Favourite name, dad’s ex girlfriend

[KindleKween]

My favourite girl’s name is Caroline. Dh really likes it too, and we want to use it if dc is a girl.

The problem is that my dad’s main significant other prior to meeting my mother (who he was with for most of his twenties and early thirties) was called Caroline. They didn’t part on bad terms as far as I know, and still send Christmas cards every year, but I’ve never met her and it hadn’t even crossed my mind that it was her name.

I was talking names with my mum the other day, and mentioned that we liked Caroline for a girl, and my mum said that she thought it would be weird given that it was my dad’s ex’s name.

Would this stop you using a name? Surely once dd (if it’s a girl) is born, the name would become hers in their minds? (They haven’t seen this other Caroline in at least 25 years as far as I know).

Your mum clearly has an issue with/harbours feelings of jealousy about your Dad's ex. Do you think you could talk to her as to whether it would cloud or change how she feels about her granddaughter if you named her Caroline?

Tricky. My instant feeling is that this really wouldn’t matter, it’s not like it’s an awful connection with associated bad feeling or anything, but, I know I couldn’t use a name my mum felt strongly against.

I’d prob have another chat with her and confirm if she is actually against it, or just thinks it’s a bit weird but will quickly get over it!

FWIW I think it’s really pretty and love the nn Carrie.

I’m assuming she doesn’t have bad feeling per se towards the ex, as you mum came after her?

Use a different name

It's a lovely name.
Emphasize to your DM that you don't know the other Caroline, and you and your DP are choosing the name because you both like it. The other Caroline doesn't get to be the only Caroline in your world just because your dad went out with her decades ago.

Maybe it feels, to your mum, as if you’re naming your child after his ex and not your mother. Even if that’s not why you’re doing that, the ex may even end up thinking that and that’s not going to be nice for your mum.

Have you asked your dad how he feels? I think his feelings are more important here than your Mum’s tbh.

If it makes your dad uncomfortable, I would use it as a middle name.

I think it would be weird.

It’s not a nice name anyway.

• I think it would be weird.

It’s not a nice name anyway.*

^ as above.

It's an awful name- both bland and old fashioned. Sounds like a snarky librarian!

I didn’t want to be the first to say that, but I don’t like it either. It’s very old fashioned, but not in a good way. It’s just a bit blah.

Between your exes and exes of family members, school bullies, people you don't like at work, annoying celebrities etc you'd barely have any names left! If you love it, use it and give it a lovely new meaning. I doubt your mum and dad would look at their grandchild and see your dad's ex, or that anyone would think she's been named after the ex. You've never even met her!

To me I think it’s weird that anyone would even care about a name of an ex all those years ago who plays no significance in any of your lives. It was a very long time ago, if it was someone your dad had had an affair with or children with or something I would understand but just an ex? I would class it a non issue personally.

There are a million much nicer names that also wouldn't upset your Mum, just choose another
Your baby really wouldn't thank you for calling her Caroline anyway

I know a couple of little Carolines, lovely name.

Tbh I know the name of my dad’s first wife and my mum’s two serious boyfriends before they get married and as a result I probably wouldn’t use them, however if I did I wouldn’t expect my parents to object.

I love the name Caroline on the basis that every Caroline I've ever met has been a lovely person.

I'm surprised to see so many supporting your DM, usually on these threads the form is :

"Your DM (or MIL) named her children, you get to name yours and if her opinion is anything other than "How lovely" she can be told this"

Caroline is a wonderful name. Very much in keeping with all the George/Charlotte/Elizabeth names (i.e. names that were popular in the Georgian era) but a bit less common. Doesn't feel at all dated to me - the epitome of a "classic" name.

(And I've only known lovely ones!)

The other thing seems a non-issue to me, if you've never met the woman. Every name belongs to someone already. Maybe check with your mum whether it actually bothers her so much that it will upset her, or whether it was just something she mentioned off-hand. People's first reaction to a name isn't always their lasting impression, if you see what I mean.

Caroline is a super name, classic, yet fresh nowadays. I know a couple of baby Carolines, so it's been back for a little while. I think the whole ex-girlfriend of your dad's is a weird thing for anyone to get het up about, and very odd for your mum to mention it. It's a non-issue. If you like the name, use it.

Love the name Caroline. Perhaps Carolyn?