Would you judge me if I changed my baby's name? 3mo

[gladtown]

Hi,

Having a difficult time with DD's name. Registered it and regretted it.

Honestly I was really depressed in pregnancy and didn't give a toss about names. I know that sounds horrible. I am so bloody ashamed and embarrassed looking back. I just wanted it registered and done. I am in a much better frame of mind now and I am absolutely gutted that I didn't choose my favourite name for her.

She is 3 months now. Husband thinks we should change it as he's gone off the name as well.

And no, sorry I am not posting the names. I read a thread like this where the mum had volunteered the names and the entire thread turned into "Oh but I like X name better than Y" and vice versa. I just want to gauge the reaction of doing something like this.

Husband's told his mum and dad, sister and brother. Mum and dad didn't bat an eye. Sister laughed and said "you are having a hard time with names aren't you", said it will be a funny story and said it is going to be difficult for her to adjust. Brother sat on the phone in silence and said "I don't get it but it's your business". I told my mum and dad and they said no big deal. Aunt says "I get it, it's not weird"

I want you to be totally honest with me, what would your reaction be if I was an acquaintance, friend, or family member and I told you I had made a mistake and was changing DD's name? This seems a bit uncommon and I am feeling quite a bit daft about it, but I really want people to give me their true reactions.

And be honest, do you think DD is going to care about this when she gets older?

Defiantly not would I judgge you.
A name is hard decision. You've got to be 100% hot on it.
However do it sooner rather than later because give it a few months she'll know her name.

I agree just do it. It fairly early. Yes people might judge you. I would think it is odd. But everyone has their reasons and who cares? Better change it now than be stuck with a name neither you or your husband are fond of. As PPs have said, people will forget in a few months.

I don't think you've screwed up at all. I think you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. It's often a hard decision for any parent, let alone if you are also depressed in the early days.

It really is no big deal. Think about it this way - why is there a process that enables you to change the name in the first twelve months? Because one or two idiots screw it up each year or because plenty of responsible, loving parents change their mind as they get to know their baby?

Change it. Keep her current name as a middle name if you like. It will be fine. Really it will.

Tbh, I would wonder if you had PND - when I read threads about changing a baby's name it does seem that a majority of people who feel differently about their baby's name are suffering. Hope that's not the case here, although the canvassing of the entire family on the subject does make me wonder! Hope you are OK, OP.

If you are going to change her name just do it, not everyone is going to agree. It's not possible to say how your DD will feel, I think the original name will still be on the certificate so she will know.

You are under pressure to name your child immediately. Remember all the fuss on here when the royal babies' names took a while to be announced.
Let's suppose you named your daughter Aurora but changed your mind and have from a few weeks been calling her Katie, then why not get the birth certificate changed from Aurora Louise Town to Katie Aurora Town. Job done.

Under a year old you get a brand new bc with no mention of the previous bc.

SassitudeandSparkle I do think I have a bit of PND but its a cause not a side effect if that makes sense. I just can't believe how bad my mental health was to have really contributed to the situation! I've found a name for her that fits just right. I just wish I'd have been in the right state of mind during pregnancy so I'd have sorted it all out then. Makes me feel bloody inept

If you were relative of mine I would tell you to change it as soon as you have a new name that you love. Even keep her original name as a middle name. It won't affect her in any way, don't worry

I wouldn't judge you at all, it's none of my business and wouldn't be even if you were family. If you had been very depressed I would just be happy you were getting better.

Definitely just change it and move on and spend your time enjoying your newly named baby instead. I’d just think ‘good for you for having the guts to change it’ if I thought anything at all. Will make an interesting story as you’re meeting people at baby groups etc, if you want to share that is

I changed my baby's name recently at 4 months. Best decision, I am no longer googling baby name regret every night and it is surprising how easily people have adapted to new name without asking questions 😂

Honestly, I think you'd be weird not to change it if you don't like it, especially as your DH doesn't like it either.
It's much easier to change a baby's name before they're 12 months old, presumably because many people suffer from name regret.

Change it, no one will care in the slightest! Sooner the better :)

Change it! Don't worry about there being a box on the new birth certificate! How often do you look at that in life? Change it to the name you love! X

Do it. It’s no big deal if you’re fine with it - in six months time people won’t even remember she ever had the original name! Don’t even think about it, she’s so young and won’t have a clue what her name is yet.

I work in childcare and remember one of the parents telling me that her daughter's middle name had started off as her actual name. All the congratulations cards were about the arrival of Isobel and a little while later they decided she was not Isobel! Kept the middle name so the cards were still hers.

Also I grew up being called by my middle name and it's been a nightmare! Change it now to something you like and it will not be a problem.