Does it matter if it’s popular?

[littlemisssunshine81]

It seems to me that lots of people are on the hunt for that ‘unusual but not too unusual’ name nowadays. Consequently the unusual but not too unusual names have become the most popular, so they aren’t that unusual anymore. When I was at school everyone was called Leanne or Michelle and Steven or David. I don’t see those names coming back that soon into the ‘most popular list’. But does it matter? Would your chosen name being in the top 20 list put you off??

At a national level, there’s probably a big difference in the numbers of kids having the 5th most popular name and the 15th most popular - but on a school to school level? Not so much

You mean because there's likely to be very few in each school anyway? I do agree. People always go on about "3 in every class" but it's extremely unlikely statistically to have 3 of even the number one name in one 30-person class.

But it's not just about school years though, I guess. My name has been top 10 for decades, and while there were only 3 others in my year at school, I also meet at least one other at basically every place I work, there were tons at uni, my siblings all have at least one friend with my name, etc. It's ubiquitous among my generation. And I guess my point really is that in those terms, the 10-20th placed names (which also tend to change more often) are quite a long way from those long-term top 5 or so names.

There was only 12 Oliver's registered in my city the year DS was born despite it being 1st (or perhaps 2nd) on the list that year

But your Oliver is unlikely to stay in that city his whole life. And he won't only meet Oliver's born in that year but those born over the past 10 or so years!

Personally I'm aware that I probably only like those popular names because everyone else does, and that if I was born 30 years ago, I'd probably like a whole different set of names. And I don't like society telling my subconscious what to do! So I steered clear. F you, society!

I didn't even know people consulted top 100 lists until a friend was stressing about finding a not too popular name.

Exactly. Sharon, Clive, Nigel, Tracy, Stephen were all babies once and their names were popular because they were so nice!

I have a super popular name, so was one of about 8 in a year of 130-odd at school. Now, in the real world, it's much rarer and I love my name much more. So no, it wouldn't bother me so much.

And the statistics don't reflect what's going on in the circles you move in. I know three Scouts, which isn't exactly a popular name.

Having never met someone else with my name, yes it would bother me if DD was in a class With others of the same name

I think you just need to pick a name you love, whether it’s popular or not. And popular names do have one main benefit in this day and age - it will make your child less google-able when they’re older! If they’re called a really bizarre name, there’s no mistaking it’s them on a google search (by a potential employer for example). We have a fairly common surname and will probably choose a fairly classic first name for our expectant son, just because we like it. I’ve been a nanny for the past 10 years and had to deal with the awkwardness of people asking at the park/school ‘what’s this little one called’ and having to tell them a really obscure name and watch their faces fall as they try and work out if I’m having them on or not. I also got given an unusual spelling for my first name, and had a weird maiden name, and the constant spelling it out drove me nuts.

Definitely a geographic factor. I've only ever met two Oliver's in my whole life. One a twenty something from London and one a 50 something from South Africa. Not many little Oliver's here in Central Scotland.

DS1 is called Oliver. It wasn't even in the top 100 boy's names in the year he was born.

Many people, especially entrepreneurs, want to be google-able!

We've got loads of Oliver's in Edinburgh DementedMa - it was the second name in Scotland last year. Looking at the breakdown of top names by council it looks to be a bit of a city name (lots in Glasgow too).

You do get funny clustering though, Max is 24 in Scotland, something like number 5 in Edinburgh (given to less than 30 kids that year in Edin) yet we at one point had 6 in one after school club. Plus all the kids who technically have different names but all go by very similar or identical sounding variants (Elle/Ella/Ellie/Isabella known as Ella/etc etc)

Personally it would put me off. I have an unusual name, and I've only ever met less than a handful of others in my life. As a shy child it was a bit awkward for me explaining the pronunciation etc but I love it as an adult. I am never referred to by my surname, and feel it is a significant part of my identity in a way that I don't think it is with more popular names. I wouldn't go out of my way to choose an incredibly unusual name, but something being in the top 50 would put me off.

I have a Sophie she’s the only one in her class it’s completely luck of the draw to be honest. I picked the name because I liked it

I thought I was choosing a less common name for my DS (Nathan, popular a few years ago but less so now). However I've now discovered that the trend for baby names in my area is:

Girls = Old Ladies (Iris, Ivy, Penelope, Mabel)
Boys = Old Testament (Nathaniel, Gabriel, Isaiah, Elijah)

So he'll probably be the only Nathan, but one of many Nathaniels. And I'm much less bothered about than I thought I'd be before he arrived.

