Can I still use my baby name after friend has used it??

[Wordie]

So we’ve always been very open about our baby names. Max for a boy and Molly for a girl! We’ve been trying to get pregnant for over a year but planning it for the last 7 years. Anyway, I’m currently expecting our first baby and we found out we are having a boy. In my mind i’ve Already started calling him Max. However, our close friend has just given birth to twins and named her little boy Max. She told me she was sorry for taking that name but she doesn’t mind if I still call my baby Max.

I’m not sure what to do, it’s a common name and it’s not like I thought he would be the only one, but it now looks weird if I use it.

I’m trying to think of alternatives but really struggling!

The only other names I seem to like are Jack and Harry (can’t use Harry due to ex boyfriend) I think I like names that don’t get shortened and our surname is unusual, so I like to the more commonly used/popular first names.

Can anyone think of others I might like or do I go ahead and name him Max?

Thanks xx

If you love that name I would just use it!

Jack is great too though.

I would use it.
I think if you don't you will kick yourself in a few years time.
Lovely name :)

Certainly still use it if it's the name you love best. It's good your friend was up front about it. Max is such a popular name I don't think it's an issue. I love Jack.

Macsen
Magnus
Rafe
Ned
Jory
Lex
Kip
Ted
Kit
Frank

Use it. Your friend was obviously aware you liked it, and has been upfront so I'd say go for it. Max is lovely.

I know no-one owns a name, but this was a bit of a dick move by your friend.

Jo(h)n
Finn
Ben

Just use it. I like Max

Once my son was born I couldn't use the name we had chosen for him. It really didn't suit him and I couldn't even look at my son and call him that name. After 5 days we changed it. I still like the original name but it wasn't right for my son.
Once born you might realise that you son's real name is Augustus or Percival, but if he is a Max that will be fine too.
Congratulations.

I think it depends a bit how close a friend she is, and how closely intertwined your children’s lives will be a result. Will they be going to school together, for example? If so I would choose something else...

When I had my son, a friend who gave birth about a month later used the same name. We weren’t super close friends but live near each other so the children will likely encounter each other for years to come. I was really annoyed she used the name to be honest - I think it’s a bit unfair on the children! It also sent me a message that she doesn’t view our friendship as that important. Like she was saying, she can’t see us having a significant presence in each other’s lives in the future?

I’m probably being overly sensitive and of course she has every right to name her child whatever she wants, but our friendship will never be the same again...

Maximus with nn Max!!

She told me she was sorry for taking that name but she doesn’t mind if I still call my baby Max.

So she knew beforehand that you planned on using it. I'd still use the name.

It depends which name you love most. If it's max then go for it but Jack is also a lovely name and as PP have said if you live close by or the children will be raised together it could be confusing and annoying. Wait until he is born and see which name he suits best

Thanks ladies!!

@Astronica we must have very similar taste, I love your suggestions. Especially Ned!

I do love Max and I’m glad everyone thinks it’s still ok.

@Monkeytoucher no we don’t live close and we probably see them every 6 weeks but we would class them as close friends. We will probably see them to socialise with the babies, birthday parties and BBQs etc. It sounds like a good thing you are not friends with her anymore!!

I think if I wait to decide and keep a few choices. I can make a decision once he is here!!

Thank you for being nice too, I half expected people to tell me to get over myself and stop being pathetic 😂

Yes, use it. DH's close friend's son is called Jude, and we're currently expecting DS2. We do have one other name, but Jude has been my favourite for years (well second favourite after DS1's name!) and it's not unusual. I actually told the friend's DP it was on our list when she was pregnant, as she said it was one of their possible names too. They won't go to the same school and in reality we never see them anyway!

I probably wouldn’t but that’s just personal preference! I do like Max though.

Use the name! your friend has already said they don't mind so go ahead.
It's quite nice that two Max(es) are growing up together, Max 1 & 2 depending on which is born first.

It's quite nice that two Max(es) are growing up together, Max 1 & 2

Not sure that's so nice As a teacher it is rather annoying.

I'd choose another name.

Max is lovely but definitely v popular.
I like Rex...?

You could go Maxwell or Maximillian or even Maximus on the birth certificate just to give a bit of difference and then he can be Max day to day...

It's fine to use it OP. I'd be a bit miffed in your shoes though, bit sneaky of your friend.

What about Magnus? Personally I think it's nicer than Max.

💙Max

I would definitely use it if you can’t find something else you like as much. In a few years from now using the same name really won’t seem as important as it does to you now and you’ll probably kick yourself for worrying and not choosing the name you love. Honestly after three kids I sometimes look back at names I discounted for what seemed like important reasons at the time and now I think why on earth did I care! All that’s really important is that you choose something you really like.

I have a Jack and we call him Jay or Jackie.

I would definitely use it - especially as you have loved this name for a long time.
Other suggestions, just in case:

Zac
Jed
Dominic (Dom)
Kai
Leo
Leon
Noah

It’s common enough to get away with it imo. If she had chosen something ultra rare and you used it too it would be a lot weirder.

I may be the oy person who hates the name Jack, it's far too popular here. I know one Max and love the name, I wouldn't care if my friend had used the name, there aren't many traditional and nice boys names.