Have had baby names picked out forever but DH doesn’t love it?

[elizabetter]

We have just found out bump is a girl and I’m so excited ( I was secretly hoping for a healthy girl baby)
Since I was maybe 16, looking back on it it’s strange since I was defo not hoping to be a young mum, I’ve been set on calling my DD Margot and I know it’s had a recent surge in popularity but it really doesn’t put me off. But DH isn’t a fan and I know I can’t name our DD a name he doesn’t like but I’m just hoping he’ll come around. Any ways you can think of to make him fall in love with the name?

Wait until she is born, and in his arms, he'll love her so much, he might go along with it. Here's hoping ! 😄

How about Mabel?

Think you might have to compromise on something else.
Would you agree to a name that he loved and you didnt?

I think you’ll have to settle on Margot as a middle name and find a name you both like.
It’s hard, but I couldn’t imagine being forced to accept my child being given a name I didn’t like, far worse than them not having my favourite name.

Watch despicable me? The girls in it are Margot, Edith and Agnes. He might get attached to the name through the characters.

I don't think it's reasonable to be set on using any name until you've both agreed. You could try Margaret if he likes that and call her Margot as a nn?

• to answer your question, I think you are unlikely to change his mind, it’s a preference, not a viewpoint that you can change through cogent argument or presenting him with new information.

I don’t like the name William, it reminds me of a boy at primary school who always had green and yellow bogey candles which he wiped on his sleeves. I know other people like it and it’s a fine venerable favourite but nothing, not even the birth of our own dear Prince (doffs cap) when I was a teenager - has made me feel any differently.

You chose Margot when you were too young and before you’d met the man you were actually going to have a child with. It’s like planning your wedding down to the last detail before you’ve even had a first date. Fun, but not real life.

Let Margot go. She’s your fantasy daughter. You’ve got a real one on the way, with an actual real life father, whose opinion on her name is more important than your teenage fantasy.

Let Margot go nobody want to be called that!

Let Margot go. She’s your fantasy daughter. You’ve got a real one on the way, with an actual real life father, whose opinion on her name is more important than your teenage fantasy.

Exactly this.

You’ll have to give it up, but will be worth it when you find the name you both love.

This reminds me of my 24 year old single male colleague telling me that if he had a son in the future, he would be called Victor. I just nodded and smiled.

Of course I wouldn’t name our child a name he didn’t love! I was just hoping I could convince him to love it to although I know that that is probably impossible as there are names that I will just never like. maybe I’ll start suggesting awful names so he begins to like Margot We’ll have to frequent the drawing board

Maybe try a site like www.namedtogether.com with him? Perhaps there's another name you both like just don't know yet.

I'm not sure if that link is not working but you can google it or try www.namedtogether.com

I had my heart set on Freddie for DS. I kept saying it over and over to DP but it didn’t make an ounce of difference. He didn’t like it so we settled on a different name.

Hedda has the right idea. I adored certain names before we had our 3 DC, so did my DP. Unfortunately they weren't the same names! So we compromised, used similar names we could agree on, used them as middle names, etc etc. I love our children's names now, and they ARE their names, of course. You'll work it out.

The really important thing is you don't get into the trap of you suggesting names, him vetoeing them. That leads to the person with no ideas deciding, while the person who cares and puts the effort in, loses out.

Both write long lists. Veo, discuss, form a joint short list. Go from there.

What names does he like, and which others appeal to you?

Let Margot go. She’s your fantasy daughter. You’ve got a real one on the way, with an actual real life father, whose opinion on her name is more important than your teenage fantasy.

So much this. I'm in the same position as you, OP - DP hates the girls' name I've always loved (we don't know the sex yet so it might be a moot point). I tried asking him if there were any circumstances in which he wouldn't veto it (nope), or negotiating that if we have like 3 daughters I can call the last one that (nope, although I still kind of cling to that dream). But to be honest, it's our baby. I feel OK about compromising on a name because I'm not just dreaming up a fantasy-baby, I'm about to live my real life with a man I love and a child I've longed for. The name is such a small part of that picture.

He and I have both regretfully relinquished the boys' names we loved, and come up with one we both love just as much. Still figuring out a girls' name, but I really like knowing that whatever we end up with, we chose together, and wasn't a result of one of us steamrolling the other.