Help we cant agree!

[Katelmila]

So me and my partner are expecting our first child in december, and we are having a boy which we are supper excited about.
My partner lost his Brother at a young age and wanted to call our son after his, originally i agreed to this and his middle name to follow my familys traditions of Gilbert he would also take my partners last name as we arent married i wouldn't share the same last name.
As time has gone on im really not keen on the name any more which is Carl so i told my partner that im not keen on the name and that he would have his Brother s full name and that i wanted our son to have his own identity.
My partner has got really upset about this and feels like i dont understand. He gets that he is my child too and that we have to agree but he only Carl after his brother. So i was just wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to what to do as we cant come to an agreement on any name.
Please no nasty comments.
Thank you
X

Perhaps look to using Carl as his middle name?

It is hard as you initially agreed, but if you are uncomfortable with it, then you need to work together to a solution.

Perhaps you could ask him where he would compromise? Middle name? surname? So that you have some room for negotiation

Aw that's a tricky situation. How about using Carl as a nickname and calling him something like Carlisle (which I love)

Carl is actually variant of Charles. Does either you or your partner like Charles instead as a compromise?

Either that or maybe a compromise about using Carl as a one of the middle names instead of a first. Carl Gilbert or Gilbert Carl would work as middle names I think.

I understand why your partner is upset, but try discussing it with him again and explain how you're feeling about all of this.

That's so hard (and weird as I went to school with a Carl Gilbert!).

I think the baby should have a totally different, new name. Use Carl and Gilbert as middle names.

Good luck, and try not to stress until baby is here as you might both feel differently then

I think calling a baby after someone is generally a bad idea, especially as it’s seldom the same person will have mattered equally to both parents of the baby. Give the baby his own name, and your surname. There is absolutely no reason at all for him to have your partner’s surname.

Or combine the two and call him Carlbert?

Karl as a mn instead?

We had a very similar situation naming our ds. My DH wanted to name him after his family line (every eldest boy has the same name), and I agreed to it as his middle name was going to be my grandad's name. However, as time went on I became really uncomfortable about the name and wanted our ds to have his own name, so we compromised, came up with an original first name and bumped the family name to a middle name - now everyone just laughs about how much of a mouthful his name is because he has two middle names (but let's face it, middle names are never used!)

Op does his surname start with M?

Ah, what a tricky situation. It's obviously very emotional for your husband.

What names do you like?

I understand your partner wanting to honour his brother, but I’d put my foot down at Carl as well, it’s not a nice name. I’d do it for a middle name though, he could have both Gilbert and Carl.

What about carlos?

You could offer to drop Gilbert as a compromise and just have Carl as middle name to make it more special?

Give the child your surname, if you marry it’s easy to change to his surname, if you don’t he shares a surname with the woman who carried him all that time.

Offer Carl as a middle name.

Pick a first name you actually like

Have you made any decisions op ?