Has anyone regretted changing a baby's name AFTER they were born/registered?

[tiffysaccount]

Bit of a dilemma here, I've posted on AIBU but I think it would be helpful for me to ultimately make a decision if I ask this here specifically. Personal experiences would be absolutely phenomenal.

We've named our DD Abigail and I've gone off it. I never really loved the name to begin with actually. I thought it would grow on me but it has not. Last minute name choice brought up by DH. Unfortunately she's been registered but only a couple months old and doesn't know her name. We are in the US, they come round with the birth certificate at hospital, I cried before filling it out as I just wasn't sure and I just gave in because I was so stressed and rushed. I wanted to name her something else that felt totally right but didn't for silly reasons. Cried for about 6 weeks straight wishing I'd have went with my other choice.

I have DH's full blessing to change it, he likes the other name as well. We've actually brought this up to both my inlaws and parents and all four are very supportive of whatever we decide.

I've got a tendency to obsess over things though. I'm feeling immense guilt for wanting to change it, like I'm changing a part of DD. Then when I look back at bringing her home from hospital are those memories going to be tainted? I'm afraid I'll change it then I'll obsess and guilt trip and feel stupid about this for years on. My worst fear is changing it then realising in the future that I should have kept her original name after all.

I do need to stop waffling and make a decision though. I'm only going to agonise until it's done and she's only getting older.

I've been reading stories of baby name regret and most people seem to feel nothing but positive after changing a baby's name. I've read the odd story or two of those who regretted it as well. Hoping to hear your stories, details, how you felt, or if it was someone else how they felt. Thank you xx

Meant to add, I wondered if it was a bit of PPD so I got on medication, that just made me feel like a robot and made me apathetic about everything including the name situation. Still didn't like it on the meds. I had some side effects I didn't like so I tapered off. I feel really emotional about this but perhaps it's a much smaller deal than I've made it out to be, changing it.

We barely called our son by his name until he was about six months old! Until then we mainly called him Sausage, for some reason!

You should definitely change it. It’s not a part of her yet, and it’s not really as important as it feels. Just do it - get it over with!

I know of Someone who changed their baby's name at around 4 months. I'm in the UK. You get 6 week after birth to register them, here and can change their name without any problems until theyre 12 months old.
If you and your dh are both up for changing it
She obviously doesn't know her name, yet
You don't like the name.
I'd certainly cHAnge it.

To be honest, it sounds like there is something more going on here than just the name. I would be concerned that your obsession of the name is symptomatic of a much bigger issue. You say you've been medicated, but have you actually spoken with someone about how you're feeling? Someone impartial, I mean, not your husband/family/friends.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I think you're being very dramatic and making a big deal out of something which isn't really a big deal. (As a previous poster said, it makes me wonder if this is really all about the name or if there's a bigger issue?) At a couple of months old she doesn't know her name, and I remember when my daughter was born she didn't really grow into her name until she was bigger (I personally felt that she was so tiny and new that no name suited her! I called her baby for a long time!) It really doesn't make any difference to her and if you hate her name then you should definitely change it. I read your other post on AIBU and read that you hate the name Abi and have negative connotations with that name. I know so many girls called Abigail and literally every single one of them has shortened their names to Abi. Even if they don't do it personally, I expect other people will call her Abi and there's really nothing you can do about it. Just change it! The more time you spend fussing and worrying about it, the older she will get, and the weirder it will seem changing her name. At 2 months old it's no big deal. If you wait even just four months to do it, she will be 6 months old and it will probably seem like a much bigger deal to you. If it makes you feel any better, my cousin changed her daughters name at 4 months old and everyone instantly agreed that it was a good idea as she wasn't happy with the name and had be worrying and obsessing about it. I very much doubt the memories of your daughter's birth will be tainted by such a small issue as a name change at a few weeks old. If you hate the name Abi, and your daughter is named Abigail, you will just be getting yourself into an entire life of stress and irritation as I guarantee pretty much everyone she meets will call her Abi.

Haven’t you already posted about this?

It's a nice name.

thanks ladies for everything.

I know this is a deeper issue yes. It's both the name and mental health. I have issues with low self esteem so I really feel like I'm not quite good enough and I look at every mistake I make under a microscope.

The name was a stupid last minute decision. Other people may think it's a lovely name and I do too objectively but it's just not right for us I don't think.

Like I said, just a bit concerned I'll feel this way years on really. Regret that this situation happened.

IMO, when I read on MN about people hating the name it does come across as being a completely different issue tbh. You do seem quite obssesive about this OP, are you like this with other issues as well as this one? Just with you describing the meds as making you feel 'apathetic' about everything (including the name) makes me think that you might be very anxious about things in general. If that's true, a name change isn't going to help unfortunately.

Would you consider speaking to your doctor or midwife again about PPD?

@SassitudeandSparkle I have a tendency to get a bit obsessive over things, I really truly think it's a combination of both making a mistake on the name and then obsessing over how to fix it. It just seems like a bit of a nightmare really, having a name I really wanted for her then feeling rushed into something else! These two factors sort of play off each other and cause it to spin out of control.

However everything else is going absolutely fantastic, I love my life, love my DD and DH, I have hope for the future like I've never had before- it's just when I think of her name that I feel a deep sadness.

I'm going to see a therapist I think just to help me get to the bottom of these emotions as I know I shouldn't feel guilt over changing the name- everyone makes mistakes, I just can't for some reason allow myself to make any. x

I think you should spend a month calling her by the new name and tell yourselves you have done it. Live the life you would be doing if you have name changed. Then you will know if you regretted it or whatever.
I think you should turn this in to a positive. It really doesn't have to be a big deal. I have 2 names and have all my life been known by my middle name. Why did my parents not call me Ann Margaret and not Margaret Ann? Who knows. Doesn't matter.
Regarding looking back....there's nothing wrong with looking back and saying "remember when Daisy was called Abigail?! How funny!" My friends daughter has just gender changed and when people ask how is Jodie? His mum says Jodie is now Jamie. Job done. It's ok.

That's a great idea! Effectively change her name before legally changing her name. Tell everyone to call her the new name and get rid of anything that says 'Abigail' if you have anything (or at least put it in the attic!). Announce that you've changed her name and live as though you have and then see how you really feel after a month. The fact it, it sounds like you just CAN'T keep Abigail. You really seem to dislike it and you seem very very sure that it's not the right name.. you just need the courage to change it now! Don't worry so much and give it a test run starting today!

This is a bit controversial, but we've changed our babies name at 15 months and the only regret I have is not doing it sooner. I battled with worries about what people would think and thought our feelings towards the name would grow but the name just seemed to suit her less and less. Funnily enough, when we told people we were changing it, no one cared in the slightest! The hardest one to convince however, was my toddler

Change it OP, do what feels right, she'll never know. and don't be so hard on yourself

there's nothing wrong with looking back and saying "remember when Daisy was called Abigail?! How funny!"

^ I met someone recently who volunteered the fact that her parents had changed her name a few months after she was born. It's just a funny anecdote for her, a weird piece of trivia. It doesn't have to be embarrassing or scar the kid for life.

Slightly different because it was only for a few hours after his birth, but we initially gave DS2 a different name. It was DH’s choice but to me it just didn’t feel right, so I told him we’d have to change it. Fortunately DH agreed with me! DS2 finds it hilarious and fascinating that he was initially called George, and every now and then asks things like “would I be different if George was my first name?” We kept it for his middle name!