I have a name that dates me to the 80s. I was one of 2-3 in my class (and its actually still top 50 now)

I really like it! It makes me feel part of my peer group, and no one ever bats an eyelid at my name. I have a friend with a name that is popular now who was bullied for their name at school.

There's no benefit that I can see of being 10-20 years ahead of the trend. Agree that the popular names are popular because they are lovely, and everyone likes them. Or, there's nothing massively wrong with them!

I personally wince when I meet someone with a name that is unusal but that has an unfortunate meaning.
E.g:
Persophone - kidnapped and raped by the Lord of the underworld
Tristan n- means sorrow
Delores/Lola - sorrow again
Blade - just why.

I think partly the fear of a name 'dating' you is a weird sexism. I mean, a 40 year old woman is a 40 year old woman, regardless of whether she is called Ivy, Sharon or Demi-Lee. Trying to get a name that is impossible to date is weird as if you know them even vaguely you'll know how old they are. Better to be identifiable as part of your generation than bullied and embarrassed of being the only Gaylord/Percy/Bertha born in 2018

Our DD is Lily. Everyone moaned that it was common and there would be loads in her class.

She's the only one.

Dorasbob I'm one of the people who don't like the idea of a name dating. I'm not sure it's sexism though as for me it applies to boys names and girls name.

I did have a think after I read your comment to try and think whether there's some subconscious ageism at play but....I don't know. I don't think so. It's more about not wanting a name to carry with it more obvious connotations, age being one but youth or advancing years equally. I'm thinking more about judgements being made before relationships are formed. Like professional contact and so on.

And I guess maybe not wanting to appear as though the name choice is a result of a fad, because I guess that implies a certain amount of "sheep like" behaviour, or trying to be interesting in name choice yet failing. Not that it's a particularly worthy reason! I'm not sure I've explained it well, and you've certainly given me pause for thought.

It's strange how invariably threads on popularity end up with people saying "I'd rather my DS was called Oliver and had 3 classmates with the same name than be bullied for being called Rodney or Superted".

This applies to almost all threads on Mumsnet but some people seem to really hate middle ground. It's perfectly possible to call your DS something like Dominic (115th) or Owen (121st) and they will never be bullied for it, nobody will ever ask how to pronounce it, and they'll still rarely meet another person with their name. Simple.

Yes it would bother me massively! My daughters name was only entered into the records last year though so I'm sure we'll be okay 🤞

It doesn't matter if you child is going to be the best (e.g. Ella). But if not they could well end up called fat Ella, speccy Ella, ugly Ella, stupid Ella etc.. You have to differentiate some way.

Coatsandats - its interesting isn’t it.

I think some of the ‘sheep like behaviour’ is actually generations withh the same cultural reference points having children at the same time. E.g Harry, my generation grew up with Harry Potter, and for me its a lovely positive name because of this that I associate with goodness/attractive qualities. Obviously lots of people who grew up reading the books feel the same, so Harry becomes very popular. But all of those people have a personal reason to use he name, rather than just thinking ‘oooh bob and Sarah down the road called their son Harry, so I will too..’

And when all he Harry’s are 20-30, they’ll be the cool generation like the Hannah’s/charlottes/Jameses now and it will be a ‘standard’ name, then in their 40s/50s it’ll be uncool and a ‘dads name’, then in their 70s/80s it will come back round and they’ll be telling their children/grandchildren that their mum and Dad named them after their favourite book series or whatever....

I love it!

Knowing a name was currently #1 would put me off a bit I think even if I loved the name but in reality the names will duplicates in the same class often aren't top 10 so I don't think it is worth getting too upset about

In my DD's primary class of 30 there were duplicate Matthews & Camerons neither of which were top 10 in 2002/2003

In my DS's primary class there were 4 Millies at one point plus duplicate Elliott, again neither were top 10 in 2004/2005

OTOH Chloe was #1 in the year my DD was born but I've never come across a Chloe her age

My name is unusual - I was the only one in my school of 1200 students, when everyone else was called Susan, Debbie etc.

Frankly I yearned to be called Susan or Debbie.

I personally would try not to pick from the top 5 but I'm naturally disinclined to pick outside the top 50 (more like 30). I would pick Peter over Ptolemy but would avoid Oliver / George / Harry probably because i have got sick of hearing them. I would try to choose a timeless classic but likely to end up not far off trend. I love my own name it's simple, timeless, classic and can't be misspelled or pronounced.