Me and dh can't decide

[bluebird3]

Has anyone else been in the position where you and dh just don't agree on names at all?
We're having a surprise so that makes it even harder as there are 2 names to disagree on. . We've been through over 1000 girls names and only sort of agreed on one and neither of us like it that much. It's probably #30 on my list. I'm starting to feel really down about it. There are so many names that I love and I'm so sad that I won't love my baby's name. My dh is the most stubborn person in the world and won't change his mind about my names.

I'm 34 weeks and don't see us coming to an agreement.

On DH list I like Eva, Esther and Susannah. These all feel classic, timeless and smart to me. On yours I like Rosie and Iris, and don't mind Piper but it's very 'now' which means it'll be very out in a while. There are a few on each list that I would immediately cross off - Maria, Alina, Meredith, Bianca, Skylar.

Marina
Anthea
Elspeth
Anna
Anya
Luna
Pippa

What about Elsie instead of Elise? Similar but much sweeter

Thanks for all your input. Part of the problem is probably that I'm American and Dh is English so different names have different connotations to us.

For example Elise is considered quite 'chavy' in the USA although we don't really have that term. Katrina only brings to mind Hurricane Katrina. And I love Paige, but that looks to be really unpopular here in the UK from all of your suggestions.

We have a very English surname and live in England so I sort of feel like I should get to have more input into the first name and for it to be more 'American' but dh doesn't agree.

I definitely don't want any top 10 names that are really vowel-y (Eva, Ava, Evie, Isla, Olivia, Ada, etc.) They just aren't for me and I have a name that was common in school and hated it. Plus we have loads of goods friends with babies with these sort of names so even if I like one it's already used and I don't want to duplicate.

I also like Sadie, Scarlett, Violet, Betsy, Kiera, Leah, Ruby, Cora, Beatrice, Summer but DH has said no to them all.

I did think maybe Susannah but when I mentioned it at work the entire table of 6 ladies pulled a face and thought it was terrible which has now put me off.

The one we both thought was ok was Abby but I guess I'm just disappointed it might come down to a name we both think is just ok rather than one I love when there are probably 20-30 that I do love.

If it's a boy we will probably name it Henry. We both have always said we liked it, it's a family name for DH and I don't have the energy to find an alternative bc dh has said no to every other suggestion I've made.

Susannah is lovely!

Agree - Susannah is super.
Names have different connotations to different people. eg, I disagree with PP above who said Elsie was similar but sweeter than Elise. Elsie is dowdy and dreary kitchen maid to me, whereas Elise seems quite French chic/sweet.

Esther, Iris and Hazel are the only ones I could see myself ever using. The others are either too ‘modern’ like Skylar or too old fashioned (but not in a timeless ‘cool’ way) like Susannah.

Susannah makes me think of Trinny and Susannah so not a great connotation. Obviously this is just my opinion and it’s all subjective. You can see from both of your lists why you’re struggling to agree, a fair few of yours are definitely more American (Piper for example) and I can also see why you wouldn’t want to use Katrina.

Oh and it’s worth noting some parents don’t agree until the baby is born. My brother was ‘baby’ for a few weeks until my mum decided!

I’m American and that’s news to me about the name Elise! I know a few Elise/Elyses from childhood and college. One is a fairly successful actress, one is a partner at a big law firm, and one is some kind of scientist. There is one more but I have no idea what she’s doing, although her father was some kind of CEO.

I grew up in Westchester County (NY) and went to Cornell — I don’t know if you’re familiar with those but they’re not exactly what you’d think of as “chavvy.” Sometimes you have to look outside your own life experience, especially if you are raising your child in a different country de where you grew up.

Susanna to me seems to smoosh both yours and your husbands tastes together...

Truthfully I think Susannah is awful, which is going against the popular vote here. I know too many people age 45+ called Sue, Susie, Suzanne. It's used alot and makes me think of middled aged people. I'm not a massive fan of either of your choices though, none are jumping out at me. I like the ticking off names idea, that could work well. You could combine an American and UK list to make it more fair.

If you like Sadie how would your DH feel about Sarah, nn Sadie?

Or Elizabeth - nicknamed Betsy?

Amanda
Aurelia
Lois
Hilda

Nancy

What about:
Lara
Zara
Maya
Might be a compromise. Saying that I like Abby.

Greta
Freya
Emilina

I like Abby.

I think an option to combine your very separate styles is to think of a longer, more traditional name that can have a more modern nickname.

Alexandra - Ally, Alexa, Lexie
Adelaide/Adele - Addy
Rosanna - Rosie
Elisabeth/Liberty - Libby

Rachel
Lucy
Jenna
Julia
Heather

I have an Annie and an Esther. I would suggest

Olive
Miriam
Eliza
Connie
Cora

Avery? I love this name but for various reasons couldn't use it. More popular in North America, but much less so here in the UK.

Elise is a beautiful name :)

So easy to find a name until you have to get the father to agree! I often wonder what it would feel like to be from a culture where the baby’s name is chosen by the grandparents.
What about Brianna?
Harriet or Henriette or Henrietta?
Suzette, Suzanne

Miranda is perfect for a girl. I found girls names really hard, my daughter was a week old before she had a name because she didn't look like the name we'd picked!

Some lovely suggestions - many of which I am open to but dh is literally only open to his list. Anything else I suggest is a flat no. I know some of his are lovely options to many people but for one reason or another, I don't like them (associate it with somebody/something, doesn't fit our surname, close friend/relative has the same or something too similar).

I just don't know how we will agree when he is so rigid. He won't agree to me picking first name and him picking middle, asking other people, drawing out of a hat. He just thinks that we will find one we both like, but to be honest we have been through thousands and there aren't really any left one of us hasn't said no to. I have about 30-40 I would be happy with, he has about 10.

I think I will just leave it for now. I keep getting stressed and it's the last thing I need these last few weeks of pregnancy. Maybe it will be a boy.

Chances are he will be so blown away by the complete miracle you have just performed in bringing your beautiful baby into the world that he may be swayed from his rigid view of things. Or maybe not- it is so hard to choose but try not to let it overshadow the last few weeks of your pregnancy. Good luck OP