Why on mumsnet do people think their children’s names have to “go” together ?

[Smallhorse]

I’ve never come across this in real life. Eg “ suggestons for name for sister for Toby and Freddie? “ I really don’t get it.

It is critical for the Christmas cards to have a nice name flow.

I don't get it either - I think it's silly. I named both my children because I liked the names and they meant something to me - the idea that the names should "go together" never entered my head. Some people have too much time on their hands I guess.

You’ll spend the rest of your life saying those names closely together, I can see why people want them to flow and not sound clunky.

Partly people are just giving their existing names to illustrate their taste. Toby and Freddie's sister gives people an idea that the poster likes a certain type of name and might me more likely to be enthusiastic about the suggestion of Alice or Clara than Madison or Trinity...

Because if you have one child called Jane and another something outlandish/yoonique then a) it sounds ridicolous every time you introduce them and b) one or other of them will spend a lifetime asking their parents why the fuck they were called and their sibling .

I think there is some logic that the names will be harmonious. So Nigel and Persephone don't necessarily "go" but Poppy and Oscar do.

You’ll spend the rest of your life saying those names close together . You really, really won’t. The children are separate individuals, that is the whole point.

It’s about having a coherent and meaningful family brand. Everyone knows that sibset Sophie, Thomas and George = trad (U)MC family, not rocking the boat, private school, good personal hygiene, detached older house with mature garden, no divorces in family.

Also avoiding names which are too similar, might be shortened to the same thing, sound like two halves of the same name (Anna and Bella, Alfie and Freddie...), are the names of a famous or notorious couple or for any other reason would sound ridiculous said/ called out together etc etc

Ditto the threads asking for middle names. Why do they need a middle name?

Iamagreyhound you won't spend your life calling their names out, no, but it does happen frequently during childhood in most families.

I think it borders on obsessive here. But having said that, I do find it odd in real life when I come across siblings with names at opposite ends of the spectrum, so I suppose on some subconscious level most people choose names that 'go together'.

I heard a woman calling out "Cain and Abel hurry up!" in a zoo once; I assume that they were friends not siblings!

Iamagreyhound I generally feed both my kids at the same time. They're invited to family events at he same time. I call them in from playing outside at the same time. People ask me how are X and Y. We sign cards from A, B, X and Y. Maybe not their whole life but while they're living in our house their names are often mentioned together, and even as adult siblings for family things our names often occur together. They are individual but they're also a sibling group.

Cain may have been Kane I guess - still sounded unfortunate out loud!

I didn't consult MN about names but how they go together was one of our considerations.

Well because you wouldn't want Tarquin and Kayden-Lei, would you?

I always think that it is weird when people say this, because surely they aren't going to want to call their child Algernon if they already have a Wayne. I mean it is just not going to be on their radar.

You’ll spend the rest of your life saying those names close together
You really, really won’t. The children are separate individuals, that is the whole point.

It's pretty common to get asked how many children you have and in my case anyway the reply is "4, John, Paul, George and Francisco" *not my kids real names

IRL I know a family with Lee, Leanne, Leah and Jane, everyone who finds out asks why Jane.

You wouldn't hear it in real life often though, would you? I don't think many people have these discussions with people other than the baby's other parent - at least they don't if they're sane.

Well to me it just sounds a tad daft if you had a Martha Rose and Kortnee-Paige.

I think people will generally choose names that are of the same kind and type eg it's more likely that Jemima has a brother called Tobias than Kyle. If you like names like George and Thomas you're probably going to call your third son James rather than Ethan. If you like names like Eli and Noah you're probably going to call your third son Ethan rather than James. And you actually do spend a lot of time using your children's names together or in various combinations when they are living with you. Surprisingly it doesn't really take very long to think about whether names sound good together so you don't need to have a lot of time on your hands.

I don't see the need for it at all. It's daft. We didn't want to know the sex and settled on Daniel for a boy and Jessica for a girl. We had a boy, so we have Daniel. If we have a girl in the future she will be Jessica. No idea what we would call another boy.
I don't care if they don't go or match or anything. They're the names we loved and so they are the names we will use

lamagreyI don't understand the face, I hear and say my kids names alongside one another all of the time. It's surely not that unusual to call them to the table together, get them to put their coats on at the same time etc. People also say 'how are Noah and Ava?' (Or whatever) quite often. I expect this will go in long enough for it to be really annoying if the names didn't 'fit together' well.

See I don’t understand the DS was going to be Jessica if they were a girl, any future daughter will be Jessica (example from up thread) it’s like they got a cast off name. Mine had mine had a boys and girls name each which were different. (Lucas & Peter).