DH wants a family middle name but I don't like it

[sickmumma]

Sorry this will be a bit long. We've decided on a first name for DD due in a couple of months (Ava) which we both love, however DH wants to use the middle name of his great grandmother as the middle name for this child (Louise)

We have three children - eldest son has a traditional middle name that most of DH family have but modernised a bit, second son has his great grandads first name (husband to the middle name he wants for this baby) and daughters middle name has no family meaning.

I don't dislike the name Louise but I feel it's not as traditional as our other middle names Freddie, Henry (which I've always loved and we nearly had as a first name) and Rose. I also had a best friend growing up with that name so reminds me of her - I adore her but feels a bit strange to name a baby after her and also two of DH aunties married in are called Louise (one of which is a complete fruit cake) and so every time I say the name aloud it just makes me think of her! I've never minded having DH family names, I am very lucky that all those I love and remember are still with us and it would feel a bit strange to name a baby after a living relative as if writing them off. I did like my great grandmothers name (Daisy) however our surname also ends in a Y and so sounded a bit strange together.

I am torn what to do as I know Louise will mean a lot to DH and also his Mum whom I get on with well but at the same time the more I think about it the more I just can't grow to like it! I guess I have a few options..

1. Get over it and just use the middle name but secretly hate it.

1. Veto the name upsetting DH and MIL but feel happier in myself and use a totally meaningless name.

1. I was thinking to perhaps put two middle names so have Ava Daisy Louise then surname. That way we are both happy, I feel an extra name breaks it up a bit so it sounds less like horrible auntys name said aloud and I get to use a name that has meaning to me but would it be strange for this child to have two middle names when our other children only have 1?

Opinions please and I appreciate I am overthinking this and it's a complete non problem but babies name will be something permanent and I don't want to regret it.

If you don't like it, that's that. It's a joint decision.

It seems like a lot of these names are coming from his family. Do you have any names that are meaningful to you (family, favourite characters) you could use? Might be easier to deal with MIL if you can say breezily, "Oh, we decided to go with my favourite aunty's name this time, it's lovely to honour her!"

Two middle names seem like a nice compromise or veto it and find something you both like.

2 middle names I'd say

Two middle names. A great compromise and also makes a really nice overall name.

I think Louise is a very traditional name, very much along the lines of Freddie and Henry. But there is really no need to 'match' siblings middle names anyway.

I also think it really doesn't matter much what your middle name is when you are grown up so I would be more than happy to compromise and let DH choose a name that will make people happy.

For what it's worth, I think Louise is very traditional - Princess Louise was one of Queen Victoria's daughters. Or could you have Louisa?

The two middle names seems like a nice option.

My DC have two middle names, one from my side, one from ex which also have a cultural meaning. I don't particularly like the names he choose, but they have have meaning, which is what matters.

I do think Louise is traditional though, it's got a similar lineage to Henry and is a very common middle name where I'm from

Must admit, I don’t think of Louise as a modern name at all also think it’s a pretty name, Louisa is lovely as well or as you say use two middle names, tbh though middle names are so rarely referred to I personally wouldn’t get that worked up about it, unless it was a truly horrific name.

Daisy - Prince Edwards daughter is also Louise. I think it is a lovely name and very traditional as well.

What about Ava Luisa?

As an aside, I would also consider Louise a rather traditional name. Certainly more traditional than Freddie.

When do you use a middle name? Really never. I don't think it matters much that you don't like it much, but it does seem like he's got his way more. Why didn't your other daughter get Louise as a middle name it meant so much to him? Fwiw, I'm not a fan of the name Louise, but I do actually think it sounds nice with Ava. Or what about Ava Louisa?

If you don't like it then don't use it. It seems to be your dh who is choosing most of the middle names so I would say no, it reminds you of your batshit auntie.

I think you're overthinking. No-one ever refers to anyone's middle names, you don't dislike it and it is actually a traditional name - it just became extremely popular in the 70s.

Louise is a pretty traditional name in my book but to keep the peace have two middle names.

Louise is a very old traditional name.

It’s a very unobjectionable name, it’s not like it’s Squire.

Why not let him have Louise and you choose one of your own.

In all honestly I haven't mentioned properly how much I dislike it to DH as I know how much it means to them and was hoping it would grow on me but it hasn't 🙈 Daughter didn't have it as a middle name because great grandmother was still alive when she was born. Like I said I really don't mind DH having the middle names as so far they have been names I've really liked anyway (both boys nearly had their middle names as first names) and we've chosen the first names together and actually second son has the name from one of my favourite things which DH hated but came round to even though I know he wasn't sure so don't feel I've compromised on names anywhere! Like I said also all my meaningful relatives are still with us and I would feel strange naming them after my favourite living relatives like I was writing them off! We had already decided on my great grandfathers name as a first name of this baby was a boy so DH isn't worried about honouring my family or anything like that!

I didn't think of Louise as being so traditional, I know Freddie isn't either it's short for Fredrick as his first name is also three syllables and the two together was such a mouthful we decided to shorten the middle name. I think the main thing putting me off is the thought of the outcast aunty, and the fact two aunties go by Louise and same surname as baby will have!

I didn't know if I was being unreasonable vetoing it and my pregnancy hormones were taking over so think I'll sit with DH tonight and speak properly about it and perhaps the two middle name can be a good compromise if he feels strongly he would like it in there as I think it sounds quite pretty and because they are quite short syllable names it's not too bad!

Louise used to be my middle name. I've always hated it. I changed my surname via deed poll and dropped the middle name at the same time!

What about using Louisa, Lois or Eloise?

Option 3 or go with Eloise or Louisa - these are both nicer than Louise imo

I would say go with Louisa, then it won't sound like the aunt you don't like, but DH still gets the name. Ava Louisa sounds really nice.

It’s my middle name along with over 20 people I know (that I can think off the top of my head). It’s boring. Please pick something else!!!