Middle name dilemmas

[Bananafritter]

First post here! Just looking for a little advice

It’s tradition in my family to give the children their grandparents middle names - my siblings and do, as well as my parents.

My DM has always said how important it was to her DM when I was given her name so I know my mum thinks it’s a big deal.

But, I don’t particularly like either of my parents names and they don’t go with the first names I’ve picked out.

I don’t think my mum would tell me she was hurt but I just know she would be and I can’t think of any way to compromise

Not sure what answers I’m expecting but maybe just wondering what other people would do?

Any shortenings you could live with?

It's difficult. Does she have a first or middle name that you could perhaps modernise?

Yeah, are there any shortenings you could live with? Or even similar names?

You're not under any obligation to give your child them middle names if you don't like them.

Do you mean you have to use both grandparents names ( e.g. your mothers and your husbands mothers). or only your mothers?
If it was just your mothers name, and you are not keen on it, then why not have two middle names (one you like, that will go with the first name, followed by your mothers name) iyswim

Do you mean both grandparents' names ie first name DM-name MIL-name Surname (if a daughter)?

If not, maybe you can say you don't want to give preference to one set of GPS, might upset your MIL etc.

Not keen on the shortening of DM’s name and neither is she so probably wouldn’t go for that.

I have grandmother on DM’s side as my middle name (which I hate) and the only reason I don’t have grandmother on other side is because she hates her name (which I actually like)

My brothers have grandfathers on both sides - one of my brothers also has my DF.

I think DF is less bothered so was thinking I could use my maiden name (which is also a boys first name) for a boy.

DH’s parents are also less bothered - it’s mostly my DM.

I feel I should maybe give baby if a girl DM name as I know it would make her happy but hating my own middle names puts me off.

Unless it's dreadful name I'd put it in, what's the harm? It'll get use on official documents and wedding day and that's about it. Could always add it as a second middle name

No don’t do it just to make your mum happy.

You don’t like your mums name (as a name, nothing to do with your mum) and you don’t like your middle name. Why inflict that on your child? What will you say to them in years to come, when they ask why you chose it?

It’s not a law that must be followed, it’s just something one family member did decades ago and then put emotional pressure on subsequent family members to follow suit.

Find a name you do like with the same meaning if you want a link and say we’ve chosen first name / middle name as we love them and middle name means xxxxx which is what mums name also means.

Or just pick the babes you like and feel your child will be happy to be known as

It's a nice tradition I guess, but at the end of the day it's you and your DHs baby, and if you don't like the name definitely don't use it ! Your mum will get over it I'm sure. Plus who even uses middle names .

I don't have in, neither does my DH or either of our children. I definitely wouldn't give them a name I don't like just to keep someone else happy

One of my middle names is from my grandmother. We used my mother and MIL’s names for DD. They’re not names I would have chosen otherwise, but that’s not really the point is it?

What’s your mum ‘s name?

What about if u let your DM pick ur daughters middle name instead of using her name?

Well its up to you I have. a friend, her middle names are after her grandmother. So her name is actually Saskia-Grace Eileen Maureen last name