18. He did t need to chxbfe any documents or anything. It took a long time for family to get used to calling him something different though.

If you love Loulabelle go for it! 🤗

If Louloubelle really was your name, people would shorten it anyway. It's a bit of a mouthful. All the Louises I know get called Lou.

About 18 months after doing therapy, I started using a shortened version of my name which I'd never used before. (Ideally I would have done the change I wish I'd done at the start of uni - using a middle name as my first name - but that seemed impractical now as everyone knew my by my normal name.) I only did this for about a year and it started to feel silly and just not me. It was a phase I probably needed to go through as part of the process of change stemming from the therapy, but I'm glad I didn't do anything more drastic. Later my name just didn't seem as important any more. I still don't like it very much but I don't give it as much thought.

A uni friend changed her name over 15 years ago and mutual friends still refer to her by her old name, which contributed to my idea that a full change probably wasn't worth it. She also moved to a new area not long after changing it which must be one of the reasons most of these people have never got properly used to it.

You could try making the change on social media and with new people and seeing how that feels rather than doing a deed poll. If you still feel better about it in a year or two then maybe do the legal change, and change it at work?

Also think carefully about the reduction in anonymity. There are benefits and security in having a common name online.

I have a fabulous friend who hated her name for all the same reasons as you OP. And finally decided to change to a variant of her middle name when she changed jobs in her mid 30s
Whilst her old friends fully supported her choice and we really did try to use her new name but it was honestly really difficult!
A familiar name slips out without thinking.
And then it can be awkward.
She gave up in the end. But there is a small group of people she knows from that job (20 years ago now) who call her by new name because that's how they'd always known her

OP, do what is right for you. Sometimes taking ownership of something can be as powerful as changing it.

I have a friend in her 40s.
She had a very common name for her generation.
She changed it to a very common name for this current generation of babies (think Evie, Lexi, Izzy) and I haven't been able to adjust as it feels very awkward, so I avoid calling her anything.

I think it's very disrespectful not to get to grips with a name change by someone you care about.

I say go for it. My mum has spent her whole life hating her name, nowadays, there's really no need.

A friend of mine changed hers in her 20s, having been through a bad time: new name, new me. Her (random, not well known) religion encouraged it. Nobody died and we all got used to it.

As importantly, I want to know if Popski 's Lesley\Lel is the Lesley I went to college with (but lost touch). Does she have red hair??