WWYD if your favourite boys name...

[DancingDakini]

Was the name of an ex?

For context, split up 14 years ago and both now happily married to other people.

Haven't seen him in about 5 years but we share the same friendship group and likely to see each other a mutual friends weddings etc.

I ended it with him but no hard feelings on either side, we were young and unsuited to each other. We dated on and off for about 3 years.

Would it be weird to give my son his name?

I think you know it's a big fat yes

I wouldn't do it . Maybe if it was a young teenage thing and you never seen him again..... but if you're still in touch with him and have mutual friends (who I assume know your history ) then no, I'd say don't do it

It would be weird to name your baby after an ex.

It is weird isn't it. Such a shame, he has such a lovely name.

If you like the name then go for it.

What does your DH think?

I think it's down to your present partner really?

If he were some boy you'd kissed a couple of times at school, I think you could get away with it, but dated for three years and have the same friendship group? Weird. Sorry!

Need to know what it is!

I think it's fine if it's a popular name that's also associated with other people, weird if it's a niche thing that will make everyone think of him.

So - Tom, fine, Nebuchadnezzar, not so much.

I have a DW now actually not a DH. Turns out boys weren't my thing.

Ex was apparently quite shocked when he heard the news.

DW loves the name too - we haven't talked about it being ex's name although she knows we used to date.

Before you posted you were in a same sex relationship I thought “weird” but I do think that changes things as there’s clearly not even the seed of doubt you’d be holding a torch for him any more! Whether that makes me horribly sexist or whatever who knows. So I say it’s fine.

I know a woman who loved their partner's ex's name. The couple discussed it and decided to use it for their DD as it was all water under the bridge and no unfinished business. Then years later he had an affair with his 'ex'.

It was an unusual name as well!

I think it depends on what the name is.

I would say that if you haven't seen them in 5 years then it's not a close friendship group. Are there similar sounding names?

Although you have got me really intrigued to what the name is!

I had this problem. I couldn't use it. It wouldn't be weird for me if I had no connections to my ex (just a juvenile relationship when we were young - not really serious but went on a few years) but my ex still lives in the same town and still has the same friends as he did when we were 19 and together. I have his friends on social media still and they're funny/a bit annoying and I KNEW they'd just have an absolute field day if I gave my son my ex's name. They'd use it to take the piss out of him pretending that I had named my son after him or that I was still in love with him or something (just their sense of humour - they like to wind people up! And I don't care if they wind him up but I thought it would be so embarrassing incase anyone actually believed it!)

Before you posted you were in a same sex relationship I thought “weird” but I do think that changes things as there’s clearly not even the seed of doubt you’d be holding a torch for him any more!

Yeah, because no one ever fancies both men and women. Oh, wait.

Yeah, because no one ever fancies both men and women. Oh, wait.

She already said she wasn’t interested in “boys” any more. So fuck off with the sneakiness.

*snarkiness

Well, I'm going to buck the trend on this thread and say if you are all cool with it, it's absolutely OK. You and he have both moved on, you have an amicable relationship but aren't besties or anything - especially if the name isn't that unusual, I'd say go for it.

Actually the name we've chosen for a boy is the same as one of my (female) exes. It didn't even occur to me until recently. We're a world away from who we were when we were together, and there are no hard feelings.

Yeah, I think because you're now in a long term same sex relationship it's fine to use an ex boyfriend's name, especially if your DW also likes the name. Don't know why the fact that it's a same sex relationship changes that but it does.