Name regret

[User1983]

So the 2017 top 100 names have been published. My 2018 baby is called Oliver. There was pressure from hubby and I was massively sleep deprived during the first week so I agreed but I have massive name regret now! Every time something like this is published it just confirms it.

Oliver is a great name. Not trendy or hipsterish just a great classic name. I don't know any Olivers at all - of any age.

I have 3 children. 2 have fairly classic names - not top ten but recognisable to most people. One got my favourite name in the world - literary reference from my ethnic background, very rare, very unusual, really lovely (nearly everyone who hears it says "oh that is lovely"). That dd changed her name to a shortened version in high school because she was completely sick of people saying "what" (even if followed by "oh how lovely) and mis pronouncing it (didn't think it was possible but turns out it is). So of the 3 names I gave to my children the unusual name I loved the most is the one not used :)

Having a name that is known is not a bad thing. Oliver is lovely.

I really like the name Oliver. My nephew has that name!

When I was young there were loads of kids I knew with the same name. Three Emma's, two Sarah's, three Tom's. Now no one in my kids classes at school have the same name! I don't understand why people hate their kids having popular names nowadays.

I wouldn't change it OP, Oliver is a good, strong name, very nice.

Could you use Ollie or Olly? Both cute nicknames for oliver if you prefer them

Thanks for the replies.

Interesting that name regret could be a symptom of PND. I think really it's more that I feel I had no control over the choosing of the name.

I do prefer the traditional names so really if he wasn't going to have the top name it would have been top 20 anyway!

I haven't met many Olivers yet. I have heard that nowadays the top names make up a smaller percentage of the top names back in the 80s etc so hopefully there will be less chance of him being one of 10 in the class!

With so many people picking more unusual names/trying to stay out of the top 50 etc you will find that even the most popular names you come across far less often-there is every chance he will be the only Oliver in his class with two Octavias or whatever. Try not to worry too much about popularity and focus on whether you actually like his name or not. If the issue is you don’t like it-change it, if it’s just popularity then I think it’s far less of a problem. Congratulations on your baby boy.

When you say 2018 baby, how old is he?

If he's 5 weeks old and you hate the name, change it (although it's a perfectly good name, btw). If he's 7 months old and has been called Oliver all his life I wouldn't change it now. It's not like you accidentally called him Adolf and it needs to be fixed!

I think really it's more that I feel I had no control over the choosing of the name.

I felt like this about dc1’s name, which dh picked, (we couldn’t decide on a name we each loved equally, so we cut a deal where dh picked a girl name and I picked a boy name, as we didn’t know the sex during pregnant). I still am not 100% in love with the name if I’m totally honest. But I do like it and dh loves it. I had more say over dc2’s name than dh did. Dh likes the name but doesn’t adore it, as I do. So we’ve both had to compromise a bit.

I'm a Sarah born in the 80s. Sarah was the top girl's name in the year of my birth (and the pool of names used in the UK then was far smaller than now so probably more Sarah's born then than there are Olivers now if that makes sense). I have NEVER minded being called Sarah. No-one can make judgements about whether my family or I are "posh" or "chavy", no one can take the piss, I like meeting other Sarah's, and I've never felt like I am any less of an "individual". If you don't like the name then change it but there is really nothing wrong with having a commonly used name

Please ignore the stray apostrophes..

It’s popular for a reason though, it’s a lovely name. Why should your son not get the lovely name you chose god home just because a few random strangers also chose that name for their sons?

There are no Olivers in DD’s P1 class of in the classes above of below her as far as I know so not that popular around here

*for him not ‘god home’, silly phone!

If you like the name then stick with it!

If it bothers you that it's popular then change it.

In my son's year at school (60 kids) there are no Olivers so I guess it's not popular everywhere!

It's a classic and won't date.
I've come across a few but not that many. None in my ds's class at school. Def not that popular around here.
But it's not too late to change it. Speak to your dh.

Would you use the nickname "Ollie" instead while he's young?

Best name ever - IMO. DS2 is lucky enough to have it.

Lovely name.

But I think you should talk to someone about how you feel about the way you were treated at the time of the birth. It's not a good feeling to think that your partner steamrolled over you (even over something like a name) when you were tired and vulnerable.

Oliver was one of my shortlist names for DS, yes it is the number 1 name and has been for some years but, I have not heard of or met a baby named Oliver in forever. I think it's possibly showing as so popular by it being used so often in previous years but because of the statistics, not many people actually choose it now. I don't think I know of any Oliver's under the age of 10 in reality...... we have ended up deciding on a different name but I still love the name!

PND? Name regret being a symptom of PND? Could it also be a symptom of a victim of domestic violence?
Many women are psychologically abused, manipulated and pressured to comply with the name choice of a husband during those initial weeks post birth. The body is recovering from a major physical event. This is normal. A women is naturally more sensitive around this time to detect and respond to her child's needs. Some men take advantage of this time to push their agenda.
If you want to change the name, go for it! You can keep Oliver as a second name if that's what you want.

@improve12, yes, in my case.
All in the past now and her name doesnt matter now, it is a nice name, more conservative than i would have chosen but i dont feel it matters hugely now. At the time it symbolised my lack of input, my over ruled choices, my quoshed attempts to hold some ground, my taste and my style my nationality being whitewashed for something that matched only his style and nationality.

I changed DD name one week before her 1st birthday. I had the worst baby name regret. It was a lovely name just didn't suit DD and I was often calling her 'the baby' I love her name (that I changed) and now she's 3 and I forget she was ever named Rosa.